Ever met someone you later learned had done something really bad? **Content warning: thread contains mentions of child abuse**

[user2848502016]

Just asking because a few months ago someone I worked with suddenly stopped coming to work... then we found out he had been found guilty of possessing child porn 😬
He hadn't been working with us for long so didn't know him that well but he just seemed like a nice, slightly boring middle aged man! I know you can't ever tell by looking at someone but it just made me think anyone I know could be doing anything behind closed doors.....

Thread titled edited by MNHQ to add a content warning

I have no connection to Huntley or Carr, but my family knew Jessica Chapman's family. We're still in contact with her aunt. I deliberately tried not to look into the details of the case because it was so distressing. There are other cases that have interested me, although I'm not overly prurient in general, but this one is just too personal.

How shattering. So sorry this happened happened to you. Sending strength

Two boys from my year at school were arrested and convicted of kicking a homeless man to death. One of them was later a major figure in a Guardian article about prisoner education, which talked about how he had had gone bad after being expelled from school aged 13, never received any qualifications and had no chance as a result. He was expelled for beating me up - at least that was the final straw. For a long while after reading the article I felt guilty - if he hadn’t been expelled would he not have committed that crime? However, he held me by the throat against a wall and I couldn’t touch the ground. He was bad before being expelled.

Yes. She was staying in her home town for a few days, so he had time to cover his tracks. He coerced her to lie that she was with him or he might come under suspicion. She didn't know he'd killed them. He kept that secret.

I worked in an office with a seemingly lovely guy called Simon (not his real name). Everyone liked him. He was friendly, helpful and affable. His girlfriend was expecting their first child and he talked about her in fond, glowing terms. We all thought she was lucky to have such an amazing partner.

Then one day Simon didn't come back to work. He had been arrested for pushing his girlfriend's face into a frying pan of hot oil.

You never really know someone

My daughter went to primary school with the young girl that orchestrated the senseless murder of 13 yo Olly Stephen’s in Reading, Berkshire.

We live around the corner and walk our dog daily in the grassland/fields where the murder took place.

Still shocking that this happened there. It’s a nice and safe part of the town. Probably the nicest. For what?

Someone I dated in college did this…he’s not early 40’s with the initial J is he?! (Thankfully not my dad)

Ex family member by marriage, was a paedophile,and went to prison.
Disgusting.
So glad I had divorced by then.
They then offended again, images this time, it went to court,
Bloody embarrasing. I was glad not to share the name.

One that was more a close brush.
Got a job as an art/ craft teacher in a day hospital. A mixture of people with LD, MH problems, physical disabilities and of course a crossover over of conditions for a lot of people. Technical staff were not allowed access to any records, fair enough.
I had to climb stairs to an attic to collect the days materials, often heavy, bulky boxes. The door at the bottom of the stairs was accessed via a games room and I was told to lock it at all times so no one could follow me into the attic. “Sarah” who’d worked there a few years saw me carrying heavy boxes and said take Bill with you, he’ll do the heavy carrying so for the next week Bill went with me into the locked attic. One day another worker saw us emerge into the games room, looked surprised and took me aside. Asked me what on earth I was doing. I replied Sarah said it was ok to take Bill to help. Turned out Bill had served about 9 years inside for rape and Sarah had thought it a great joke to tell me to lock myself in an attic with him. I didn’t stay long after that

Someone I knew was murdered recently. Involved in a dispute in a pub.
They were a really horrible person. I'd had a run in with them once and they had displayed Some unsociable and rude behaviour in general.
Not a nice person, liked a drink also.
When I heard what had happened I really was not at all surprised it was them.

I don't like the language policing on here...Does anybody really think that posters mean that children in the images are consenting, when the term child pornography is used? I knew exactly what was meant by the term cp - images of horrific abuse. Hence the word "child" in the phrase. I do not think for one moment that the phrase cp implies, in any way whatsoever, that the children are consenting. Massive eye roll.

I wonder if it's time to start addressing this in schools, at an appropriate age. Get people talking about these things, about morality when they're young. And social services could step up to take young people out of unsuitable home environments more often. The government should make the internet safe for children too

Here's one I remember that is more accurate to what the OP asked (than my previous):

This is not as dramatic as some, but still.
A sweet woman - who I'll call Sue - joined our team in a venue, years ago. She was super friendly, especially to us younger staff and we all loved her.
Then one shift in the main department, one of the old timers who knew EVERYTHING that went on in the venue mentioned that Sue had told him that she'd left her last job under a shadow because of problems with a colleague. We were all quite gossipy, and me and another colleague didn't rest till we got all the info out of him over the next few shifts we three had together. It transpired that Sue was pretty unstable and had form for stalking, particularly writing poison pen letters. She'd confided in the old timer who seemed to romanticise what she'd done and didn't acknowledge how serious it was - and it seems it had been kept hush hush by her previous company.
Not long after, it came out that Sue had become fixated on one of the managers at our venue, and in particular had started to follow her home at night after their shared shift had finished despite living in a different area. The management were apparently at a loss how to deal with her. I'm guessing Sue ensured that her activities were low key enough to be able to deny it. I moved away at the end of the season so don't know what the upshot was. What was really shocking to young me was that Sue seemed so nice. Definitely not how I had imagined a stalker to be.

