Overweight children help needed

[stormmclean]

I weighed and measured my 7 and 10 year olds today and they are both overweight - the 7 year old by about 3kg and the 10 year old by about 5kg. Both 97th percentile for BMI.

Friends and family all tell me not to worry, they're just a sturdy/stocky build and the worst thing I can do is mention their weight or give them body issues but I do really want to tackle their weight.

We eat fairly healthily, I think it would be easier if we could just cut out biscuits, juice or puddings but they don't really have those things.
They do both have big appetites so I know that volume of food is the issue but I'm struggling with how to cut down without them feeling like I'm putting them on a diet.

Has anyone successfully managed to get their kids to a healthy weight?

Its position control you need to fix primarily, for example 7-10 year olds should have approx 40g of cooked pasta. That's only 18g dry.

Just reduce portions by a tiny bit each day for the next couple of weeks. They won't notce a difference if it's by a tiny bit each day. Maybe "forget" to buy crisps a bit more often. Up exercise for your sedentary child a little. Then let them grow taller and naturally thin out i.e. it's not about losing weight, it's about not putting more on and then growing taller so they are back in the normal range.

Maybe talk about mum and dad becoming healthier but don't bring them into it.

When my kids were babies, I read something about French women not giving their kids snacks. It's probably not true but at the time I took it on board and tried to only feed my kids at meal times. When they were little, I had four meal times breakfast lunch , after school and evening meal. I didn't rule out snacks altogether, but generally we just didn't have them. My kids are adults and they still don't snack much.

Posters are arguing about the after school snack thing but surely it massively depends on the other meal times and school day.
My kids did a lot of sports including swimming afterschool so could be ravenous when they got home.

It's common for 7-10 to chunk up, they have their first wave of puberty around 7 and then again a few years later so get bigger and then shoot up. So sounds like both are approaching their own stages of that unless obviously massively overweight.

If you make curry etc you could increase the amount of vegetables (carrots, onions etc) in the curry proportionally to everything else. That way you are stil giving them the same amount of food (rather than reducing their portion sizes) but it will have less calories. I agree with others its better to grow into the weight than lose weight.
On the other hand - clearly they enjoy the food you make. Maybe you could burn the food a bit so they don't want to clear their plates (obviously this is a joke suggestion).

First thing you do is you don’t tell DC. The last thing you want is to give them a complex about their weight, which could well up being lifelong.
Second thing is, BMI has long been established as not being a good indicator of healthy weight. If your child is very active, there’s a good chance they have built up muscle mass (which weighs more than fat).
Feed them healthy meals most of the time, try to avoid sugary snacks unless it’s a treat and keep encouraging them to take part in their activities. Sometimes, a child who looks slightly on the “chunkier” side simply needs to grow into their weight.
My niece is an excellent example of this, she was HUGE as a baby and toddler, still chunky between the ages of 3 and 10, then when she got close to her teenager years she shot up in height a little bit and suddenly dropped lots of puppy fat-she’s now a very lean 15 year old and her diet has barely changed at all (i say “barely” because naturally as she’s got older she enjoys a wider variety of food)

Any thyroid issues in the family op?

Well done for recognising and tackling, we did with DD as we were feeding her too many carbs when she was little. I also think the diet sounds good, hence asking about thyroid.

I don't think the breakfasts sound high sugar. Greek yoghurt (plain I assume) great for calcium and protein. The peanut butter is high in fat but also has protein. You could move to eggs which would help with some more protein and less fat.

Well done on getting children to eat plain greek yoghurt!

I think their diet sounds pretty good - are you sure they are not eating others sweet at lunchtime?

All 3 of my children were chunky between the age of 8 and 11, they had good diets and they were rarely in the house, sport dance and playing out was their exercise. By the time they were teens all of them were skinny and now they are in their 30s they are still skinny. My Husband ( not my children's father) was the same, he was so chunky aged 10 but but by 14 was skin and bone, the same with his brothers.
Many children do the same. As long as your children have a good diet they will be fine as long as you up their walking, if school is within a half hour walk, they should be walking everyday. Walking is the way to get the weight off. Too many children are chauffeured everywhere.

Perhaps ask your GP as with what you are saying they eat it sounds like a good diet for children, and better than most are eating. You don't want to cut back too much if their body needs it.

My kids don't have a snack after school. Dinner when they were little was 5pm but no snack needed as they went to bed at 7! And no they didn't wake hungry in the night, because they had good appetites for their dinner having not had a snack after sch.
These days in upper primary age groups dinner has pushed later eg 6pm but they still never have a snack after school.

