I am trying to stay positive-but life just feels bleak. Anyone else?

[TheBunnyLover]

I live modestly, 2 bed house in the north-but my salary is gone by the first week with how much everything has increased in price lately.

I earn £32k P/A for four days. I am far over qualified for my role but I have been applying for jobs constantly and not got anything. Salaries also seem so low-one job I looked at would get me £2K more per annum but it involves a commute-I currently work from home, the travel costs plus having to hire someone to walk my dog means it just wouldn't be worth it.

I share 3 BTLs with a business partner but profits are minimal, we made a loss last year due to a tenant ruining a house and us having to repair it.

I have been out of my profession for a while (I retrained doing something else) so that's probably why nobody is interested-scholarship will have moved on now. Fingers crossed someone gives me a chance in a higher-paid role.

I split with a long distance partner some time ago-when I got this house I'd only just began seeing her and our plan was always for her to move in-but she'd just strang me along, had no intention of actually doing it. She also lost interest in me once she started doing a hobby two years ago, so didn't want sex with me any longer and didn't want to spend time with me as she was more interested in that (suspected ASD). I wrote a thread about our situation at the time.

I live alone, and everything is so expensive. I had a lodger for a while but she lost her job and stopped paying her lodgings so had to go. I didn't like living with someone else who wasn't a partner anyway, but it did help financially.

I try to keep going. I run, walk my dog, go to a gym that costs £20 per month.

I have an MA and a lot of experience and I have things going for me but things just seem so difficult and I don't see how I'll get out of this slump. A higher-paid, more interesting role would help so I guess I can't do anything other than keep trying. I am also doing a course to get another qualification which may help. I just feel that any more knock backs or if anything else goes wrong, and I'll struggle to keep smiling.

comparison is only of any use if it helps you identify what you want to work towards. The thinking needs to change too, that old fashioned mindset that life or careers are linear, and that we should be x by a particular age. None of the people I know of all levels of career and life success have it all or don't have problems.

@TheBunnyLover it sounds like you've had a difficult time over the past couple of years with a relationship breakdown as well as being made redundant. They are two big life events and I'm not surprised it's knocked you a bit.

I can totally see how you are asset rich but cash poor. I suppose what you need to do is focus on the positive regarding the properties that you will be sorted financially in the long run.

In the meantime, you do sound a bit low. I'd say that isn't surprising given your age.... prime time for peri menopause and recent setbacks with work and your relationship. I agree with a PP that this is a prime age for reassessing things.

So, financially..... obviously keep an eye out for other jobs but in the meantime can you ask again about increasing your hours at work? Or look for something one or two days a week? My local Tesco is always recruiting for part time vacancies, often just a few hours a week. Or at least perhaps think about volunteering one day a week? I listen to children read at a school for a couple of hours one day a week but there are food banks, charity shops etc. I do think volunteering can help when you're in a bit of a rut as it is a reason to get out and about and see different people.

You'll be just fine OP, I promise. I think sometimes you get to the point where you need to shake things up a bit. It doesn't need to be anything monumental. Get a new haircut, read a genre of book you wouldn't normally choose, try a new exercise, find somewhere new to walk your dog, listen to an interesting podcast etc. Just get yourself out of your comfort zone a bit.

I can't access the equity in the properties

you are part owner of 4 properties and sole owner of the property you live in op

Are you saying the two other owners would refuse to sell one of them?

I guess it is more that my job doesn't pay enough for day-to-day living.

no dependents
you own 5 (5!) properties
Very low mortgage
and I try to keep going. I run, walk my dog, go to a gym that costs £20 per month.

Do you have a big credit card debt? because otherwise it is baffling that you see this as bleak

what do you do on your day off and at the weekends?

How did you get to buy those properties given your salary?

good point

the op has five properties to her name

the banks would have been a touch remiss not to have considered affordability!

Am I missing something here, you feel like you've failed at life but you have 4 BTLs. Surely if you're struggling then the most common sense thing to do would be to sell one. There's no point having money tied up in 4 houses if you don't benefit from it. If you can't afford a holiday then do something about it. Life is for living.

Yes agree ☺️
some people have much less than that !!!

