Thread 15 - TalkLair: “I Can't Lie To You About Your Chances, But... You Have My Sympathies.”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 14).

Autumn seems to have gone straight into winter. It's cold, wet and windy. In the TalkLair, the hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them). The denizens of the lair are a welcoming bunch though, always eager for general chit-chat on all manner of topics.

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

That’s a serious pumpkin stash @Britinme and what a view!

Looks fantastic, @Britinme !

Beautiful view and it sounds like a perfect day, @Britinme .

I was thinking about you too @duc748 and couldn't remember if you were Wigan or Hull so I was stuck between happy and worried!

I support Hull, having grown up there! So what was the result?

Whoops! I grovel in mortification, duc ... can't even think of an excuse for that, except perhaps that I have a cold.

What beautiful pictures @Britinme ❤️

Idly MNetting recently, I'm definitely getting the impression that some people have become even more bonkers in recent months.

Either that, or the perfect MNetter interrupts her WFH to let weird angry men into her house for several hours, to catch other people's dogs from her garden, else it's her fault if said dog gets injured several weeks later, is unreasonable to object to being shouted and sworn at by furious flooring installers as it is her fault for having done various made-up things to said installer, and despite being heavily pregnant should purify, polish and sterilise her floor before the cleaner arrives to clean it otherwise she is disgustingly slovenly and disrespectful.

Gorgeous photos @Britinme! I would so love to visit Maine.

@Kucinghitam was that the thread about the cleaner taking photos of OP’s dirty floor? People were being horrible despite it coming to light that she lives with several princes among men who leave her with a trail of mess to clean up each day because Culture.

That cleaning up for the cleaner thing was weird. Tidy so that the cleaner can do their job, obviously, but they come in to clean, not to fanny around taking photographs.

Yes it was that thread @VictorianBigot. I absolutely agree that those awful men she's stuck with are the ultimate cause of her problem. Back in the golden days when we could afford a cleaner, we would always tidy before she came so that she could get on with the work, but it wouldn't have occurred to us to also sweep, hoover and mop!

I had a friend from university who lived with men like that. I remember right in the middle of preparing for our exams, her husband invited his parents to stay for several weeks and of course she was expected to do everything for them on top of her already endless list of household tasks. Her husband didn't consider what she was doing to be important. It made my blood boil. She was so unhappy and beginning to take steps to leave him I think.

I can't hoover at the moment as I've unleashed a packet of parasitic wasps to take on the carpet moths.

I read that, and thought exactly the same! It's not a great look to have debris on the floor (but blame whoever left it there, really), but anyway it's a two-minute job with a sweeping brush.

Lovely autumn colours, Brit! We've just driven up to Oxfordshire from Hampshire and the trees are looking gorgeous. Field maple, beech, cherry and sycamore in shades of yellow and orangey-brown.

Re weighing ingredients, I do for jams, biscuits, pastry and suet puddings but not really for anything else. I'm in the long habit of using cups and spoons and find it works fine for I'm making and since I don't make cakes I'll carry on as is.

@VictorianBigot that's reminded me of an extremely nice woman who was on the same RHS course as me. On the morning of the exams she asked me to walk to the loos with her, where she burst into tears and told me that her horrible family were all laughing at her, saying she'd fail and asking why she was even bothering to sit the exam. I felt outraged for her and was very glad to hear that she'd passed, with a good grade too. Why do people behave that way?

Today I'm having another go at muffins. The last attempt was a failure: cardinal sin of the muffins being a bit under-done in the middle. Means they need cooking a bit cooler and slower. I'm also going up on cutter size. They do shrink a bit, and never come out as big as you think they will.

We had a family friend who was rather posh and therefore, as female, under-educated. At around 40, she got herself through A levels and to UCL to read English, and got the highest First in her year. Her husband was always very supportive, but her FIL's reaction when she told him was to say that her MIL had won first prize in the village show for flower arranging AND making a Victoria sponge, "and that's what I call a REAL achievement!"

@Vegemiteandhoneyontoast that's awful. I'm really glad she followed it through, clearly she was more than capable! Quite a few students on my course had been subjected to same kind of views from their families and as a result carried the belief they were thick or not good enough their whole lives.

@VictorianBigot let me know if you decide to make the trip.i suggest avoiding winter unless you like to ski. If you like fall colours,the first half of October is best, depending on the year and the weather. I'll show you round Portland! This offer extends to any other denizens of this thread also,of course.

My cousin, now in her fifties, still thinks she isn't good enough much of the time, but she's one of the loveliest and most hard working people I've ever known and she's achieved so much in life. I've spent a lot of time encouraging her to believe in herself over the years and she's finally starting to realise that, yes, she's good at whatever she does. I blame her father who was a thoroughly nasty piece of work, who ground his family down with constant criticism and violence.

That's what I had to do as I never completed further education. It was hard work, both academically and emotionally, but it paid off because I came away with a First. If I'd told my dad's relatively posh middle class siblings they'd still have managed to find a way to belittle me and undermine my achievement despite not being able to praise their own children's achievements highly enough. In their case, university wasn't for people like me because I'm the child of a working class mother.

Most people who knew me thought I'd bail on my degree (mature student) because I was too flakey to see anything through. I was annoyingly just short of a first and I totally blame the lecturer who did American history. She wanted our essays to basically be a rehash of her lectures. Original thinking, with reading and research to backup it, was marked down. I did two modules with her and second time around I put in essays that as far as I'm concerned were subpar but which got As. My well thought out essays got Cs and as our final grade was based on all our work over three years she pulled me down to a 2:1. Not that I hold a grudge! I went on to get a bursary to study for a PhD. I did bail on that but my mother died and blah.

If I won the lottery - unlikely as I buy tickets once in a blue moon - I'd find another university willing to support me through a PhD for big fees.

@Britinme Wigan won, I'm afraid.

@Britinme Thank you, that's very kind!

I'm having a 'mare with DD1's moodiness recently.

This afternoon's trigger-point is that she has to start packing for a school trip (they're going at the end of this week but we need to check that everything is in order, they can find all the items, there are enough of each item, is there anything that needs to be laundered, etc).

So we'd said to DDs "You should start packing after lunch" - Then I got the suitcases out, DD2 came up immediately with her school-provided kit list, reminded me of all the stuff she couldn't find so I could search for it, got almost everything sorted and even prepared the outfit she'll be wearing on the travel day.

Meanwhile DD1 sat on the sofa staring at her iPad. Eventually I went and reminded her. To which I got all the eye-rolls followed by "What? Why? Pack what? Where to pack it? I don't know what to pack! You haven't told me what I need to pack! What kit list? ..." etc. Bearing in mind that I'd already dug out 2x of all the special kit items thanks to DD2's reminders, so that DD1's packing was going to be a lot smoother!

Finally she stormed upstairs to begin packing. All seemed calm until 5 minutes ago, when she stormed back down - her thermal base layers are covered in cat hair because (the last time they were used and laundered) she had left them on the floor instead of putting them away, so Mochi used them as a bed. I said "Try stroking the fur off with washing-up gloves, then I'll wash them again to remove the rest." The response? Stamping back upstairs while sobbing loudly and copiously.