If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

This is a really good/interesting point. My local library sells hot drinks for 10p for a glass of squash and 50p for a hot drink. I suspect it can't cost them more than £5-£10 a month in costs. I wonder if this sort of thing could be funded. I will try to look into that but it's an interesting point for the OP as well I suspect.

This in absolute heaps 😭

This is such a heartrending thread.

Wow what a thought provoking thread 😭.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and so sorry you had them. I will seek out more opportunities to help.

I know it might not mean much now but I and most of the kids I knew got bored with them straight away. Once you went down the road and back you'd had enough of it. We ended up kicking them around.
I suppose having the chance to get bored with it in the first place is what entitlement means I suppose.

This is exactly what I was thinking.
Does anyone know how you can find charities that support children in poverty either with donations or through volunteering as a mentor or running a homework club or activity?

I really want to do something to help but don’t know where to start. As others have said, would welcome some pointers.

What would have helped? I suppose someone at school reaching out on a regular basis to ask if everything was OK.

Would you have felt safe enough to tell the truth? Or would you have feared consequences for 'shaming the family' (even tho' you weren't the one responsible)? And, unless you knew life could be different, it mightn't have struck you as that odd at the time?

It's supposedly one of the reasons that bright w/c students sometimes struggled when they went to university. They were surrounded by people whose lives to that point may as well have belonged to a parallel universe. Across the classes, it can also be a time when some people realise that not every family experiences coercive control and family violence.

Mandatory free summer holiday clubs. The holidays were when we were neglected the most

Made me well up too. Wow. What a qonderful impact those two people had.

The things I have taken away from this is:
-buy and donate packs of pants/vests to foodbank
-ditto body wash/soap
-make a donation to local junior school PTA

I used to work for a massive organisation that had a CSR fund for local charities. I was able to apply on behalf of a local primary where we did a reading scheme, and got £1000 for them for books. Worth asking if your employers do similar?

I was under the impression that summer holiday schemes/school trips were free for pupil premium kids - is that not right?

Completely agree about Surestart too.

I love reading your posts, if you ever feel like writing a book, I'd happily buy it.

Travel costs. I remember my sixth form College was based over 2 sites and the bus fare was an issue.

Course materials. Probably an obvious one but understanding that not everyone can buy everything (Art A level being a particularly painful memory)

University support and advice. My parents were very supportive of me going but couldn't really advise me. My College 'careers advice' went as far as pointing me at a pile of prospectuses in the library, the rest was down to me. Now I'm supporting my dc with Uni choices I can see how badly I was 'advised'.

I think you have repaid them very well. They acted as they did because they wanted to make a difference to YOU not necessarily the whole world.

You have used the stepping stones they provided to live a safe life where you have taken responsibility for yourself and your daughters. You have been able to grow enough emotionally to have a stable relationship in marriage and provide a very different childhood for your daughter's than your own. You have been able to live and love, genuinely and freely.

As for your own work in women's prisons, the vast majority of these women will have experienced disadvantage, neglect and/or abuse growing up. Your input offers them stepping stones to look a life from different perspectives, read about other womens' experience and to reflect on their own. Just as your teachers could never know how the things they did for you will be if impact in your life, you can never know what impact the work you do with women in prison will have on theirs!

Nah, that's not a disappointment to them. You took their help and made your opportunities to end up with a safe, clean, warm and comfortable home and a happy family life. That's absolutely a success, just as giving those women - who didn't have a Miss Cooper and Mr Hall in their childhood - access to literature and the right to have opinions (and, frankly, to be allowed to read books) listened to, agreed with or challenged without the 'what would you know, you're just....' attitude, is.

Totally agree. Just making a happy, secure life for yourself and your children is enough in itself. Volunteering in a women's prison is amazing.

Since Ofsted descended on DC's school and asked for feedback and I made my feelings on this matter known, I notice that the school is now very careful to stress that any contribution for anything is purely voluntary "but of course we won't be able to run X or Y if we don't get enough voluntary contributions ".,

It's a step in the right direction I guess.

Yes nothing like some guilt....pay or noone gets to do it 🙄

@StealthilyEmbraceTheSilkyBeans it's ok, I get in posty postie moods too. I don't think anyone notices. It's funny having psychiatrist. Mine looked really sad once when I told her something, that I didn't really realise was sad at the time, just a fact of my life experience

Yes true,would we have said a word against our family? In my case no, not a chance.
But because if it wasnt going to get me out, it would make things so much harder. I would have been ridiculed in the family, more than I already was. It probably would have caused violence to me. It would almost definitely have curtailed my various escapes to the library. I would've ended up inside the house even more, lost in books, never would have learned how to get along with others.
Even now many years later I'm terrified of smelling bad but not realising that I smell bad, like I didn't know back then.
Even now I struggle in social situations and cringe with what stupidity came out of my mouth. Also menopause has happened, giving anxiety but a care less attitude. Christ does life ever get easier?

I remember a social worker coming to see me at my house, (she must have been new) she let my stepfather (the entire reason I was what I was) stay in the room while she talked to me. I remember thinking, if she would just tell him to get out, I might've said what was going on, but then did I trust that he wouldnt kill us both?

You'll say, dont be silly, he wouldnt kill either of you, but I grew up with him saying, he would kill me and anyone close to me,so it was a credible threat.