To think joining the PTA was a big mistake?

[PTAstandsforPainInTheArse]

I've been a member for a couple of years, Chair for a year and now I'm just miserable with it. We are actually a "friends of" rather than a pta as the teachers at some point, refused. Which is fine, they certainly so enough in my eyes.

There's 10 of us in the committee, 3 are standing down, 2 never respond to messages, and everything just seems to be a battle.

I feel like I'm doing everything from uniform sorts to organising discos, all the documentation needed, battle with the school with what they will and won't let us do as we can't do anything involving sweet sales or cake sales.

Now I've just had a message about something that I was pretty sure someone else said they were sorting but apparently they're not.

Parents moan about everything but don't bloody volunteer!

Why do I bother?

Is every other one like this too?

I want to give up but seeing as I'm going to be at the school for another few years, I thought it would be a good thing to do!

Urgh!

The school wants to be a healthy school so we can't give away Easter eggs at Easter for competition prizes, no tuck shop at the discos anymore, we used to do the smarties box coin collection but are not allowed to give out chocolate, no sweet sales, no cakes sales. And it would be such easy money!

I'm kinda on board with the cake thing due to Natasha's law as I wouldn't want anyone getting ill on my watch but then I also think, if you're not sure don't have/buy/eat the cake but some people expect the world.

If only! I'm a sahm! I'll have to get a job to escape!

Well done for doing it, there's a lot of misconception about PTAs and the people that are in or run them. I was chair for six years and it was pretty stressful at times. We raised a similar amount to you each year.
Towards the end I outsourced a lot of stuff due to lack of volunteers. I never did anything with uniform, I didn't want the responsibility of sorting through it and finding storage etc so I always refused that side.
We also had a good relationship with our local pub and we used to buy all the food for fairs and they'd offer staff for free to come in and do the cooking, which was so nice - in return we'd promote them on all of our posters to show their involvement and how they supported the community.
I used to do the music and lights at discos but ended up finding it easier to just get a dj. Discos were ok because generally people want to stay with infants anyway, juniors was more tricky!
It's a huge job, I stepped down this year because I couldn't fit it in any more. There is so much stuff that goes on behind the scenes, licensing, raffle organisation, Santa gift wrapping, fair rotas, finding stall holders, costco trips etc- if you don't have a good group behind you then it's a lot.

I ended up doing it because the previous chair had no support and just left at the agm one year. I wouldn't blame you if you did it, if the school and parents want events then they need to step up and help. We're just volunteers, often with full time jobs, the only way to do it well is to divide the responsibilities, I am so relieved I'm not having to do it this year, but I do feel for you!

Yes our school is always doing this but my poor DD can never take part as she has severe allergies. Does p me if a bit tbh as she feels so left out. I have made cakes she can buy - but she knows I've made them so it's not the same - she doesn't have a choice of any cake like others do. I end up taking her to the corner shop to buy sweets in a labelled packet, to make up for it. She does feel excluded though, so it's tough for her.
I was on the PTA for a while but my goodness, never again. I admire anyone who can do it tbh.

@HelgaGPataki yes, all the paperwork, licenses for this, that and the other! It's draining especially when no one seems to know anything but only has a vague idea about some law we must be abiding by which I then to ensure we're doing it right.

And that's why you don't join the PTA! They tried to recruit me once - it's like a cult and the only reason the other women were in it was because they wanted all the "inside gossip" from the teaching staff etc
Send your child to school and crack on with your work/life don't be sucked in by people with too much time on their hands. It's very cliquey and generally not used to benefit the school/kids.
If you've ever watched Bad Moms you'll know!

@RareitySparkles why aren't you allowed near your autistic dd?

It has been said before, but most parents would be delighted to pay £20 in September in exchange for not hearing from the PTA again for the rest of the year, or having to participate in any fundraising events.

@PTAstandsforPainInTheArse As a parent I hated the Smartie challenge. It could have been just our overly smug PTA but they insisted on £1 coins in it.

Absolutely ridiculous and several parents complained and they suddenly backtracked very fast.

In my view, I would have preferred to pay £20 each term and be over it. We did generate really good money with Bonfire events and a large Summer fete every two years and I do know how much work goes into those. And I was always happy to pay for food, tombola, cake etc.

Still, the attitude of the PTA was a big reason not to help out.

Haha this a perfect example of the misconceptions I referred to in my post.

