Overweight children help needed

[stormmclean]

I weighed and measured my 7 and 10 year olds today and they are both overweight - the 7 year old by about 3kg and the 10 year old by about 5kg. Both 97th percentile for BMI.

Friends and family all tell me not to worry, they're just a sturdy/stocky build and the worst thing I can do is mention their weight or give them body issues but I do really want to tackle their weight.

We eat fairly healthily, I think it would be easier if we could just cut out biscuits, juice or puddings but they don't really have those things.
They do both have big appetites so I know that volume of food is the issue but I'm struggling with how to cut down without them feeling like I'm putting them on a diet.

Has anyone successfully managed to get their kids to a healthy weight?

It’s hard to say unless you tell us the brand you use and how much they have per serving @stormmclean

I think you’re wise to get rid of the daily crisps. IMO crisps should be an occasional thing, not a regular one. They’re just empty calories.

How many snacks do your children have each day? Do they really need snacks in addition to meals or has it become a habit to have them?

In terms of exercise, I wouldn’t look for organised activities. Most classes for kids don’t actually involve much physical activity. I’d do more walking, swimming, running as a family.

Completely agree, unless they are superstars and being intensively trained, at that age dance ballet etc is just fannying about for 30 minutes. And if for the rest of the day the child "rests up" as we are all prone to do if we think we've done some exercise then it negates the small amount of good the exercise did. My daughter used to to to 2/3 classes a week, if it's like ours I would say 90% of the kids were overweight - they did 30 minutes of exercise and were rewarded with crap from the strategically placed vending machine.

It's interesting op that you gave the healthy version of the diet but forgot the daily crisps and the meal once a week where they have double pudding and a portion size bigger than an athlete would eat in terms of sausages.

What do they eat in school?

Weight is mostly about diet so I'd focus on that rather than exercise, although it would be good to get your 10 yr old up and moving more so he gets in the habit of it and can carry that on into adulthood.

The dinners at Nanny's are a concern - it's amazing how one day of big meals and lots of calories can completely cancel out the good work you do at home.

I'd start by keeping a diary of what they eat in a week and weighing the portions you give them - you'd be surprised how easy it is to over feed. And remember they are not adults, it's also v easy to forget and over feed them.

My DD is 12, she makes her own tea sometimes and I have her measure out the pasta (using a glass that is the "pasta measure" rather than weighing though) as otherwise she'd go for half the pack 😬). Bolognese and pasta sauce I freeze in portions - the portions are absolutely plenty but if we were self serving from the pan we'd definitely put way more in. Sometimes she has freezer meals, sometimes fresh cooked. She's naturally slim but I want her to have good habits for later life. We don't really buy sweets biscuits etc much, crisps are bought specifically for the occasional packed lunches (mandatory school dinners) and her favourite snacks are carrots, granola bars and smoothies she makes with frozen fruit. She makes good choices at school (the dinners are really good!) When we're out and about if she wants cake she has cake. She's got a good balance.

It's never too late to educate them on portion sizes etc, you're not going to ruin them and you don't have to make it about their weight. I think everyone always thinks that if you talk to a child about their weight you'll automatically give them an eating disorder. But you can approach it from the pov of health and balance. Involve them in the food prep, have them read the packages and see the serving size etc. Educate them about UPFs.

The menu you gave sounds absolutely fine. So the problem will be overeating at grandparents once a week and maybe portion size at home.

Do they recognise when they are full ?

Perhaps give a smaller first serving, then wait to check they are still hungry before giving seconds.
It's great you've recognised there's a problem.
Can you walk more as a family or get a trampoline ?

I did put the daily crisps in the original list of what they eat to be fair!

Snacks - they usually have something after school every day as we don't tend to have dinner til 7ish so we eat as a family.

They do help themselves to fruit and veg though.

Packed lunch at school.

A big appetite could mean they really are eating stupidly big portions. I've seen it.
Doesn't matter how healthy food is, if they're eating their own bodyweight they'll get too big.

This sounds like you're suggesting the OP cuts down on the exercise they already take?

7 year old is pretty active, does 3 dance/gymnastics classes a week, rides her bike everywhere, plays out in the park a lot.
10 year old (autistic) is pretty sedentary, all his preferred activities are sedentary like reading, TV. Does ride his bike and go to the park occasionally but won't do any organised classes or sports.

Or did you mean walking everyday (which is just part of normal life anyway) and swimming twice a week in addition?

Ok, so I think I'd going to

Stop buying crisps
Cut carbs at dinner time
No more oven chips and fish fingers
Veg course before meals
Serious talk with grandparents
Eggs instead of toast or cereal when dinner is refused

The grandparents overfeeding them is a big issue. It's not reasonable to allow a tiny child to eat five sausages, followed by unlimited cake.

I think lunches could easily just be a sandwich and fruit. After school snack or weekend brunch could be a boiled egg or piece of omelette. You could make a tortilla/frittata type thing in advance and give them slices? Bread should be thinly sliced and not in unlimited supply.

Subtly reduce the carbs and portion size in general but add more veg and green stuff if you can. Spinach can be hidden in loads of things!