Indeed, and the stats for how many women in adult porn who have themselves been sexually abused when they were children is very high.

Kind of. Not malicious, but certainly something bad: causing death by dangerous driving. He got 9 years. He rebuilt his life, and I knew him as an older man who was working as a science teacher.

On one hand, he killed someone. Accidentally, but still. On the other, I'm sure 99% of people who drive have done an irresponsible or reckless thing once or twice, and just been lucky.

I once worked with a lovely woman who everyone got on with. She was so sweet and kind but a little bit dim. She got pregnant with her long term partner and I remember everyone being so excited for her and buying lots of gifts for the baby. She seemed to be so looking forward to becoming a mother. By the time the child was 2 it had been taken into care and both parents imprisoned for severe neglect and abuse. I remember feeling shocked to my core that it really could be anyone. She’d never have been on my radar as someone who would hurt a child.

I love your username.

You win

I've actually name changed for this.

A man I went to university with and was part of my large friendship group during those years. He battered his ex to death with a baseball bat, dismembered her and buried her in concrete in a wheelie bin. He tried for a couple of weeks different ways of disposing her body trying to enlist friends to help him.

He eventually got arrested and pleaded guilty, the friends (who didn't go to the police of their accord) testified against him to save their own skins for perverting the course of justice.

Solid middle class upbringing with loving family, I still can't believe it happened but it did.

Years ago, I got my first job in the city. Met up with a girl from college, who also started her first job close by. So we went out for lunch.
On heading back to work, I looked down, and saw a pay packet on the ground.
Picked it up, no name. And I said, we will hand it in to the police.
Friend said, oh, I’ll give it to my boss, he will know what to do with it.
Ok. Next time we talked, I asked what did her boss do with the money,
Oh, oh, um, he found the owner.
I knew then, never trust anyone.

Very friendly grandfather type who owned a local kid friendly cafe and garden. Lovely guy. Jailed for 15 years for exceptionally depraved sexual abuse of babies and toddlers. his wife and adult son stood by him and when the daughter in law left the son because he insisted their kids still have a relationship with their grandfather in jail the son slagged her all over town and tried to get sole custody due to her apparently unreasonable behaviour. DIL was someone i worked with and she remains haunted by the fact her FIL used to babysit their kids on his own.

You weren't to know. He had form for betraying trust, you were just another of the people he did this to. Sex abusers can be convincingly normal, as we have seen many times on this thread.

I was being groomed by an older male in the family as a teen - managed to get away before anything really bad took place. Outwardly very respectable. I think that changed my views especially about men. I am very wary especially when it comes to DS e.g. child minders when he was little. He is hopefully aware of red flags and have told him that he can tell us anything (esp if someone asks him to keep secrets).

Years ago when I was a single mum I got very friendly with another mum (ex army) Her dc were the same age as mine. We saw each other most days until she moved away with her hysband. Years later I was at work & the 6 o'clock news was on. The mum I knew was on it for shooting her dh pregnant girlfriend.
Where I used to live had a chippy down the road & my eldest dd worked after school hours. He was divorced & would often disappear at the back & leave dd on her own. Turned out he had tons of child abuse pics on his laptop. He went to prison & shortly after his release got re-arrested for the same crime. To make matters worse he lived in a flat facing the local park.

I've met plenty of people who readily admitted to doing something bad in the past. The ones that shocked me were when they seemingly suddenly turned on me and got violent when there was no past history or red flags.

I've not known anyone convicted of child abuse to my knowledge, but a man I knew used to boast about having sex with a 15 yo when he was in his mid 20s. He even wrote a self published book describing this grooming/abuse.
Obviously I never ever spoke to him again after he said this. The book turned up years later.

Some people are fucking sickos.

Someone I knew, his mother was Dutch. As a child she was in some kind of Hitler youth group. This was known before she got dementia.
At the end of her life when she was in a home with dementia she started saluting and "seig heiling".
Awful for her children and the nurses.