If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

You may need to register as a CIC or similar (lots of guidance online) in order to register as a provider, but the following can help:

Sal’s Shoe’s for shoes for children (they may also provide adults)

Smalls for All for underwear

Children In Need Emergency Essentials - white goods, sofas. They can also provide beds.

There is a special fund just for children’s beds through Buttle UK I believe.

You can find a full list of grant providers on Turn 2 Us, and your local council should have a list of local charities and funders.

What an amazing initiative! You will make such a difference. Good luck!

Clothes , nothing says you're poor more than old clothes old shoes . Even little things like nice pencils and notebooks for school.

I think the biggest difference would have been if my parents had actually accepted that we were poor as church mice and just told us. Instead we grew up thinking our family was posh and rich, and we were better than the other children in our class etc and that was why we couldn't go to play at their house or them come to ours etc.
I'd have liked regular dental visits and then maybe my teeth would be less awful and high maintenance than they are now.
Having more than one set of 'nice clothes for church' would have saved so much teasing and bullying from other children who saw us wearing the same thing week in week out. In other communities it probably wouldn't have been noted.

https://network.goodthingsfoundation.org/funding-and-services/databank

I came here to post this too @Treesinthewind :)

Free SIM cards to provide access online if there is no broadband or way to get onto the internet otherwise. Crucial for school now.

I don't know if this is any help but there's an FB page called 500 Acts of Kindness. It's run by Julie Hesmondalagh ( probably spelt wrong!) I don't know what the criteria for receiving is but it could help.

You're doing a wonderful thing. Is there any way to donate?

I agree the local library made an enormous difference. It gave me access to loads of books we could not have afforded.
I would have liked better career advice. I remember saying I wanted to be in a certain career and the careers teacher actually laughed and said I should look at being a secretary. This was despite me passing the 11+ but my parents sent me to the failing local comp anyway so I think it would be helpful for aspirational careers advisers to also speak to parents.
I did not suffer with hunger or lack of clothes/shoes though so I know I was lucky.
Supplements are a great idea as our meals were not great nutritionally it was more about not being hungry and easy cooking solutions. This makes me think cooking and nutrition lessons for kids and parents.

@flowersintheatticus If you are based anywhere near Teesside I will happily donate the odd Saturday afternoon to come and give haircuts. I don't have a full kit anymore as I no longer practice hairdressing commercially but I still hold insurance and I'm sure I can rustle up enough supplies to do some cut and blowdries. I might need to invest in some brushes and products but I don't mind that.

I also do barbering but it's been a while. Simple short back and sides are fine but if any of the lads are after fancy fades they might want to give me a few weeks to get back into the swing of it.

Ditto anyone who lives near me who struggles to afford haircuts for themselves or their kids. I'll donate my time and the stuff I have already for free. If you want anything I don't have in terms of colors or bleaches, you pay for the stuff and I'll apply it, only because it can be £££ and I've just taken a massive pay cut after redundancy.

Decent haircuts is never really something I thought about as my mum trained to be a hairdresser and she did well enough for people not to notice it wasn't professional.

Thank you everyone for all the replies, I've been so busy so don't have time to reply individually, but I very definitely have something in my eye 😢I don't want to out myself by giving the exact location (we aren't mainland) but all of the offers of help/donations/time is very much appreciated. A poster asked why I don't ask the local community rather than mumsnet, but 1) as a I said this is not intended to look like a poor kids club, so don't want parents thinking their dc are charity cases and 2) because we are very aware that if we asked they are going to say money, new beds, holidays and other things that are not realistic for us to provide for the time being. It is very small scale and part time, but maybe in the future we could do some of the bigger suggestions.
I'm really sorry for the personal experiences of those who have responded, I really hope in a very tiny way we might be able to be a nice aunty or kind, listening ear to someone and it makes their day a tiny bit easier.

Some of this is awful
Clearly parents were having far more kids than they could afford.
A bra between you and having to wear cast off bras!!!!!!!!

Family support was the difference for me between being poor and being in abject poverty. I didn't have much but my wider family and those in the village I lived in, ensured we had heating, clothes, hot meals.

