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Original poster

I am trying to stay positive-but life just feels bleak. Anyone else?

123 replies

TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 09:23

I live modestly, 2 bed house in the north-but my salary is gone by the first week with how much everything has increased in price lately.

I earn £32k P/A for four days. I am far over qualified for my role but I have been applying for jobs constantly and not got anything. Salaries also seem so low-one job I looked at would get me £2K more per annum but it involves a commute-I currently work from home, the travel costs plus having to hire someone to walk my dog means it just wouldn't be worth it.

I share 3 BTLs with a business partner but profits are minimal, we made a loss last year due to a tenant ruining a house and us having to repair it.

I have been out of my profession for a while (I retrained doing something else) so that's probably why nobody is interested-scholarship will have moved on now. Fingers crossed someone gives me a chance in a higher-paid role.

I split with a long distance partner some time ago-when I got this house I'd only just began seeing her and our plan was always for her to move in-but she'd just strang me along, had no intention of actually doing it. She also lost interest in me once she started doing a hobby two years ago, so didn't want sex with me any longer and didn't want to spend time with me as she was more interested in that (suspected ASD). I wrote a thread about our situation at the time.

I live alone, and everything is so expensive. I had a lodger for a while but she lost her job and stopped paying her lodgings so had to go. I didn't like living with someone else who wasn't a partner anyway, but it did help financially.

I try to keep going. I run, walk my dog, go to a gym that costs £20 per month.

I have an MA and a lot of experience and I have things going for me but things just seem so difficult and I don't see how I'll get out of this slump. A higher-paid, more interesting role would help so I guess I can't do anything other than keep trying. I am also doing a course to get another qualification which may help. I just feel that any more knock backs or if anything else goes wrong, and I'll struggle to keep smiling.

OP posts:
Notmanyleftnow · 07/10/2024 09:27

I'm sorry you're so stressed and struggling.
Is your mortgage very expensive? Wondering if sharing your outgoings would help as people might be able to suggest cut backs you could make.

Notmanyleftnow · 07/10/2024 09:28

To me, it sounds less like a financial issue and more that you don't mention anything in your life's bringing you joy?

speedmop · 07/10/2024 09:42

how old are you?

speedmop · 07/10/2024 09:42

move in to one of the BTLs

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 09:46

Not much is bringing me joy you're right. I felt I had a future with ex DP but that's gone, which did take a toll on me. Other than the temporary joy a bottle of wine brings me of a weekend and being out and about in nature most days with the dog (albeit alone when I thought I could share with someone).

My mortgage is cheap-£380. Bills are very high however. I have been dipping into savings but haven't much left. I am lucky to live in the area I do.

I can't move into a BTL-it isn't that simple anyway, changing mortgages over etc and my business partner wouldn't allow it. Plus they're more expensive to live in than the house I have now.

I am in my early 40s.

OP posts:
beasmithwentworth · 07/10/2024 09:49

I understand that you feel bleak but you do have options that a lot don't. It's just a case of planning.

I don't have any BTLs but I do have a spare room in my house that I let out. I know you didn't like having a lodger. Nor do I in theory but I need the money. It's £700 a month that I wouldn't otherwise have which helps enormously.

It's about getting the right one. My current one has only been here a month and she's fantastic. She enhances the mood of the house (I have 2 teens which can be tough to crack but they already love her) .. in fact she had gone on holiday for 2 weeks and I am missing her presence.

I know you have a bad experience but another one (the right / reliable one) could really help out until you manage to find a job that's better for you financially?

Mostunexpected · 07/10/2024 09:53

Is there the possibility of selling one of the BTLs? Or your business partner buying you out? Then you could use that capital to pay more off your mortgage and bring down outgoings

speedmop · 07/10/2024 09:54

what’s your equity in the three BTLs?

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:01

I will think about another lodger, thank you. She was perfect on paper as she had two jobs and was someone I knew through others. She lost both jobs within a couple of weeks and stopped paying not long after that.

Prior to that I had a different one who didn't work and just hung about the house all day, which I found very difficult. He wanted to be involved in everything I did, too and gave his opinions on everything I was involved in. Think he thought he was my husband!

My business partner wouldn't want to sell or buy me out-I do all of the admin for the BTLs, he wouldn't have a clue on his own. It is something to think about I guess, I could put it to him but they're an investment-or should be, for the future which I'd not like to let go. I will think about it.

OP posts:
speedmop · 07/10/2024 10:05

speedmop · 07/10/2024 09:54

what’s your equity in the three BTLs?

?

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:16

Sorry, missed that response-I'll have to work that out! Don't know off the top of my head and am working currently.