4 BTL and owns the home Op lives in

so 5 properties to her name!

OP I’m not saying that 32k is an amazing salary, but its fairly average, and I don’t know your full expenses, but you have a low mortgage, no children, no commute, no fancy car nor expensive holidays, and sounds like you don’t go our partying every weekend - so what are you actually spending your money on that’s leaving you so short?

Secondly how much do you have invested in the BTLs and what is the business plan with them? You shouldn’t have to sell all of them to release some cash for you

Clearly the lodger wasn’t a good fit, but maybe another one would be. And the extra money would clearly help.

A temporary lodger or student lodger sounds ideal because you know there is an end date.

You mention tutoring before. Could you pick that up for GCSE/ a level students.

I think it’s hard maintaining a property on your own especially on a part time wage, so you need to increase it some way. There will be students coming back now who need places I’m sure.

This has really helped, thank you. I am still upset about the relationship as it takes me some time to process things, and I really thought I'd have a proper relationship withher. All sorts went on including abuse (not physical, more like blowing hot and cold, lying, stringing me along, verbally abusing me in public to her friends, exposing me to some types of danger (long story but she has a family member whom I have recently learned to be a rapist), no intimacy.. It was horrible.

I do keep nagging work and I pick up shifts where I can. I have also tried to get more out and about with the dog, I do like doing that, I just didn't envision my life consisting of a 'one man and his dog' situation for so long!

My business partner wouldn't want to sell. The other house I own, co-owner lives in it and wouldn't want to move.

I guess just realising that I do not get paid until the last day of the month and I was in my savings not long after pay day due to everything that had gone out. Plus I am back to being single, my house needs work doing, I spend most evenings alone unless I take myself off to the local pub (but that costs money too), I see my friends/peers coupled up-I have a feeling I'll just die alone. No other family really-my Mum who's great but that's it.

Guess I just envisioned a totally different life-partner here with me, having love in my life, two incomes, being able to do things and be together... Not struggling for money and being lonely with no direction in a boring job... I am whinging now I realise.I know things aren't so bad.

My business partner earns high which is probably a lot to do with it.

My day off I used to freelance tutor but that's ended now. I'd like to do something like that again. Now, I just use it for catching up on housework and paperwork, freelance clients (1 or 2 that day) gym, try to get for a longer walk with the dog somewhere, appointments. Weekends are pretty much the same although I don't finish work until late on a Friday night. I did used to horse ride on a Sat morning but it's just too expensive.

I sometimes go and visit friends in different towns for nights in/out or other activities. I am going to see a friend very soon who lives in a lovely place. I do wish I finished work at a normal time on a Fri-I don't feel I can ever get away for the whole weekend or do much on a Fri night for that reason.

I don't own any of them solely (apart from the one I live in).

One isn't a BTL-It's residential but the other co-owner lives in it, and my ex lodges in it. I don't make anything from that one-ex just pays my half of the mortgage to lodge there.

I definitely need to work this out. I can't figure it out myself really. I might have to sit down and do the whole 'income expenditure' thing.

We did plan to expand and buy more but the market is so unreliable at the moment. They're a long-term investment rather than anything else.

I am definitely finding it very hard. Not just £, but maintenance and keeping on top of everything.

The reason my ex left me is not helpful either (she chose her sport/hobby over me). This did have an effect on my self-worth for definite.

I couldn't wrap my head around why you'd choose that (which she could've also done here anyway!) over love, marriage, companionship, but she did and ultimately that's my issue to deal with.

Tutoring is a good idea, I really, really miss doing it. I just can't find anything at the moment.

I'm another one that really doesn't understand why you seem to be in such a poor financial position, given your apparently low expenses.

Where is the rent from the rental flats going to? Presumably some of it is being spent on BTL mortgages and expenses, and that has been bad luck if a tenant has trashed a place, but overall with several properties and over a broader time span you should still be making a bit of profit from those and if you're not it sounds like there are issues.

I'm concerned when you say you are not good with numbers and not sure of things the equity without having to look this up. These are figures that most BTL landlords could bring to mind a reasonable estimate for immediately when asked.

Could your business partner for the BTLs be exploiting your arrangement in some way?

^This!

Where exactly is all your money going?