If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

It was about keeping up appearances. People in obvious poverty obviously need help. But I bet there's still plenty of families whose kids actually have very little but whose parents would die rather than let on.

You need to be able to reach those hidden children.

It's weird because I always had the best uniforms and school supplies, but hardly any other clothes and hardly ever shampoo and stuff in the house. I didn't even have pyjamas growing up. I don't really understand it.

Like, I would get given money to buy things for those charity boxes the school made us make for poor kids, stuff in them that I didn't even have

My kids were able to access a youth cafe where we lived. It was a space where they could buy cheap food, do homework, chat and hang out, but there were adult volunteers there and there was I think a floating youth worker around.
They could get a bit of homework help if they needed and a bowl of supernoodles and stay out of the rain 😬

Work experience opportunities.

So many kids benefit from the varied opportunities the social capital of friends and family can provide, whilst others have to make do with what the school can offer, which is rarely enticing.

@ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName
I was the same, well turned out for school, but barely anything outwith school, I had to get a paper run at 11 to buy sanitary pads and deodorant.

My late mum brought us up on her own, alcoholic father and domestic violence until I was around 10. I remember once around 11 being able to go just on a religious school lunch trip locally. It was so exciting to go somewhere with other children as I lived fairly remote due to the property my parents liked. On this trip at some point it became obvious everyone had bought lunch but me. My mum never made lunch, she was often hungover lonely and depressed , I guess didn't know I needed lunch to take. I still feel the shame of all the kids looking at me because one of the teachers mentioned I had none. Everyone shared a little and I was glad to eat but ashamed.

Most times I did not really understand nutrition, if I was given cash for lunch by mum I wasted it on things I saw other people eat. I'm my teens I got an issue with my sight that usually only happens in third world countries due to poor nutrition. She didn't mean to but I think depression and not working meant there wasn't much money or awareness on her part.

Finally as a teen I got work in summers and so I finally ate well every single day, and could pay for my school notebooks so I wouldn't be taken out of school early, which was the threat because I was clearly smart and going further than mum had been able to. I still don't understand that threat to this day.

My child is probably spoilt because I will never have them feel like that, the shame and neglect with no adults really know what was happening to me.

I can only think of things I actually had:

Parents who valued education
Going to the library.
No tutorial fees for university.

The thing is that when you are a child you have no frame of reference. So you don't know what neglect is, what normal is, or how to work out whether your parents are doing a good job or not. It's only later that the pieces fall into place. At the time, you are just surviving.

Being educated about money

I learned as an adult, but it would have made a massive difference to me if I had known about credit, tax and pensions etc. at an earlier age

Shoes yes.
And advice re. Careers with everything explained clearly about funding, grants etc. My mum had no idea and thought we couldn't afford university. Maybe work experience arrangements.

I guess, I think if my mum had the money she would have spoiled me if she could. But it's like she was poor and just kind of gave up in a depression

And she was too proud to shop at charity shops, and I think that would have really helped

@echt
Why would you comment that when the thread is highlighting some appalling neglect and abuse.

Because the thread is about growing up poor. It's right there in the title.

Help with higher education choices and options, and support to keep me in school. I ended up leaving home at 16 and going into a shitty job. I'm nearly 40 now and really wish I had more qualifications to get a better job.

@nodramamama

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Your own child sounds cherished 💕

I chose to focus on the things I had which helped mitigate the poverty of my upbringing, just as the OP suggested. It's right there, in the OP's first post.

That was addressed to@OnaBegonia.

The OP asked for what might have helped.

What I wrote both might have helped me and I felt did. Just as they might help anyone in poverty.

A bike, and someone to teach me to ride it.

Your post made perfect sense to me.

@AutumnMagpies This hit me. It’s exactly how I’ve felt for over 30 years. Even now I realise what I didn’t get in terms of emotional and general life support. Still learning things most people knew at 13/14 at the age of 47. I feel like I’ve blagged a lot of things and had to observe from others more than anything.