To think joining the PTA was a big mistake?

[PTAstandsforPainInTheArse]

I've been a member for a couple of years, Chair for a year and now I'm just miserable with it. We are actually a "friends of" rather than a pta as the teachers at some point, refused. Which is fine, they certainly so enough in my eyes.

There's 10 of us in the committee, 3 are standing down, 2 never respond to messages, and everything just seems to be a battle.

I feel like I'm doing everything from uniform sorts to organising discos, all the documentation needed, battle with the school with what they will and won't let us do as we can't do anything involving sweet sales or cake sales.

Now I've just had a message about something that I was pretty sure someone else said they were sorting but apparently they're not.

Parents moan about everything but don't bloody volunteer!

Why do I bother?

Is every other one like this too?

I want to give up but seeing as I'm going to be at the school for another few years, I thought it would be a good thing to do!

Urgh!

Yes, all work, very little thanks and always someone who thinks they could do it better but never volunteers to help.

I did the PTA for my DS1 even though I had a job. It really was a thankless task. Not only the parents who wouldn't volunteer for anything but just complain but from other members of the PTA who were sahm's but would moan if I said I couldn't do something because of work. I really wish I hadn't done it as it's really put me off volunteering for anything really to do with my kids. In the end after a few horrific years 3 of us not only left the pta but left the school and the area. One left the country. We joked that it was the only way we could escape the PTA!

You need more members - then step down.
Organise a 'new parents come and meet us cheese & wine' - get sponsorship from a local deli and local wine merchants and a local estate agent a will service, etc - they are often keen to circulate in schools, and invite all the Reception parents particularly, as well as older parents. Make tickets free esp for new reception parents, or as cheap as possible due to sponsorship - do tickets for £3 includes a raffle ticket for prize sponsored by.... Then go round and ask for volunteers at the event..

Well that just made me feel worse!

@PTAstandsforPainInTheArse

Well done for all that you have done already for your PTA, it sounds like a big commitment!

I’ve had a thought - I hope it’s not too obvious! Is there any chance you could send home a slip of paper with every child in every class from the PTA? Could you say something along the lines of: the PTA are struggling with not enough parent/carer helpers, you all know how much the children enjoy the Halloween disco, the Christmas fair etc. etc. but the PTA are concerned that soon there might not be enough helpers for these events to carry on. Then reiterate how much the children enjoy the events and how much you’d love to welcome more parents/carers/friends/school staff to help. Maybe emphasise that you would appreciate volunteers even if they can’t help regularly, as you need both PTA members (regular volunteering) and one-off or irregular volunteers to help with events such as the Christmas fair etc.
Also, I don’t know if this would work in your school, but I wonder whether you could drop in at a school staff meeting and briefly discuss that you’re concerned the PTA is at risk of closing and being unable to run events like the school discos etc. Say you know how much the children enjoy the events, and you could ask the teachers, TAs, meal time assistants, cleaners, IT technicians etc. if anyone feels able to volunteer even a little bit, such as 2 hours twice a year for the Christmas and Summer fairs (for example).

Again, well done for what you’ve done so far for the school community! Just remember to have some time for yourself too so you don’t burn out 🙂

To echo a pp - ask for specific help.
Eg - 1 hour on a Christmas stall, helping Santa, tidying up after Halloween disco etc.
People are more likely to help when they know they aren't volunteering their life away.

Thank you, I/we did raise a huge amount last year.

I've certainly felt a other people pull away since about half through last year.

Hello - fellow PTFA Chair here!
I'm lucky that our core PTA members are great (5 of us in total) & the Head & school are super supportive; but it can feel thankless at times especially when it's only ever the same faces helping out despite new parents joining the school.
We're very lucky that either parents don't complain or it never gets back to me!
You've done amazing from the sounds of things so if you're ready to stop then do; as OPs say maybe give them notice for January to give them chance to replace you & get through those final events.
Unfortunately for our PTA I'm losing 2-3 of my core committee in less than 2 years; by which time it'll just be me & 1 other. At that point we may have to fold if more don't step forward. I'm really hoping by then I can step down as I'm now in my 5th year as Chair & I'm certainly losing some of my enthusiasm & energy.
& btw of Head & teachers are super appreciative of what we do & raise.

We have significantly streamlined the events we are involved in, due to a lack of help. We’ve dropped refreshments from some School events and it’s much more pleasant. The PTA helpers can actually enjoy the events rather than running around filling teapots. The parents don’t panic that they have to bring their wallets. I think you can find a happy medium OP.

