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Scared of dentists since assault

117 replies

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 14:29

I'm sorry, this will be a very long post. This happened a few years ago so it’s too late to seek justice, although I tried at the time. However, it is the most violating thing anyone has done to me and still affects me every day.

I saw an orthodontist for advice about my bite which was uncomfortable after treatment with braces elsewhere. An upper canine was in an awkward position and hitting hard against my lower teeth. My retainer was very painful to wear and I wanted to get a new one, but also wanted to ask if the canine could be moved to a more comfortable position. He told me that this would be resolved by shaving off a “minimal” amount of my enamel. I didn’t like the sound of it so I said no, but I asked him to make me a replacement retainer. He brought it up a couple more times and I kept saying no. We agreed that I would come back for the impressions to be taken, and while I was leaving he mentioned that he’d clean some glue left from a previous fixed retainer at the back of my teeth. I had told him I’d had a retainer which was removed and so was the glue, but I thought he meant there was a speck left or something.

I ignored the red flags – he was dismissive, borderline rude and kept insisting that my tooth should be shaved. But I thought nothing bad could happen by just getting a new retainer. I thought I was safe because he was a director at a practice owned by a well-known brand. I’m quite naïve and I always assume that people are honest and can’t imagine why they’d lie.

At the next appointment he said he’d have to first remove glue from the backs of my teeth. I said I didn’t want any of my enamel to be removed. He said, “No enamel will be removed. I’ll use a tool that can’t remove any enamel”. I’d had glue removed from my teeth several times before and there’s never been any issues so I agreed. He started from the opposite canine to the one that was causing me problems. Halfway through I thought this didn’t feel right because he was moving the drill up and down the whole backs of my teeth, not just in a specific place where there could have been a bit of glue left. I just stared at him, I didn’t know what to do. When he got to the problematic canine he pressed hard, making 3-4 vertical lines top to bottom, then a horizontal slash at the end of my tooth. Only then did I realise he was drilling into my teeth but it was too late. When I felt the backs of my teeth they were no longer smooth, they were all scratched and the canine had deep cuts into it and was thinner and shorter than before. I told him, you removed my enamel, he said no enamel was removed, there was a lot of glue there. I told him he had no right to do this but he kept denying. I realised that the dental nurse had spent the whole appointment with her back turned to me. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do, I also had to go back to work.

The next day I called my dentist and they gave me an appointment that morning. It was a new dentist that I didn’t know. She took photos of the backs of my teeth then pointed at the yellow lines on them and said that that’s where enamel had been removed. I was still very upset and blurted out something like, “send me a copy of these photos, I’m going to sue him”. She looked taken aback, she said, “But it’s nothing, just a bit of enamel”. When I finally got the photos they were so blurry that none of the damage could be seen, and only less than half of the canine was shown. I guess no amount of blurring could hide the damage so they had to crop the picture there.

I filed a complaint to the orthodontic practice which started a long email chain between me and the man who assaulted me. He changed his story, first claiming that a tiny amount of enamel may have been removed but he hadn’t noticed it. Then he insisted that no enamel could have been removed and that he must have not removed all of the glue and I should go back to him so he can remove the rest of the glue and prove it to me. He said I could go to any of his colleagues to do that if I preferred. He contradicted himself in other ways. He also included a one-page essay on how common and benign it was to remove enamel and how he’s done it to thousands of people on hundreds of thousands of teeth.

I then reported the orthodontist to the General Dental Council who regulate dentists in the UK. They got “independent” clinical opinion, which just completely sided with the orthodontist. They stated that he had used the correct instrument – no information given how they concluded that. They said that I had consented to my enamel being removed because I had consented to the removal of glue and that had the risk of removing some enamel. But the amounts were so small that he didn’t have to ask me for my consent. They closed the case and ignored my emails asking how they came to their conclusions.

I’ve spent thousands on therapy since then and I’m still not ok. It’s ruined my self-confidence, sense of safety and trust in people, especially doctors. It feels very isolating, I wish there was a support group for what I experienced but I haven’t been able to find one. The damaged areas of my teeth are still sensitive every day, I can also feel their uneven surface and that’s all very triggering. I now avoid dentists, having previously always gone twice a year and been a very calm patient. I now make myself go once a year but I have anxiety for weeks ahead of the appointment.

