Stepmum convinced my son to let her shave his hair—feeling upset

[Theritzcarlton]

DS12 has always had long hair that he loved. Over the weekend with his dad, his stepmum convinced him to let her shave it all off. He seemed unsure about it when he came home, and I wasn’t consulted.

I feel like this was a big change and should’ve involved a conversation with me. Am I overreacting, or should I bring it up with his dad and stepmum?

She'll Probably keep Doing his hair now so best you tell her to keep her hands off of you don't want her to

Do you think she’ll keeping buzzing it? And

@Theritzcarlton - if she's not picked up on it now then yes, I suspect she'll do it again when she wants to, she'll talk him into it again.
What have the school said? Some schools are strict on hair, I doubt it would be allowed at my kids school, albeit my DS12 has more of a collar length floppy hair cut. He once had a shorter haircut when he was about 9, my DH took him and my son asked for a hair curlier my DH (shorter and spiky-ish) and he was really affected by it because he hated it so much, maybe I'm a bit more precious but he, even now, is really 👿👿 ensuring his wants are heard by the barber - I have to tell them to layer it and give it a good trim as his hair grows fast, thank gooodness

Why do you think she wants/wanted to buzz it?

I would go absolutely batshit. She had no right whatsoever to do that. What is wrong with her? I'd be making it absolutely clear that she is never to do that again. He's not her child. How dare she.

I think at 12 it’s his choice about the length of his hair. I know you say she coerced him, but it depends if she offered pizza for dinner or a brand new iPhone. If it was a really big reward them I think it’s a bit mean as he would obviously choose it over hair but if he let her do it for a Big Mac it’s a bit different.

But surely she should not be coercing or bribing a 12 year old child to shave his hair off? It's utterly bizarre behaviour. It's not her place and as other stepparents have said on this thread, she has totally crossed the line. What has his hair got to do with her and why on Earth would she think it was OK? It sounds like it was designed to cause the exact reaction that it has. I'd be raging if this was my kid.