Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

"My uncle Billy had a 10 foot willy and be showed it to the woman next door.
She thought it was a snake and cut it with a rake and now it's only 5 foor 4".

"Postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ran over his cat.
Postman pat was crying, blood and guts went flying
Pat will never drink and drive again".

Aunty Mary had a canary
Up the leg of her draws
When she's sleeping
I'll be peeping
Up the leg of her draws.

The cane for blasphemy?! Ouch.

Ha! Yeh that was our version. 70s SE London

Our postman pat one was

Jess the cat, jess the cat, jess the cat ran over pat. All the guts went flying, jess the cat was crying, he'd never seen a pat as flat as that..... there was another verse aswell but can't remember all the words.

Sussex 90s. Uncle Billy lost his willy

In the version I knew she put him the sandwiches when the vicar came to tea😮

I remember it from primary school, and that was early 60s. But all I recall is "Jingle bells, Batman smells...", can't remember what punch-line we used.

Wow, thanks - Is this set to a particular tune?

@BibbityBobbityToo My husband sang the last one to me last week! I had never heard it before 😂 He took great pleasure in teaching me a new song 🤣

Same! Nottingham though 😊

We sang the version in OP in 1980s Berks.

He farted through the keyhole and paralysed the cat.

We sang Kojak lost his lollipop and found a Milky Way or on the M6 motorway.

Northwest 70s.

Hitler has only got one (ball)
Goehring has two, but very small
Himmler
Has something sim’lar
But Goebbels
Has no (balls)
At all.

Yorkshire, late 1950s. We didn’t sing the words in brackets, we just left a gap, because we knew “ball” was a rude word. At 6 I wouldn’t have known why it was rude, though.

Edit - I see @CaveMum has posted something very similar. It’s to the tune of the Colonel Bogey March.

Didn’t Lance Corporal Jones (Clive Dunn) start to sing it on Dad’s Army, but Captain Mannering used to stop him?

Or am I mixing that up with Pike singing:
Whistle While You Work
Hitler is a Twerp
He’s half barmy
So’s his Army
Whistle while you work
in the “Don’t tell him, Pike” scene?

What a good thread this is.

Me 80’s NW Liverpool way
Jingle bells Batman smells, Robin flew away, the bat mobile lost its wheel on the motorway hey!!
DH who’s NW Manchester knew it as uncle Billy.
Also we had
Jesus Christ Superstar, coming round the corner on a Yamaha. Pulled a skid, killed a kid, smashed his balls in a dustbin lid.

Did anyone else sing (To the melody of Scotland the Brave)

”Here comes the Highland Granny,
Two big tits and a hairy fanny…”

can never listen to the melody without that running through my head 😂

Remembered another one:

twinkle twinkle chocolate bar
our dad drives a rusty car
pull the lever, pull the choke
off he goes in a puff of smoke
twinkle twinkle...

This one interests me because the line about lever/choke suggests it's quite old - when did cars stop having chokes (what exactly IS a choke even)?

Same but M4 motorway (Wales, 1980s)

Uncle Billy lost his willy in the 80s. I was at a British forces school in Hong Kong and we were singing that version then :)

Jingle bells Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The bay mobile lost a wheel
And the joker got away
HEY!
Primary school south east 1990s for me

😅🤣, I remember this one

This

70/80s North West

i remember my little brother coming out of school about age 6 or 7 singing

5 4 3 2 1
my granny bought a gun
she pulled the trigger and shot her knickers
half way up her bum

I haven’t heard it but Kathy (Cathy) sings this with “great big tits and a hairy fanny”.

we also had:-

in Germany where they hang you by the dick/prick and draw dirty pictures on the walls, when your mind goes blank when you’re dying for a wank and the rats play snooker with your balls.

Courtesy of Darren aged 8 or 9 late 70s SE London. Best friend of my little brother.

Our car had a choke late 80s. It was a little thing you pulled out to give the car a bit more fuel to get it started if it was struggling to fire up. Under no circumstances were you to leave the choke out or you'd 'flood' it and it wouldn't start at all.