I don't expect the teachers to help but there are 2 events each year where they do help with a bit of ushering at first then slowly disappear which I more than happy with. They certainly do enough and I would never do what they do!

@3teens2cats I also disagree that the amounts raised isn't very much.
The PTA I was on did an after-school cake sale every half term (so 6 times a year). We often raised £300 just from one sale. So that's £1800 just from the cakes (we did several other fundraising events too).
@PTAstandsforPainInTheArse don't feel bad for wanting to step down. You've done your time. But you aren't the only parent at the school.
I enjoyed my time on the PTA very much but I did get very frustrated about the lack of help.
There was often complaining about "why didn't we do this or do that?" - well because it wasn't suggested or organised by the people that wanted it.
It's someone else's turn now. Step away 🙂

The amounts raised by PTAs varies by tens of thousands of pounds so it's true that in some schools it makes very little difference whilst in others it has a huge impact. My child's Christmas fair alone (at a school in an affluent area) raised three times the annual amount raised at the school I work at (a school in a not so affluent area).

I had the same experience as a school governor. Under appreciated and left fielding complaints from people who wouldn’t helo with anything themselves. It amazes me that schools rely on so many volunteers to run, both governing bodies and the PTA for extra events and funds. They’re all outdated models though, left from the days of stay at home mums with time being the norm.

I work in a school and our parent group has disbanded. Thank god. They were the most entitled bunch of women whose expectations on the teachers and office staff were unreasonable. We are up to our eyes in the office and ended up being interrupted constantly, for printing, finding furniture, advertising, banking, loading tickets etc etc. they were a nightmare. Yes, raised money, but such a slog. Our principal isn’t keen to get one started again.

we run our own fundraisers now, ask for parent help.

I also work in a school and the PTA funded most of the books for the new reading scheme so I am sure your school is grateful.

I’d resign, but sort the Christmas stuff. you’ve done plenty and it’s thankless.

Urgh. I’m so sorry OP - the Autumn term is ALWAYS the worst PTA term!

Are there no other enthusiastic parents you could rope in? New reception ones? Sounds like you need fresh blood

I attended the new parent meetings, got loads signed up for the helpers group yet I'm still struggling for helpers.

We do weekly newsletters, have a fb page, the WhatsApp group and people share stuff in their class groups too. Word gets out, help just doesn't come in!

I need the popular mums, so a prosecco night might be in order!

@3teens2cats when my kids were at primary we had a promises auction and raised £5000. That was definitely worth doing.

Thanks to all of you for responding though. It's made me feel better that it's not just my one and that I haven't single handedly run it in to the ground!

We certainly need fresh people in the committee and hopefully our agm will pull some in next month.

Seems some pta groups do raise a lot of money. Our school did not I'm afraid.

I don’t complain about our school and would much prefer not to have a PTA or friends of. The lady who runs ours is very intense boarderline rude and I run a mile from her. She has an air of self importance and seems to think she’s better than everyone else. I call them the PTA mums and it’s a little click.

If I could just donate £20-50 at the start of the school year it would suit me fine.

We raise about £10k to £12k a year.

That's great. You've done your bit. It's fine to resign. Not all groups are as successful, though, and not all pta members behave in a way that doesn't get people's backs up. It's a case of some groups really giving ptas a bad name. Some may not realise that constantly asking school staff to do things is a bit annoying. Not saying that's you, but like I said, that is my experience.

You're doing an amazing job, but you need more volunteers.

We used to have a 'class rep' from every class to welcome new parents and go to PTA meetings. You could put a notice in the school newsletter asking for a rep from each class. You could say you just want someone from each class to come to a meeting about the Christmas fair.
If you have a meet and greet for new reception parents you will hopefully find some people who want to make new friends and get involved with the activities. Also if the school runs welcome events/intro evenings for new parents that's a good chance to advertise the PTA.

All those people who say "I'd rather just pay £50 at the start of the year and not be involved" - well, go on then - I'm sure the PTA would be very happy to receive the cash and take you off their mailing list, but then your child would miss out on the social events that the PTA puts on (we used to have a school disco, Christmas fair, Summer fair, book sales, bonfire night party and more which my kids loved going to).

Of course, if it's making you miserable then do the activities that your kids enjoy. If people want other stuff, they can organise it!