Thank you for taking the time to those who read the whole thing. I’d be grateful for any advice on how to heal or how to trust dentists again.

OP posts:
SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 15:36

Cantbelievethatimafoolagain · 30/09/2024 15:29

I would get a medical lawyer to help. If you're still getting pain/sensitivity after 5 years because of him then that's not right. My sibling has dental problems due to dentists ruining their teeth.

I think it's up to 2 years if you want to take legal action so it's too late for that. Plus I don't think I would want that. I just don't want him to be able to hurt others, and I've already met someone else who described him as a "monster".

The reason I told the NHS dentist that I was going to sue is I'd just talked to a (not very good) councillor from my EAP who urged me to get my medical files and sue. It wasn't something that I was planning to do, but I did look into it afterwards.

OP posts:
biscuitandcake · 30/09/2024 15:41

MissEsmeWatson · 30/09/2024 15:21

Yes, of course it's a big issue, you told him several times not to do it, he went ahead and did it anyway (possibly after telling the nurse to turn away), and I'm so sorry OP. It's made me so angry on your behalf, and it beggars belief that people here think it's ok, to the point of gaslighting quite honestly.

Yeah,

I have a friend whose parents were super strict with sweets as a teenager because every time she went to the dentists he found more cavities that needed drilling and filling. It turned out years later he was actually drilling perfectly healthy teeth to make more money (not just her, it was a whole scam). She felt somewhat vindicated that she hadn't been at fault for sneaking sweets/sugary drink as a teen. But her teeth are now weakened with filled holes that didn't need creating in the first place.

Maybe assault is an overly emotive word. But if you ask a dentist to do something and they do something else it isn't right enamal doesn't grow back.

JellyBeanFactory · 30/09/2024 15:42

Gymmum82 · 30/09/2024 15:33

As someone who has been sexually assaulted and violated I can assure you that having some of your enamel removed is neither of those things. Please stop using such emotive language to describe an issue that is neither assault nor violation

I'm so sorry @Gymmum82
As someone who is supporting someone else who too has been violently assaulted, I hear you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

biscuitandcake · 30/09/2024 15:44

Gymmum82 · 30/09/2024 15:33

As someone who has been sexually assaulted and violated I can assure you that having some of your enamel removed is neither of those things. Please stop using such emotive language to describe an issue that is neither assault nor violation

Sexual assault is only one kind of assault though. I wouldn't get annoyed at someone who had suffered ABH or GBH for example for describing it as assault because some people are sexually assaulted and sexual assault is a worse form of assault.

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 15:45

Gymmum82 · 30/09/2024 15:33

As someone who has been sexually assaulted and violated I can assure you that having some of your enamel removed is neither of those things. Please stop using such emotive language to describe an issue that is neither assault nor violation

I am sorry for what happened to you. This is not a competition and I never said that I was sexually assaulted by this man.

However, he did cut my body with a sharp tool after I said no multiple times, which is physical assault. And I did find it incredibly violating and I'm still traumatised by it because I can still feel the cuts. Just because you wouldn't feel violated by this or you've been through way worse doesn't make my feelings less valid.

OP posts:
Nannyoggapple · 30/09/2024 15:45

Gymmum82 · 30/09/2024 15:33

As someone who has been sexually assaulted and violated I can assure you that having some of your enamel removed is neither of those things. Please stop using such emotive language to describe an issue that is neither assault nor violation

If someone damages your body physically with a drill, it is assault.

My friend recently was in hospital, and a nurse physically did something to her, while my friend was saying no.

My friend also refers to this incident as "assault".

As we all know by now, just because they are medical professionals doesn't stop some of them from committing crimes.

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 15:52

Nannyoggapple · 30/09/2024 15:33

I feel like something similar happened to me.

I went into get a white filling on a front tooth (commonly called a cap).

He put the cap on.

Then Without asking me, or even telling me what he was doing, he began to drill at a completely different tooth for ages, and drilled the enamel off at the bottom of the tooth, until the tooth was much smaller

I trusted him and let him do it, as we are taught to trust dentists and expect them to take care of us.

I came out and he has really ruined the whole look of the tooth.

I wonder If some dentists do damage to teeth, so we have to go back in and pay more, and use their services more.