OP posts:
speedmop · 07/10/2024 10:20

TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:16

Sorry, missed that response-I'll have to work that out! Don't know off the top of my head and am working currently.

and you deal with all the admin? 😦

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:25

I do yes. He does nothing at all, never has! At first-he put in more £ than I did but I have since paid him back, so at first that was his reason for not doing anything. But I still do it all now. I don't mind really, it isn't a lot of work.

OP posts:
speedmop · 07/10/2024 10:27

TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:25

I do yes. He does nothing at all, never has! At first-he put in more £ than I did but I have since paid him back, so at first that was his reason for not doing anything. But I still do it all now. I don't mind really, it isn't a lot of work.

yes but my point is… the person doing the admin and managing has no idea of equity in the properties, which is baffling!

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:30

I ask our broker periodically but I'd have to search for an email. I own another house along with someone else too (sorry didn't mention that in the OP). May be baffling to you-I have everything written down but not stored in my head.

OP posts:
speedmop · 07/10/2024 10:34

TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:30

I ask our broker periodically but I'd have to search for an email. I own another house along with someone else too (sorry didn't mention that in the OP). May be baffling to you-I have everything written down but not stored in my head.

why do you need to ask your broker?

All you need to know is how much outstanding
how much the property is vaguely worth

🫤

speedmop · 07/10/2024 10:35

so 4 BTLs?!

OP… i think you need to find out equity and maybe sell one!

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:43

One isn't a BTL as such, it is residential but my ex rents a room in it (as a lodger from friend I owe it with).

Please don't imply that I am stupid. It isn't helpful. I am not great with numbers generally.

OP posts:
StevieNic · 07/10/2024 10:43

It’s so hard how expensive everything is now, how crap wages are. It’s not your fault and allot of people are feeling this way. Your salary is quite typical I know allot of people on around the same.

Our mortgage is £1200, childcare £1000, weekly shop hundreds. It’s nuts. I’m trying to think of more free or cheap things I can do with my son and partner. My sister has taken up growing vegetables which has become such a rewarding hobby for her, I might try that when I can afford some planters.

Literally the only people I know who aren’t struggling are older (so bought their house cheap and have years of savings) or have had loads of money gifted from family.

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:43

speedmop · 07/10/2024 10:35

so 4 BTLs?!

OP… i think you need to find out equity and maybe sell one!

I couldn't' sell unless I took business partner to court as he'd definitely not want to do that.

OP posts:
StevieNic · 07/10/2024 10:46

Reading all your messages I’m confused about how somebody who owns multiple properties and had a very low mortgage payment, is struggling so much?

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:51

I don't take any money from the BTLs (other than legitimate expenses for them). I guess just bills and food etc expenses are huge. I don't have any expensive TV packages etc, I drive an old car, I have a dog.

OP posts:
WhitegreeNcandle · 07/10/2024 10:53

sorry to hear you are struggling. The BTL situation sounds rather complicated to me.

You are only working 4 days a week. Whilst looking for a full time higher paid role I’d be working two days a week in a second job. Something fun like a pub or a restaurant or something I like doing. Or do a shift at a supermarket so you get a discount as well.

Especially working from home. I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping busy and seeing people. Build yourself a community of real people.

Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:53

StevieNic · 07/10/2024 10:43

It’s so hard how expensive everything is now, how crap wages are. It’s not your fault and allot of people are feeling this way. Your salary is quite typical I know allot of people on around the same.

Our mortgage is £1200, childcare £1000, weekly shop hundreds. It’s nuts. I’m trying to think of more free or cheap things I can do with my son and partner. My sister has taken up growing vegetables which has become such a rewarding hobby for her, I might try that when I can afford some planters.

Literally the only people I know who aren’t struggling are older (so bought their house cheap and have years of savings) or have had loads of money gifted from family.

Thank you. I guess I feel a bit like I've failed at life now. I did have a fulfilling job but was made redundant in 2022. I feel that how hard I worked to qualify should mean I should have more and not struggle but the reality is a lot of people are in the same boat.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBunnyLover · 07/10/2024 10:57

WhitegreeNcandle · 07/10/2024 10:53

sorry to hear you are struggling. The BTL situation sounds rather complicated to me.

You are only working 4 days a week. Whilst looking for a full time higher paid role I’d be working two days a week in a second job. Something fun like a pub or a restaurant or something I like doing. Or do a shift at a supermarket so you get a discount as well.

Especially working from home. I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping busy and seeing people. Build yourself a community of real people.

I have actually looked at doing bar work recently, trouble is they all seemed to want availability for any shift, and I'd have to only do set days (where I was off work). I have asked work to increase my hours too but no availability currently.

I do do some freelance work but things are very flooded in that market (therapy).

OP posts: