Thread 15 - TalkLair: “I Can't Lie To You About Your Chances, But... You Have My Sympathies.”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 14).

Autumn seems to have gone straight into winter. It's cold, wet and windy. In the TalkLair, the hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them). The denizens of the lair are a welcoming bunch though, always eager for general chit-chat on all manner of topics.

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

Nah, not for me. I think I'm all Nazied out.

I felt the same about TMITHC duc, though I vaguely remember enjoying the novel.

Yesterday evening, we settled down to do a mega-session of present wrapping (mulled wine, carols playing, etc). Because DH is terrible at wrapping, I usually do that, he tags and organises.

Then DH said he was going to wrap my present, so I went to sit in the next room to wait. And wait. And wait.

In the ellipses, you have to imagine a soundtrack of scissors snipping, sticky tape being dispensed from a roll, and a lot of rustling paper.

"OK" ... "Hmm"... ... ... ... "Even by my standards, this is not looking good" ... ... "I'm not ready!" ... ... "Oh god"... ... "Kids, don't come in here!" ... ... "Why??!" ... "Oh my god"... "Oh god oh god"... "This is going to have to do"... "Ummmm" ... "Oh god" ... ... ...

Eventually he emerged, sweating profusely.

"I didn't really need to tag it - you can tell which one it is, because it looks like it crash landed."

Poor man.

Does he know about always getting a box (independent shops always have discarded packaging and will usually give them if asked) and starting from there? So much easier.

edited to re-insert the one really vital word that I'd somehow managed to delete.

Hilariously, it is a box.

A medium-sized box, approx 8x6x3 inches. The alleged problem was that the box is not a regular right-angled cuboidal shape in all directions. I've been forbidden from touching the present in case it bursts out of its crumpled wrapper, but visual inspection suggests that the box is almost entirely a standard rectangular cuboid, with one sloping side. That was enough to completely flummox him.

DH's entire career is based on detailed understanding of incredibly complex 3-dimensional structures of molecules, angles between chemical bonds, distances between atoms, and how biological macromolecules fold up to achieve said 3-dimensional structures

Bless him! I get a sense that watching his struggles is one of the highlights of your Christmas.

DH's entire career is based on detailed understanding of incredibly complex 3-dimensional structures of molecules, angles between chemical bonds, distances between atoms, and how biological macromolecules fold up to achieve said 3-dimensional structures

But (crucially) never actually having to wrap them up?

LOL

I think you need to install a hidden camera for next year.

Maybe he's just freaked by how big presents are compared to molecules?

My father was a hopeless wrapper and used to pay me or my brother to wrap stuff for our mother - he always gave her a very generous Christmas stocking. She claims that after we stopped because we weren't there, he must have got the dog to do it, to explain the terrible standard.

I avoid all this by using gift bags wherever possible!

Good idea, Brit!

Mr Veg has sausage fingers and he isn't too bad at wrapping things but he practically destroys anything small and fiddly. I once watched him trying to mend something with super glue and it was unbearable, glue everywhere except where it should be. In the end I had to take whatever it was off him and fix it myself.

I am eagerly awaiting news of how the Christmas tree chez @Kucinghitam looks once the cat has had a go at it.

Luckily my cats are too old to care about the tree because it’s a cobbled-together one this year. I couldn’t find the tree stand, and decent artificial trees were horrendously expensive, so I used one I had in the attic that was supposed to be an outdoor tree, a simple spiral plastic thing with lights. I also found in the attic some green and gold tinsel and some large red ornaments and draped it all to look Trish. I think it looks quite good really for a what-you-got-you-put tree.

That works very well.

I like that, @Britinme

I was hoping for a real one as you all know. That came to nowt due to the impossibility of me getting it from not far away up the stairs and in my living room. A cab would probably have worked but whenever I went to Morrisons with the intent of getting a tree there were none and so I gave it up and got a fake tree hoping it would arrive and not be utterly shite. It arrived and I have to say for £20 it's WAY better than I expected. It arrived late today. Well it arrived at 18:00 but the Amazon driver didn't think it necessary to ring my doorbell so I only picked it up from downstairs at 22:00 (after the Wolf Hall finale). I've put it together and I'm enjoying its not badness and looking forward to dressing it tomorrow when I'll take photos.