Not all, but some may do it

I'm sorry that this happened to you. I think it's very common for dentists to just assume that you're OK with whatever they decide to do, instead of explaining and asking for consent.

I think they forget that just because their opinion is that doing something is the best course of action, it doesn't mean that's necessarily the case. The patient should have the opportunity to say no and get a second opinion.

OP posts:
muggart · 30/09/2024 15:53

OP is it possible it was an accident and that some came off when he was getting rid of the glue?

I really sympathise. Bodily autonomy should be sacrosanct. Just because someone is a doctor or dentist doesn't mean they can override consent. I'm just wondering if it was a mistake, which could happen to any of us, and if so you might feel better if you know it wasn't intentional.

Bignanna · 30/09/2024 15:54

OP can you get an independent report on the state of your teeth ?
My husband had what a dentist said on the invoice was reconstruction to several teeth, although he never discussed doing this. I looked and saw they were in fact very quickly done superficial fillings, and cost several hundred euros. Despite him not wanting to make a fuss, we went back to the practice, had them examined by another dentist who agreed with us, told his boss who refunded his money, and suspended the dentist. This was in Spain. All other dental treatments with other dentists were fine. Don’t let this go, you need to get this sorted.

BunnyLake · 30/09/2024 16:02

biscuitandcake · 30/09/2024 15:41

Yeah,

I have a friend whose parents were super strict with sweets as a teenager because every time she went to the dentists he found more cavities that needed drilling and filling. It turned out years later he was actually drilling perfectly healthy teeth to make more money (not just her, it was a whole scam). She felt somewhat vindicated that she hadn't been at fault for sneaking sweets/sugary drink as a teen. But her teeth are now weakened with filled holes that didn't need creating in the first place.

Maybe assault is an overly emotive word. But if you ask a dentist to do something and they do something else it isn't right enamal doesn't grow back.

This happened to me too. My teeth are basically filled shells now because as a child they were drilled and filled every time I went to the dentist. Always brushed my teeth, never had toothache, went every 6 months so no reason at all to fill them. I became terrified of dentists. My kids are adult now and haven’t had a single filling between them. We were conned year’s ago and I’m pretty sure it became quite a scandal. All for money of course.

I’m sorry OP that this has happened. I don’t really have any advice other than to see if there are any dentists who have a reputation for being kind and gentle to anxious patients.

CucumberBagel · 30/09/2024 16:05

As usual, idiots here looking to put the boot in.

I'm so sorry this happened. Can you contact a medical negligence solicitor?

fussygalore118 · 30/09/2024 16:08

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 15:21

I'm sorry but that's not what happened and you weren't there. You didn't see my teeth afterwards that looked like they'd been scratched with a nail. And why did the dentist send me super blurry and cropped photos? Why are my teeth hurting over 5 years later and I can still feel the deep cuts on the one he reduced?

Honestly if the damage is as bad as you described then it would be noticeable by another dentist and would hold up under complaint.

I think this is ridiculous over reaction here and there must be something deeper causing this reaction.

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 16:13

muggart · 30/09/2024 15:53

OP is it possible it was an accident and that some came off when he was getting rid of the glue?

I really sympathise. Bodily autonomy should be sacrosanct. Just because someone is a doctor or dentist doesn't mean they can override consent. I'm just wondering if it was a mistake, which could happen to any of us, and if so you might feel better if you know it wasn't intentional.

I don't believe that there was any glue on my teeth. The glue had been removed previously when the fixed retainer was removed, there was a tiny speck left next to my gum that I could feel with my tongue. He removed that speck at my first appointment.

When I came back for the impressions he told me he needed to clean some glue from my teeth. I couldn't feel any glue but I trusted him because you're supposed to trust dentists, I guess. I mean, look at the majority of people commenting, they think I'm either lying or mistaken, because apparently dentists would never harm you on purpose?

Anyway, the retainer, that was held by the glue, had been right next to my gums, that's why it had to be removed. So any residual glue would be at the very top. Except he drilled my canine (that he had tried to convince me to have reduced) from top to bottom, then made a vertical slash to remove the bottom edge of the tooth. No way was he removing glue.

OP posts:
SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 16:21

fussygalore118 · 30/09/2024 16:08

Honestly if the damage is as bad as you described then it would be noticeable by another dentist and would hold up under complaint.