OP the daily snack after school will be one issue. Kids this age shouldn't need snacks, and nor should you expect them to wait til 7 to eat dinner on a regular basis - its too late for kids that and just extends the window each day during which they are consuming food, making it more likely they get overweight.
If a parent isn't home til 7 then you just have to accept the kids eat earlier.
The daily snack, even if only eg 70 calories such as a banana, totals 500 calories per week. 3500 calories = 1lb weight gain so every 6-7 weeks your child will gain an extra pound of weight from that one seemingly healthy snack.

Its easy to see how small things really add up to big things.

The grandparents overfeeding them is a big issue. It's not reasonable to allow a tiny child to eat five sausages, followed by unlimited cake.

I agree.

And as the OP says the volume is a problem at home too, this is why a tiny child can even manage 5 sausages followed by cake in the first place.

Overfeeding leads to overeating and overeating leads to being able to eat more and more in one sitting.

A lot of adults genuinely couldn't manage 5 sausages and unlimited cake.

Agreed - for a child to actually be able to eat that much in one sitting, they just regularly be eating very large portions.

People suggesting a boiled egg as an after school snack. That's 80 calories which over a week is over 500 calories.
Children do not need snacks after school! Primary aged children dont need to eat every 2-3 hours and it's a poor habit to set them up with for later life.

@SwanRivers yeah, you're not wrong. I was going to say their stomach capacity must be pretty big. I'm underweight so I'm not typical, but I'd imagine many large adults into bodybuilding wouldn't eat that.
So yeah, portion control. But done gradually and the grandparents have to be on board.

My children absolutely did need to snack after school, they were hideous otherwise. They are now adults and neither has any weight on them at all

Just cut back on treats and they will even out as they grow .

If you don't know how to count calories , download the nutracheck app and work out their tdee and check what they eat ( obvs without them knowing ) .. otherwise just keep a mental note of what they eat daily and make sure they don't go over their rough allowance

My son is naturally a bit greedy ( I think a lot of kids are ) and I keep an eye on his intake and cut back or add over the week .

I think it's an important part of parenting to not let your children be fat into adulthood And have bad eating habits

I teach my child to help him make healthy sensible choices and we discuss what's 'good' and 'bad' food .

He is allowed anything but always in moderation.

As an aside he has SN but can still grasp this concept well so it's easily doable with a NT child

@Freshersfluforyou I think that sounds like a healthy snack at 80 cals and plenty protein. I've never known a child that doesn't need a snack after school. Unless they are fed dinner/tea at 4pm? Then they'd surely want a snack before bed? So yeah, nothing wrong with an egg!

I am just rushing out so haven't read the whole thread, but DS was significantly overweight. A few key things were 1. cut out treats (sounds liek that's not an issue for you 2 increase movement - so encourage him to be walking/running doing stuff etc. Actual sports events etc aren't enough as there's often a lot of sstanding around and 3 (most important) shift what we ate. DS has a huge appetite so reducing his food would have been terrible for him. So we made an effort to shift to more meals where we could bulk up with lots of veg. eg salmon, rice and a huge stir fry of veg. Or steak/chicken/chops with new potatoes and a bit salad etc.

I’m in the camp that children do not need to have food shoved at them as they leave the school gate, too. If you’ve given them a healthy balanced packed lunch and know they’ve eaten it, they can manage fine until 6pm. And 6pm is the latest, as other PPs have said, that a 7yo should be having their tea, given they’ll be heading to bed around 7-730, more than an hour before bedtime. If they are going to bed later, lack of sleep also contributes to weightgain.

I also learned recently that 25% of the calories in protein is used in breaking it down, so that the net effect is a lower calorie intake… so having some pre-boiled eggs in the fridge to snack on or using them as a base for breakfast is a good tactic. most of the supermarkets now also do low carb wraps - my kids love these as they fill them with chicken and bit of low fat cheese, salad and low fat mayo and have them for breakfast or in a packed lunch. Nice warmed in the microwave or cold. Quick and easy/fun to prepare.

I have one child who is skinny and one who is chubby.

The chubby one thinks about food all day and wants to eat as much as possible
The skinny child food is an afterthought but can eat whatever he wants when he wants.

Both raised same, breastfed same, babyled weaned same, etc.

There is more to weight issues than good advice, or understanding, or intentions. For some people it is compulsive. If you know you know, if you don't you probably can't (or don't want to) understand.

Same here, we live in France where everyone has the after school 'gouter'.

My 10 year old has started getting a bit chunky. I have reduced his breakfast size ( and he does get cereal....porridge, weetabix, rice krispies or shreddies) or 1 slice of toast and a banana), his lunchboxes are fairly healthy and I now only put 1/2 sandwich in, only water to drink, 1 bag of chips a week for school lunch, no bars ( normally some dried fruit and nuts, tomato, cucumber or carrot) but he does get a squeeze yogurt tube ( also his teacher takes the piss out of me for him having fruit and nuts etc as a snack)
I have reduced portion sizes for dinner also and feed less and more vege, or sometimes soup instead of a proper dinner ( without bread but with carrot sticks or other vege)
It's tough though. And my kids are fairly active, swimming twice weekly, walking, cycling , soft play regularly.

My 11 year old grows outwards, storing calories, before he grows up in height. Currently in an overweight phase with moobs. He plays an hour of sport every day, rides his scooter for hours at a skate park. We don’t have sweet treats in the house, he doesn’t really like them anyway. I am hoping he grows upwards soon, it has been quite a long phase of overweight.