Hilarious scenes at Moto Towers this morning as an increasingly wide range of screwdrivers, mallets and hammers of varying types were brought to bear in an attempt to open a recalcitrant jar of Bint's apple and ginger jam, dropped off on her recent flying visit. I was dreading the prospect of shards of glass and jam all over the kitchen, but after some persistent grappling, the deed was eventually done without damage or further incident. The jam is, of course, utterly delish. 🙂

These things really work.

https://www.lakeland.co.uk/7706/jarkey-screw-top-jar-opener

It amuses me that 25-30 years ago I bought a variety of things to make older parental hands with weakening grip find it easier to manage, and now I'm using them all myself.

Sorry - forgot to warn you about the vacuum!

I bottle hot, so it's a strong seal. Easiest way with those jars is to grab the tab on the rubber seal and stretch it out sideways until the vacuum releases.

I'll bear that in mind for future reference! I use a few Kilner jars myself, but this one was the toughest yet. The over-centre clip is a marvellous invention, I've always thought.

I need one of those! There's a Lakeland in town so I'll check it out.

Today I'm struggling with the vacuum cleaner, which is being beastly. Got a good amount done and then it started blowing out dust at the back and I realised the filters needed cleaning. There are two, one at each end. I got the one out fine, washed and replaced in short order. The other one is in the cylinder and whilst I managed to open the cylinder to get the filter thing out I'm stuffed if I can get it closed again. I heaved at the lid trying to get it to turn to the closed position, which I couldn't, but then got trigger finger, so had to undo my finger joints in order to let go of the handle and now it's all sitting in a heap in the hall waiting for Mr Veg to step in when he gets home. I think part of the issue is that my hands are simply too small to get a proper grip on the cylinder. Having small hands can be so frustrating.

I have very little in the way of arthritis issues, largely due to steadily sticking to a supplement regime that includes Synflex 1500 (liquid glucosamine and chondroitin, better absorbed than pills) plus two capsules a day each of turmeric and resveratrol. The Synflex takes a couple of weeks to kick in when you start it, but I know it's effective because recently when I spent two weeks in the UK I didn't take it with me because I knew it wouldn't get through in my carry-on and I wasn't checking a case in, and after I got back my knee, which had been pretty free of arthritis for several years, was really starting to play up again. Two weeks later and it's fine. However, I do have a small nagging amount in the base of my left thumb, which makes jar-opening an issue. I just bought a gadget a bit like the one illustrated which gives you a better leverage to open tricky jars.

There's been some sort of Christmas decoration robbery/tragedy/something-edy in my home. I got down my box of decorations this afternoon and thought it felt a little lighter than usual. Some tacky tinsel, no lights, 12 baubles all very basic and to be used for filler other than one special one. That was it. I have no idea where my lovely decorations have gone. I don't recall separating them but there's a possibility that I haven't had my decorations up since I moved here and that my lovely ones, which would have been in this box so it makes very little sense to me, got lost along the way? I'd spent over a decade, possibly 15 years buying at least one, more often two or three special decorations each year so that bit by bit I had a lovely bunch of decorations that meant something to me and they're all gone. I've searched in other places that they would never be but maybe they could be. They are not. I nearly cried but managed to pull myself together. Given the year I've had this is not the thing to lose my shit about!

Oh no - I hope they turn up somewhere they shouldn't be.

I think I may need one of those jar openers. I have a different one that works but that looks like it might be easier.

I have yet to get organised in terms of Christmas decorations and haven’t sent any cards (this is bad of me because my mother’s one remaining friend lives in Bermuda) but I have made a Christmas cake and a Christmas pudding.

I am good at wrapping presents but as yet have nothing much to wrap. I don’t seem to be excelling at Christmas this year!