Ever met someone you later learned had done something really bad? **Content warning: thread contains mentions of child abuse**

[user2848502016]

Just asking because a few months ago someone I worked with suddenly stopped coming to work... then we found out he had been found guilty of possessing child porn 😬
He hadn't been working with us for long so didn't know him that well but he just seemed like a nice, slightly boring middle aged man! I know you can't ever tell by looking at someone but it just made me think anyone I know could be doing anything behind closed doors.....

Thread titled edited by MNHQ to add a content warning

Children do not have the capacity to make and consent to porn. Therefore these were images of child assaults not ‘child porn’

I lived next door to someone who did time for a sex offense. I was only young and I remember my mum telling me he was in hospital when I asked where he was.

Is she still your friend?

My childhood best friend, her brother, tried to murder his mum and attacked the neighbours in the process. He’s in a psychiatric hospital indefinitely.

Heavens came here to say I knew a couple who got done for burning down their own house for the insurance but after reading the thread I wouldn’t call it “really bad”.

Similar. ‘Normal’ middle aged man at work, turns out he’d hidden cameras in the ladies loos. Thankfully not the ones I used.

TBF to the posters using it, it is used in courts still and on official documentation when talking about charges so you can understand why people use it, it also just means explicit sexual images/content, nothing about consent etc.

"bias" in what way?

Are you suggesting that he'd deliver everything with a pro-murder slant?

Or perhaps that having personal experience of the penal system might warp his opinion?

I think most people who lecture are capable of keeping personal politics and views separate, or at least offering an "in my personal view" caveat before delivering their opinion. They are just human like anyone else, but I don't see any reason why he would necessarily be unprofessional at work. He's lecturing in a subject he's qualified to lecture in, not lecturing in "the terrible thing I did decades ago".

I can see why they might have employed him, because part of my role involves scrutinising enhanced DBS returns before we employ. Sometimes the police decide that something just isn't necessary to disclose because it's in no way relevant to the role, and even with Enhanced DBS, anything that is disclosed is not always a bar to employment. Most routine stuff is expunged after a while anyway, so you won't necessarily find out everything about someone's history in any case.

A murder conviction will always be there, but again, I don't see why that would be any more of a bar to lecturing than it would be to working in a pub, or a supermarket, or collecting bins, or...

The conductor of a youth orchestra I played in was later charged with rape and indecent assault of several girls aged between 12 and 16 dating from around the time I had been in the orchestra. There were rumours at the time that he was "going out" with an 18 year old in the orchestra. Absolutely horrifying that he was abusing those girls. And if the 18 year old thing was true that was an abuse of power too and completely inappropriate.
The day before he was to go to court for his trial he threw himself off a cliff.

I also knew a priest who groomed and abused a boy over a period of four years starting from when the boy was 12. He went to prison still protesting his innocence the whole time and claiming that they hadn't had sex until the boy was 16. At the time the age of consent for gay sex was 18. There was no acknowledgement that he had groomed and abused the boy and then raped him. As far as he was concerned he'd done nothing wrong. Disgusting man.

Earlier in my teaching career, late 80's I worked with a great teacher who had a murder conviction as well as some minor crimes, he served 14 years before getting out and gaining a degree and going into teaching in the days before DBS

His offences stemmed from gang involvement, drug dealing etc as a teenager, came from the same inner city streets our pupils came from, and he was excellent at both dealing with their issues and talking their language to get them on a better path.

Someone I had a lot of time for, and who was truly repentant and trying to make a difference.

@Another2Cats, it was really shocking. He seemed really nice. My mum was used to visit a lot of old people's homes as part of her work for her church, and people there would comment that he was the best GP to have as, unlike others, he was always willing to do home visits!

An ex got done for sexually abusing his teenage stepdaughter and went inside. His wife stood by him, and not step daughter (her daughter). Made me wonder whether they thought she made it up.

when I dated him, I was 17 and he was mid-20+ (not unusual in 80s), but perhaps he liked girls that age…

Another gentle person, whom I always felt was respectful that I was younger than him!

Loving this thread

Had a very brief relationship with the perfect man - feminist, intelligent, funny, solvent, caring, very engaged in political issues.

