How do you stop being scared at night

[Scaredycat22]

I live alone in a 3 storey 4 bedroom house. I am in a safe area in suburbia, but there have been some recent break ins. I can’t sleep at night thinking people will break in while i sleep. Does anyone else live in a big house by themselves? Do I have to downsize to feel safer? There is a sad back story to why i live alone. I didn’t plan it like that.

I live in a tiny house and I'm still scared!
I have a dog who i think would at least alert me if someone was trying to get in. He sleeps at the door.
I have a hammer under the bed.
Leave the outside lights on and a light on downstairs.
I have neighbours contact numbers and my phone next to me.
I think I would become obsessed with checking cameras if I had them!
A bolt on bedroom door is a good idea though. I imagine if someone got in they aren't interested in you so they'd just get on with stealing and leave.

I agree with you that more obvious security makes a house look like there's something worth stealing.

Even being worried about this shouldn't be enough to stop you sleeping at all.

Can you sleep in the daytime?

Has DS recently moved to uni? Maybe it's an adjustment?

You should downsize anyway. Too many older people wait and then end up stuck in inaccessible properties. In your 50s everyone should think of moving into a house with a level front (no steps) with a downstairs loo and a downstairs area/room that can be used for sleeping.

You should downsize anyway. Too many older people wait and then end up stuck in inaccessible properties. In your 50s everyone should think of moving into a house with a level front (no steps) with a downstairs loo and a downstairs area/room that can be used for sleeping.

really? well you can think about it but all being well when I hit 50 I'll be 7 years into my new mortgage in my townhouse see other threads on a hill so step required with a child just finishing GCSEs so it's not likely or practical that's I'll move into my dotage home, maybe rich people do that? 🥴

I get it OP, I live in a large house and DH is often away with work. I never felt like this when I lived in our 2 bed terrace.

It is actually fire that worries me as much as intruders so I would not be locking my bedroom door at night. I also wouldn't be putting any kind of weapon under my bed as I'm sure I've read that an intruder is more likely to use it on you if you startle them with a weapon.

Like others have said, I put my handbag and my car keys by the front door. We have a ring doorbell camera at the front and a security camera covering the back but try not to go OTT as I don't want to give the impression that we have anything worth stealing.

I also wouldn't get a really fancy car as again, don't want to advertise the fact we may have money.

Growing up we lived rurally in a house with no neighbours close by and we were burgled twice. I find having other houses around me actually gives me a lot of comfort. My parents ended up getting a gravel driveway so they'd be more altered to noise and buying an old banger of a car for a few hundred quid that they literally kept on the driveway permanently and moved every so often so it would look like someone was home when we were away on holiday.

We do live on one of the streets locally with larger houses so it's in the back of my mind. Fortunately we're one of the more visible houses on the road with a street lamp right outside and in full view of other neighbours. Some other houses are a bit more tucked away and would worry me a little more.

I think if I was permanently on my own I would downsize to be honest as lots of empty rooms give me the creeps a bit (inexplicably.) But other things that help are keeping curtains closed, playing an audiobook if I'm having trouble sleeping and reminding myself that there are neighbours around.

I have video recorders at every entry point, movement sensor lights outside My home, burglar alarms too

Same. I also keep an Indian dagger that my dad brought back from his travels down by the side of my bed.

Thanks for all the dead and it has really helped me reading all your responses. To those who suggested moving and downsizing. I will do this eventually, but it’s just not the right time for various reasons for a few years. I think I need to work on my own fear now. I double locked the door last night which helped a bit. Not sure why I have never done that before. I don’t think lots of security and hammer under the bed would work for me. I would just become more scared I think. Meditation and keeping radio/ lights on is a good idea. Maybe I will
lock my bedroom door too. 🙏 eveyone

That should say responses not dead!

Can you get a dog? There has been a number of surveys of burglars etc and they all said that a dog was the biggest deterrent.
I always thought mine would be crap with intruders (they are so soft and stupid) but a couple of years ago some asshole came sneaking through our side gate at 3am. (We caught it on the security cameras) The dogs went berserk! The noise they made was like nothing I have ever heard, nothing like the noise they make when say the door bell rings, they sounded wild and feral! Said asshole heard them, froze, then turned and legged it. I’ve slept much better ever since.

I agree dogs are probably the best security, but I work long days and just don’t think it would be fair to get a dog only for security.

@Scaredycat22 - you can get alarms which aren't set off by pets. Our neighbour has one and a cat which is indoors all night.

"You should downsize anyway. Too many older people wait and then end up stuck in inaccessible properties. In your 50s everyone should think of moving into a house with a level front (no steps) with a downstairs loo and a downstairs area/room that can be used for sleeping."

wtf 😂

In our 50s, many of us are still raising youngish children in family homes that also need to accommodate them and their needs, not downsizing and planning for debility and death!

Quite, DH is almost 52, DD is just 5. We aren’t moving in to retirement property! We are staying put for schools for at least another 13 years.

My Dad is 75 and only just retired (through choice). His house has a downstairs bedroom which is currently an office though but that’s just chance.

Yes, what a thought.

DH is 56, I amd 52 and DD is just 17. If parents are any indication we still have 30+ years to live very healthy and mobile. Friends have children in lower secondary school and in mid-primary school.

We also both work from home, one permanent, one hybrid, we need out space.

I am not blind on issues in old age but in my 50s I think it's far too early to think about a senior living facility. If DH or I would need accessible living now because of injury or illness, we would look obviously to move, but talk to me again in 20 years or so.

I think you might need a bit of therapy to try and address your anxiety?

It's not normal to be this worried about it.

Even if someone broke in they'd be very unlikely to have any intention of hurting you. Petty thieves mostly just care about grabbing something and running.

Kindly - your thought process here isn't really very rational and you are getting yourself into a state about something that's very unlikely to happen. It might help to speak to someone x

Thanks. Judging from my responses I am not the only person anxious at night though. I am not actually a particularly anxious person during the day at all and I am not someone who would ever seek out therapy hence posting on MN.m which has helped me a lot.

People really lock their bedroom door?

What if you have kids? Do they have a lock?

If not then you're safe but they aren't?

Oddly enough I was resting on the sofa downstairs this morning just before daybreak when the front door handle was tried - I was quite anxious for about half an hour clutching my phone but it was only one attempt, then the person went off.

Might just have been someone drunk/MH issues

Brilliant is gravel , I hate nett curtains but put them up as it reduces and limits vision into your home , advice given to me .