Christmas when all the children are grown up.

[PuppiesLove]

The usual Christmas was waking up to lots of presents under the tree. I don't think this is appropriate any longer, now they are all adults. It's just not necessary to be buying that many gifts anymore. So - what does Christmas look like when all the children are adults? How do you change things? Ideas for new traditions?

Following as I have continued Xmas as if they are still children: stockings, presents under tree1, then presents under the tree in the dining room after lunch. DS is 28 and DD is 20 and they love Xmas!!!!

It doesn't have to be about quantity does it? Can't you just still put presents under tree and unwrap them together? Or maybe agree to dispense with presents but do something. Ice together, like a trip to see a musical or something?

I'm in my 40s now and my parents have had GC for 20 years but before GC came along my DB and I still loved having our stockings and presents under the tree!

If your children are adults can’t you all have a discussion about how you’d all like Christmas to look going forward?

When we were 'grown teens'

Christmas eve - 11pm carol concert
Home to peel potatoes & sprouts, bottle of wine and gossip before bed

Christmas day, Lie in, fabulous breakfast, presents, put the bird in the oven, take the dogs for a walk.
Then home to eat, board games, film, music, more food.

Or you could book at a gorgeous hotel and let someone else do the work, although v expensive.

Panto
Christmas market trip in November - we are going to Ely cathedral Christmas market
Making gingerbread houses
Playing/singing Christmas carols

Champagne and smoked salmon breakfast: secret Santa ( with wanted list) so everyone gets one good present : board games and charades: a good walk. Laughter and love.

We kept the old routine going until ours were about 27/24 and then our mothers got frailer and it's all more difficult.

We are going out for lunch this year. I am so excited.

I think I'll get some new board games. Everyone likes those. Generally I just think everyone likes a relaxed Christmas with nice lunch.

I do think the quantity of presents needs to change though. It's still like they are little kids, which they aren't. I think a few gifts, a nice lunch and some games will suit everyone.

I do like the idea of something like this, though one being vegan might make it difficult to find a place to cater that.

I keep Christmas pretty much as it always has been, when my adult kids come to me (and did when they still lived with me).

Another vote for secret Santa. We're quite a big family and we all give/ receive 1 present valued around £30, rather than all spending loads or receiving tat!

Santa came to me until after my first DC was born and I had to gently say to my mum that that should probably stop before the DC were old enough to understand.

What's your opposition to the pile of presents thing? Is it financial or about the effort that goes into organising it all or is it just a feeling of what "should" happen? I don't think it needs to stop but obviously if you can't afford it or it isn't reciprocated/you feel unappreciated then that's different.

When we were adults pre kids Christmas was presents in the morning, family visiting, a walk, dinner with lots of wine and then ruthless insults over boardgames with yet more wine. We all had a brilliant time.

We don't have much family around. They buy a gift for each other and for us (1 each, perfectly good). Then we usually buy them 8-10 gifts each, depending on what was on their list. Should adults be giving their parents Christmas lists anymore? I think it probably needs a rejig to be more adult to adult Christmas. We maybe just get them three things, which I know isn't equal, but it's not about equal - just what makes more sense with adults? It seems silly to get Christmas lists and large numbers of gifts for adults still. They all have income, unlike kids who need to wait for special occasions to get things they want.

I just think it seems a bit odd to get Christmas lists and lots of presents for adults. It's like staying in parent-kid mode when it should probably be more adult-adult mode now. They have incomes so buy themselves things. They aren't kids who have to wait till Christmas or birthdays to get things.

I had a stocking until I left home (aged 25). It was my favourite bit!
After that it became turn taking between my parents and us hosting and we had DC in that time - presents still go under the tree though. Always opened them after lunch though.

Now my parents have hit their 70s they have started coming to us, our DC are young teens.
Essentially its the same celebration, just a different venue and now my turn to do the proper hosting!

The only nod to the children getting older is that we don't take them to see father Christmas any more, we go to the panto instead.

I do think as an adult it's more appropriate to have one quality gift, rather than numerous gifts. You could do secret santa? So no one knows who's bought theirs.

How old are they? 18 or 25? What was your budget in younger years? I think a stocking is still nice and doesn’t have to be expensive and then a lower budget for other presents. We budget £250 per child and I certainly don’t plan to do that amount when DC are 20 plus.
Board games, a family film, a walk; I loved Christmas as an adult with my parents

DH and I spend Christmas Day just the two of us and our adult Christmas goes along the lines of

Indulgent breakfast with Champagne.

Then we’ll take a classic car and drive to a local pub for a drink or two. There are lots of car enthusiasts around here and some well known spots so it normally ends up as an impromptu car show with friends (DH doesn’t really drink until lunch as he’s driving before anyone asks).

Late lunch back home is the traditional roast turkey with all the trimmings and DH sets the Christmas Pudding on fire.

After lunch we open presents and fall asleep watching a film.

Then In the evening it’s turkey sandwiches, a cheeseboard and a couple of games of backgammon or one of those pub quiz type games.

All between 20-30. I usually budgeted about £200 per child, but realistically spent more than that. I guess if I buy some new games for Christmas Day I won't count that in any budget.

Just seen your update, yes it's smaller gifts between adults (my parents/me). Usually clothing, small pieces of jewellery, books, sometimes even spices for the kitchen!

I think my mum budgets about £50-£60.

She had that chat once I was earning full time (aged 18) and my disposable income out stripped hers.

I don't think at a certain age you switch off to Christmas do you . I'd carry on as normal unless someone specifically said don't buy me any gifts .

Switch off, no. Do it differently, maybe.

We still buy a fair few presents and all give each other Christmas lists. I think the key thing is make the Christmas you want to have now.