It will be portion sizes. I grew up eating fairly big portion sizes right from a young age because thats what I liked, it was the 70s so there wasnt constant snacking or junk/takeaway food like there is now, however I have always been able to wolf down massive portions

Then as an adult I just got fatter and fatter on home cooked food, eating out by eating too much volume.

Its a bit of a myth that every fat person is fat due to UPFs or massive takeaways. I love cooking and unfortunately like eating the results.

So of us have no 'off switch' and thats difficult in kids becuase you have to monitor that for them

Where have you got an 18g uncooked portion from? That would be literally 18 pieces of fusilli.

The government website is suggesting 45-65g.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-food-standards-resources-for-schools/portion-sizes-and-food-groups#starchy-foods

@Freshersfluforyou fair enough. Each to their own. But after school snacks are quite normal. Kids I know eat dinner at around 7, then bed at about 9. So no way would they be able to survive from 12pm lunch.
I think the main issue OP faces isn't simply whether or not to offer an after school snack.

Overall, their diet is very heavy on carbs. If they like to eat a lot, it's an issue because although they are all relatively healthy options, overeating on carbs is very easy.

I would change the way you think about meals: think protein + veggies, and carbs on the side.
So roasted chicken and veg, with a few potatoes.
Or cheese omelette, with a piece on bread.

If they have had pancakes for snack, I wouldn't cut that off, but I would make a carb free dinner.
The idea is to reduce the reliance on carbs to fill full (protein is best for that), and balance everything over the day rather than trying to do that for each meal.

I completely recognise that it's not easy though! Carbs are often the quickest and safest food that kids will without too much fuss!

If you feel they are eating too much, reduce what they are eating. My eldest, when she was little used to have a big appetite (she still does a bit I guess!). But anyway, I would worry because she had no off button for food and I was worried she would feel sick from eating too much, so I used to tell her okay that is enough. Or this is it. She also used to drink a ton of milk. She was never fat, just a little pudgy at the age of two. Anyway, when she stopped drinking so much milk (she had bottles on top of all her food) she slimmed down and remains slim until now many years later. But, my point is, when she was too young to understand about the amounts of food to eat, I helped guide her. Some children just do not know when to stop or understand the cues of being full.

I think a lot of the posts here are overcomplicating a very simple issue.

You just need smaller plates OP

the issue is likely portion size- are you dishing them up plates as big as yours and your husband at dinner?
In my experience, as a former fat child, and general
observer a lot can be down to portion size, double to triple what a child needs becoming the norm and thinking because it’s “healthy” it’s fine

Yes, I'm definitely going to cut down on carbs a lot.

They already eat off small side plates, but I'm going to reduce the amount of carbs, up the veg and stop them serving themselves or having seconds.

Exactly like DS1. Was a huge baby, always hungry, & throughout childhood sat beyond the 100th centile for height and weight. Always way taller than peers, and 'sturdy'. Healthy diet with appropriate portions & not much snacking. He was soft looking despite being very active (swimmimg, rugby, biking) & very outdoorsy dad forever taking him outdoors. He told me a few years ago he'd get 'fat-boy' comments in early secondary, which is upsetting.

Out of nowhere around 15 he slimmed right down, with no change in lifestyle. He's now a 20 year old with a 27 inch waist, rugby thighs & big shoulders (the classic triangle). Still loves his food & his sport. He sits around 11.5 stones.

DS2 had the same diet & lifestyle & was slim all his life. He eats far too much crap (18, I can't control that now) but is tall, rangy & never worries.

My points: It's sometimes genetics/ predisposition; a snack after school won't make you an over-weight adult (it's far more complex); life-long sport is good all sorts of reasons, one being weight.

The body is very efficient. It takes a lot of consistent exercise to shed 1 kg of weight.
Excercise on it’s on is not enough, plus it’s likely they will come home very hungry and over eat, defeating the whole purpose of exercising.

OP, I’d get rid of juices to start with. They don’t need extra sugars every meal time, plus it’s really bad for the teeth. If that’s too hard to do, limit it to 2/3 a week then slowly wean them off it.
follow this strategy to other things.

We are in the same boat as you, trying more or less the same things. We have recently joined David Lloyd. Child now uses the gym with daddy or swims with mummy 2-3 times a week. Don't know how much difference it will make.

Yes exercise makes me ravenous