If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

pocket money at a reasonable level

Toothpaste and toothbrushes. Private dental appointments for the kids if they can't get NHS ones. At around £30 per child every year, that's £120 per child for the first 5 years. Feels like a good investment as good dental health is not only crucial to good health but also important for confidence/feeling good etc throughout life.

Yes this! I was never taken to a dentist and knew nothing about looking after my teeth and have paid the price my entire adult life

I heard something on the radio not so long ago about a family (possibly refugees?) that was so poor that they only had one working lightbulb, which they moved from room to room as necessity required.

It's shocking that that might be some children's reality and I think that any would-be interventions need to check on the most basic of things before moving on to school trips, music lessons etc. Maslow's hierarchy and all that; you can't move up that pyramid until the mose basic needs are met.

Oh gosh yes, I've just seen toilet roll mentioned up thread! How I hated using torn up newspaper -

( But at least we had newspaper to tear up!)

I hear you.

How can these advocates and mentors reach out to the children in need?

It is something I would like to do when I retire but am not sure how to go about it.

I wish someone had told me about compound interest when I was young. Parents couldn’t teach what they didn’t know.

Soap
Clean clothes
Heat
Shoes without holes
Books
Money to get the bus to school
Sanpro so I didn't miss school each month
Food
But mostly a Bed. I would have loved a bed.

Proper career advice / mentoring

A bra. Period pads. Free school meals (parents didn’t know enough about benefits so I didn’t get this even though, looking back, I was more in need than many of the kids who did get it!)

Lessons in life skills. Banking, cooking good food on a budget. Etc

@Frequency I totally agree with you. It took me until my 30s to access further and higher education. Not only parents not encouraging FE, teachers too. Everyone's expectations were set so low for most at our school. It was via youth and community work, that I reached my potential, educationally.

New clothes that were brand new to me. My childhood home was very damp too so my secondhand clothes smelled fusty.

And - heating!!!! Omg, my childhood memory is one of being so very, very cold.

Heating is the one thing i prioritise as an adult. I was a 60s kid with ice on the insides of single glazing, teeth chattering, could see breath indoors.

And chest infection after chest infection. My chest is still the first thing to complain now if i get a cold.

But new clothes is what i most wanted. As soon as i was a teenager with my own job (13 plus cafes, shops) i bought clothes

That is probably the most moving post I have ever read on this site. It made me cry. Most of all though I want to applaud you. What an absolutely amazing achievement.

What happened to you in later life? How did you break the cycle?

I can relate to many of these experiences but I wasn’t brought up in poverty exactly. My parents had very little money and no support from family at all. I remember being cold every winter because they didn’t have central heating until quite late on. They didn’t have a fridge or a washing machine until I was a teenager. All my clothes were secondhand and usually didn’t fit or were very unfashionable. Bras were my mother’s old ones. I didn’t have anything that was mine. Very very few toys as a child. I didn’t have a proper haircut until I was 15 and paid for it myself. We didn’t have holidays until an Uncle left my mother some money . It was just relentless boredom and loneliness. My parents took no interest in me and never guided me. I didn’t have any adults who cared really. My escape was reading. The library was a godsend, without it I don’t know where I would have been.

There was never any food in the fridge. Both parents worked and were off before we had got up - we sorted ourselves out and walked to school. There was no one in when we got home - both went directly to the pub. There was enough money coming in - they just didn't spend the time or money on us - it all went on alcohol and cigarettes. School dinners or a breakfast club would have helped. A warm coat. We just weren't on the radar for social services. This was the 70's. You just never thought of asking a teacher for help, for instance. I remember going into the home economics rooms at lunch time looking for food.

What would have helped? I suppose someone at school reaching out on a regular basis to ask if everything was OK.

Help and guidance with my education and the same with possible career opportunities.

I have someone in mind and I think she would benefit from more adult education and life skill type support.

she has also started up her own personal trainer business and signed a contract which I think is illegal and improper. She could do with assistance With funded legal advice.

Mentoring
access to paid for extra curricular clubs

I grew up poor in the 80s. Being poor as a teen was hellish. I would have liked a nice haircut, a fashionable winter coat and a nice pair of boots. The memory of being physically separated from the paying customers in Clarks and BHS and having to get the orange Polyvelts and the grey Michelin Man puffa jacket with clothing vouchers still makes my cheeks sting with shame.

Therapy. I felt lost a lot growing up. Having someone to talk to that had nothing to do with my family and was confidential would have helped me greatly.

Conversation, about the school day, how I was feeling, friendships, about health and wellbeing, and what I wanted from life, for my future. Just a good quality bit of listening time and parental advice (mentoring/steering/guiding/). We got nothing. 0.

@AutumnMagpies isn't alone in shedding a tear. When people say not all heroes wear capes, these are the people they should be thinking about.