I feel guilty I did so little but I literally had no time to attend meetings. I helped out at events where the request or the allocation of tasks was not at a meeting. Or in lockdown they started holding some meetings online and I took part in meetings / organizing events because then I didn’t have to find childcare. I bet there are more people like me who don’t mind being asked to do things but can’t go to bloody meetings. That’s my tip to worn out pta people: don’t call it “joining the pta”, open comms to everyone without making them go to meetings, and ask people to make tangible small contributions that they can at times they can

There’s a good business opportunity for someone here - to set up and run PTAs professionally so schools don’t have to rely on volunteers. Parents can, say, pay £50 a year membership and all ‘activities’ are included, or you can pay £5 at the door per event.

They'd have great economies of scale, a service level agreement with each of the schools, and pay x percent of the profits to them. They would be contracted to run, for example, a disco for each year group, a Christmas shows and parties, school fair - with the obligatory fire fighters and Star Wars characters - annual clothing sale, termly family evening curry and quiz etc. Tickets, payments, subscriptions, etc. would all go through an app. Events would be properly marketed and staffed…it could be a great little moneyspinner.

💯 this^
OP please don't feel guilty.

It was before my time but I think it was 20p at our school

Right, but it’s not misconceptions when it’s several PPs’ lived experiences is it?

My children went to a very mixed demographic school and the PTA was made up of the Yummy Mummy clique. That’s not a misconception, just a fact. I wasn’t going to volunteer for something where I was going to be sneered at.

And if your daughter became ill because of a mistake, I would genuinely be so upset and i feel thats a lot of responsibility to put on a volunteer!

I know it's not nice but I would rather your dd went without rather than risk being ill, my dd is allergic to peanuts so I do know your pain.

I think our PTA will fold in the next 2-3 years. The really active committee members all have kids well into the junior end now, and it’s only ever the same parents helping at events (I always sign me and DH up to help at the big events and help out at whatever else I can, but I don’t have time for the meetings admin right now). the real mystery seems to be parents joining at the younger end and not understanding that they need to roll their sleeves up too - the PTA doesn’t exist just to entertain the masses.

our PTA has had a bit of a hard time from the junior parents too in the last couple of years, but they also haven’t been transparent about how much has been raised at each event and what it is spent on. That seems to be changing, and I hope that it gets better. The PTA do refuse some of the asks from school though which leads to further funding requests from school. It does feel like I’m haemorrhaging money to school at present.

Yes that's a good idea but parents would say why pay when people can volunteer and then not volunteer 🤦‍♀️

When I started on the committee, I didn't know half the things they'd actually paid for in the past so I made it more open showing parents past achievements and spenditure otherwise what's the point of doing all this work if parents don't know why?

I was never a chair, couldn't handle the politics, but was often class rep, in the committee and ran the second uniform shops and sales in both primary and secondary. Just from the shops we raised about £8k a year. Always got volunteers for the sales, as they got first dibs!

The thing that broke me was the prom committee. There was an incident with the leader, I left in tears, and never volunteered for anything again!

The small (private) schools we were in regularly cleared £30k a year. We paid for a toilet block refurb, a new mini bus, and lots and lots of sports equipment, class enhancements, play equipment, tables and benches etcetc

Definitely not a yummy mummy here!!

What do schools spend the PTA money on?

@PTAstandsforPainInTheArse yes so many parents don't realise how much the children wouldn't have if it wasn't for PTAs. I know a lot of people say the whole "I'd just rather pay £50 a year" but it isn't always just about raising money - it's the experiences. Like the Summer/Christmas Fairs for example. It's giving the children an opportunity to attend something that's a bit of fun and a celebration.
So many parents don't realise that it's usually the PTA that puts on the fairs - not the school staff.

@FlatWhiteExtraHot yeah fair enough on the clique part, ours wasn't like that at all, but we certainly weren't not spending our money on the school as implied in the post I quoted. It's generally a thing though that people assume we're all like that and I do think it puts people off, which is a shame! Sorry to those who have had a bad experience, I like to think most of us are just accidental volunteers that got in too deep

In answer to someone else's question, at our school we've replaced most of the playground equipment, bought a sensory tunnel, replaced all the school books - we tend to ask what they need and sometimes we can't pay the whole amount but we'll give them what we can towards it.

@Princessfluffy it will vary school to school but at the PTA I was on we raised money for various things including -
Buying new reading books for the school so they have a regular supply
Bean bags and comfy chairs for the reading corners
Equipment for the playground (footballs, skipping ropes etc)
Toys for nursery/reception as they often needed replacing
Funds for food hampers for parents who were struggling financially (we never knew who recieved these - the money was passed to the school directly)
Uniform fund as above ^
Having theatre groups come into the school for performances
Trips such as seaside trips
Money to put on the Christmas/Summer fairs (which in turn raised more money)
Presents for Santa's Grotto
Prizes for games at fairs
Easter Eggs for egg hunts
Seeds and gardening equipment so the children can grow things
A cooking fund so each class can have a cooking session
And probably more.....