I was heartbroken when he ended it out of the blue.

His ex before me had been contacted by his ex wife who he had never mentioned to anyone, to warn her about his long history of domestic abuse.

The ex girlfriend, who had been beaten and emotionally abused by him, threatened to name and shame him on social media, so he dropped me and did a bunk.
The ex girlfriend and I had a very random string of friends in common and someone put 2 + 2 together about our stories and she contacted me.

The abuse his ex wife suffered still makes me want to vomit when I think of it. She is lucky to be alive.

She and the ex girlfriend are both convinced he will kill one of his partners but so far he’s managed to skate being arrested because his incredibly wealthy parents, who make a household favorite food item, throw money at the victims or at solicitors to intimidate the victims, whist he continues to be a social justice warrior feminist online.

Yep. My ex is doing life. Lucky fucking escape.

A lucky escape for you @Over40Overdating . What isle would this item be found in the supermarket?

My geography teacher in high school left quite abruptly, was put about that he objected to the school becoming grant maintained. My dad was a governor and I found out years later he'd been molesting male pupils.

A few years ago we had a guy in to paint our ceilings who was subsequently imprisoned for a mercy killing of his wife. We've still got his ladders.

"... and on official documentation when talking about charges"

Really?

Both the Criminal Justice Act 1988 and the Protection of Children Act 1978 speak of "indecent photographs". There is no mention of "pornography".

Charges are made in terms of either possession or making of indecent images or indecent photographs. There is never any mention of "pornography".
.

"...it also just means explicit sexual images/content, nothing about consent etc."

A child under the age of 13 cannot consent to any sort of sexual activity.

@MarmaladeJars Someone pointed out the use of the term in one of the first replies - others have subsequently replied and educated the OP and others. Isn't it just virtue signalling for us all to reply and say "we cannot possibly let this go unremarked we are horrified" when the point has been well made? I see no benefit to everyone repeating the point and I'm surprised you feel it's 'disappointing and alarming'.

Particularly as OP likely wasn't aware of the issues with the term. It was a clumsy use of a phrase that used to be common rather than a genuinely horrendous comment about victims - it's only been in recent years that there has (rightly) been a focus on it.

My boss was lovely. Spent years studying to become a teacher and was so happy when he left for his first teaching job. Wasn't long until he lost his job after being caught in a chat room that shared child sexual abuse footage. Sickening.
Another colleague was young and silly but I mentored him. He seemed sweet. He had blue lights in his car as his dad was a coastguard. Except it turned out this was a lie and colleague was trying to kidnap young women by pretending to be a cop. He went to prison.

As a teenager in the 90s I went to a drama/musical theatre type thing - one of the other girls was going out with the group leader (only a few years older than her). They got married and she went on to have an affair and murder the wife of her affair partner.

As with other posters, would never ever have thought that of her as she was so timid and quiet! It was all over the press at the time. Children involved too, just awful.

Also, Stuart Hall Granada Reports presenter - came as a VIP guest to our primary school Fayre. Shudder to think about it

Someone I worked with 25 years ago who was friends for the next 19. Jailed for being part of a pedophile ring. He was sharing videos of raping his 4yo daughter.

Needless to say my ex and I do not keep in touch.

Upper middle class, boring sort, family rolling in £££ with a very well respected job.

He was a young cadets leader :(

😳😯

Several times.

I met somebody I later found out had been convicted of attempted murder. He went at a guy with a tire iron.
I had disliked and distrusted him as soon as I met him, so it seems my instincts were spot on. He was just a friend of somebody I knew.

Another was the ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine. Couldn't stand him on sight either, thought he seemed creepy. I later found out he had been convicted of rape.

Another was the boyfriend of a friend of my mom's. I instantly had him pegged as a pedophile. Later it turned out he had indeed been sexually abusing this woman's children.

I worked in recruitment when I was 18. My regional manager at the time was well respected in the company and always polite and professional, albeit there was something cold about him.

One day he disappeared and never came back. It came to light to had stalked a lone 18 year old girl on a night out, took her home and raped her - filming every detailed. He was jailed for 12 years for that offence.

He had children older than the victim. Sickening.