Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

I see the Hitler one has its own Wikipedia page.

He married an Italian
with tits like a stallion
And the hairs on her dicky dido
Came down to her knees

Sorry can’t remember the rest. Near Stoke in the 70s.

Some of them were really racist / blasphemous! Almost to the point where I’m reluctant to share…

Hitler only has one ball
? has two but they're too small,
Himmler is rather similar.
But Dr Goebbels has no balls at all.

A song that the boys sang, can't remember the verses, but the chorus was something like

? bang, balls and all against the lavvy walls,
We want our monies worth

When I was very young on school trips singing
Stop the bus I want a wee wee
Stop the bus I want a wee wee
Stop the bus I want a wee wee
A wee wee drink of juice

Oh you cannae shove your granny off the bus
Oh you cannae shover your granny off the bus
Oh you cannae shove your granny
Cause shes your mammies mammy
Oh you cannae shove your granny off the bus

Scotland 1970s

Billy appeared in a different rhyme for us (west mids in the 90s)

my best friend Billy had a ten foot willy
and he showed it to the girl next door.
she thought it was a snake
so she hit it with a rake!
and now it’s only 3 foot 4

I thank you.

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
and one with a fairy light on
to light up the way

I can’t remember any more, or even how it starts

My first car had one in the late 90s. To be fair it was an old and terrible car.

God I used to drive a car with a choke. I am not that old!

My uncle Billy had a 10ft willy and he showed it to the lady next door
She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it's 5f 4

Do you know that one?

@DoTheDinosaurStomp aha cross posted with you! Glad I’m not the only cultured one 🤭

Uncle Billy for me lol (se England late 80’s into early 90’s). I think there was a less rude but still funny version as well (possibly the Batmobile lost its wheel one or a variant thereof).

There was a really long one with lots of verses. Went something like -

Honey you can't love one,
Honey you cant love on,
You cant love one and still have fun,
Honey you cant love one.

Honey you cant love two,
Honey you cant love two,
You cant love two and still be true,
Honey you cant love two

And so on.

I’d forgotten so many of these! But I can’t be the only one to remember:

we are the welshy girls
we wear our hair in curls
we wear our dungarees
up past our sexy knees

there was a boy next door
he paid me 50p
to go behind a tree
and get it on with me

my mother was surprised
to see my stomach rise
my father jumped for joy
it was a baby boy

Also, I never heard it at school but the “whilst shepherds watch” ones are making me think of Owen in vicar of dibley

whilst shepherds watch their flock by night
all seated on a bank
the angel of the lord came down
and taught them how to…

I grew up near(ish) Edinburgh and we sang this in the 90s. Well, it was just "on the motorway, hey!" but close enough

@miltown he really does, I vaguely remember a very rude version of the teddy bears picnic where uncle Billy was sucking his willy.

Lots of these sounds very familiar. We did the
'he jumped from 20,000 feet without a parachute" and I think the next verse was " he landed on the runaway like a lump of strawberry jam".

We had a different Hitler one too
Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is in the Albert Hall,
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Cut it off when he was small.

There was also one about meatballs
"on top of spaghetti
All covered in cheese
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody sneezed
It rolled off the table and onto the floor
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door".

My name is Diana Dors, I'm a movie star
I've got the cute frilly knickers and the see-through bra
I've got the hips, boom, boom
I've got the kicks, boom, boom
So why don't you love me so?
Comma, comma, dash, dash, flash, flash

It was a clapping song and there were actions that went along with hips, kicks and flash... We would sing this in the early to mid-80s, long after the heyday of Diana Dors.

I suspect Batman and Robin got grafted in to a lot of pre-existing rhymes as it's easy enough to do with 2 syllable names: Ip dip do, Batman's got the flu, Robin's got the measles, so out goes you.

Cars now have automatic chokes.

Yes, pretty sure it was 1981 here in the Midlands when DD2 was in lower primary.

We also had one that started with "There was a wee man from China town..." I won't continue.

Good king Wenceslas looked out
Of his bedroom window
Silly bugger he fell out
On a red hot cinder
Brightly shone his arse that night
Through the frost was cru-el
Off he went at speed of light
To cool it in a poo--oo-el

Postman Pat Postman Pat
Postman Pat ran over his cat
Blood and guts went flying
Postman Pat was crying
Have you ever seen a cat as flat as that!

And

Zippy and Bungle went to the jungle
Zippy got silly and pulled out his willy
Bungle farted an argument started
and that was the end of Zippy

South West 80s/90s

Jimgle Bells
Batman smells
Robin flew awaaaayyy
Kojak lost his lollipop
And found a Milky Way