Until I did things with my boyfriend and his family (aged 17) I'd never been to a restaurant, never had takeaway pizza, and they took me on a holiday of a lifetime. His dad even taught me how to use chopsticks (he must have seen the terror on my face as we entered the chinese restaurant). I'd also never eaten chinese before and they ordered so much and spun it around on a lazy susan so I could try everything. God, they were so lovely.

Now I can afford to do things, we often invite my daughter's friend with us. Her mum's on her own with two teens and they don't have much. I see a bit of me in her and hope we can make things a little easier where we can.

I think it's not always about having more kids than you can afford. For us it was a narcissistic father with a gambling addiction,
but we as kids suffered.
I wish things like food banks had existed in our area as we would have for sure used them

Unfortunately for some our parents could afford us. They just couldn't be bothered. Other things were a priority. No amount of additional money coming into our home would have made my life better as a child, it would have never been spent on us children. It would be far easier to understand and accept they'd have tried their best.

Nope I'm an only child.

Having a clean, not broken mattress would have made a massive difference instead of cardboard

I don’t think a lot of thought was given to whether parents could afford children in the past. It was just expected that couples would have children. Contraception wasn’t always available or effective either . Sometimes people didn’t realise how demanding having children would be, or how expensive they are. Often parents just weren’t equipped to deal with their children emotionally or in any other way , it’s something they weren’t aware of . My parents just had children because it was what people did once they got married. They had both had poor parenting themselves and were traumatised. They just did what they knew. They didn’t have much for themselves either, it was a pretty bleak experience for all of us.

@StealthilyEmbraceTheSilkyBeans You repaid them in the best way possible. A quiet life in a job you enjoy, a husband and children who love you, that is the perfect reward.

And you don't realise this but you broke the cycle. Your children can flourish, those two people gave your children that.

@flowersintheatticus When I was at uni I applied to several charitable trusts and got money each year.

If you want someone to look in to funding for beds / holidays I have time to do that.

I realise that is a huge trust issue as you would have to disclose, but I will make that offer to anyone who I can be useful too.

That's something I never did too- went out to eat. It hasn't been easy as a single mother on a low income, but I felt the need to take my son out to eat here and there, and I'm glad I did that, at least

You would think that, but I was once a couple years ago in a really bad situation. We needed more food, but I just couldn't bring myself to go to the church for the food donations. I was too ashamed, and my shame won over the need.

You are a good person @sashh :)

@ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName that's so sweet of you thank you.

I just noticed I missed out a 'to' but I think that makes sense.

I'm trying to get involved with the community shop but they have not managed to get the right people together yet. I can't physically help with things like stacking shelves so they need to get the, whatever, board I suppose together.

They do lots of things identified in this thread, summer play scheme with 'swimming pools' these are actually those great big paddling pools, they have music workshops in other school holidays and every so often they can give extras away for free, in the summer they had packs with disclosing tablets, tooth brush and toothpaste in.

I feel a pull to do some type of voluntary work too. Maybe with the homeless. But I need to work out my own life and get myself together first. I think it would be a good thing to have in your life, as well as to the people helped through it.

And yes good idea tooth cleaning stuff- god knows I could have used that as a kid. It's crazy how bad it is for some kids

BTW, MNHQ, there's an error in the forums- if I post a comment the blue button showing someone's made a comment to read it disappears (the new comment) when you post your own and sometimes it doesn't come back in view

I mentored for a while with the Sutton trust and it made me so sad to hear some of the negative voices in the heads of some of the young people I was speaking to and some of the misinformation even from teachers they were picking up.

I remember one girl who was desperate to study languages at university, she had a real passion for it and was naturally really good despite not having many of the opportunities of her peers. She had so many voices of don’t bother- everyone speaks English, it’s a waste of time, no hope of getting a job etc etc. Even her teachers were telling her to not bother with volunteering or other clubs as universities won’t care. They might not but employers absolutely do. It made me realise this is potentially why you get kids who manage go get to university but don’t then manage to get on grad schemes etc.

A decent school that didn't write off all but the very clever.

An insight into the value of education/career

Information about practicalities of growing up- mortgage, rent, bills, deposits etc