I think this is ridiculous over reaction here and there must be something deeper causing this reaction.

Sure, that's what I thought and the damage was confirmed by my NHS dentist and is in my notes. Except that the photos that she took which clearly showed the damage then mysteriously drastically decreased in quality.

OP posts:
ThePlumsOfWilfred · 30/09/2024 16:22

Regardless of whether or not you're overreacting about the original experence, OP, I think the question is valid "How do you learn to trust another dentist again when you feel like your trust was betrayed last time?".

I would find a dentist that specialises in nervous patients. I would explain the bones of what happened before so that they understand that consent is extremely important to you and that you might need to take things very slowly at first and be explained everything very clearly so you know what you are consenting to.

If they confirm they are able to work like that, then stick with them and try to develop a trusting relationship. You may need a few more apts that other people or may need longer apts, just so you can take it at your own pace. But that's something you and your new dentist can work out.

hillroad · 30/09/2024 16:22

i don’t believe there was any glue on my teeth

but actually but I thought he meant there was a speck left or something.

fussygalore118 · 30/09/2024 16:25

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 16:21

Sure, that's what I thought and the damage was confirmed by my NHS dentist and is in my notes. Except that the photos that she took which clearly showed the damage then mysteriously drastically decreased in quality.

But surely you can have new pictures taken?if the enamel has been damaged) removed it won't repair itself, so new pictures can be taken?

muggart · 30/09/2024 16:25

@SmallMexicanChihuahua I believe you. Some people are corrupt and arrogant and willing to override consent either to make money or simply because they think they know best.

I think for your sake you need to either look into a medical negligence lawsuit or leave some shitty reviews on Google and their FB page and then choose to move past it. It's not that you're wrong to be upset, but at some point dwelling on this is only harming you.

You can search for a new dentist and tell them outright that transparency and consent is very important to you after a previous dentist performed unnecessary work and caused lasting damage, which resulted in a prolonged investigation into malpractice. I think that would be enough to make them know they can't mislead you. You can also take a friend to appointments with you and inform them that you will make audio recordings of any conversations about treatment options. Make sure you directly ask them about risks involved in each procedure.

Arraminta · 30/09/2024 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 16:31

hillroad · 30/09/2024 16:22

i don’t believe there was any glue on my teeth

but actually but I thought he meant there was a speck left or something.

I thought you were bowing out?

At the time, before he drilled my teeth, I thought that there could be glue on them, even though I couldn't feel any with my tongue. The reason for that is that I trusted him and couldn't see why he would lie to me.

After he drilled my teeth, with a benefit of hindsight, I don't believe that there was any glue.

Makes sense?

OP posts:
SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

And I'd love to live far from people like you who enjoy kicking others when they're down. Unfortunately, you seem to be the majority.

OP posts:
changedusernameforthis1 · 30/09/2024 16:37

I'm sorry you were treated this way, OP.

Years ago I had a horrible dentist experience too and it's left me with a dental phobia. I spent years avoiding dentists until I desperately needed treatment, but I panicked so much that my dentist referred me to somewhere else where I was sedated which worked amazingly well.

I can now have check ups calmly but any mention of treatment and I need sedating again.

I really hope you can get some help with this and maybe sedation too if necessary.

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 16:40

muggart · 30/09/2024 16:25

@SmallMexicanChihuahua I believe you. Some people are corrupt and arrogant and willing to override consent either to make money or simply because they think they know best.

I think for your sake you need to either look into a medical negligence lawsuit or leave some shitty reviews on Google and their FB page and then choose to move past it. It's not that you're wrong to be upset, but at some point dwelling on this is only harming you.

You can search for a new dentist and tell them outright that transparency and consent is very important to you after a previous dentist performed unnecessary work and caused lasting damage, which resulted in a prolonged investigation into malpractice. I think that would be enough to make them know they can't mislead you. You can also take a friend to appointments with you and inform them that you will make audio recordings of any conversations about treatment options. Make sure you directly ask them about risks involved in each procedure.

Thank you for your kind words and this is really good advice. Do you mean I should inform the dentist that I would be recording them, do you think any of them would be OK with that?

OP posts:
TealQueen · 30/09/2024 16:41

My opinion is you were assaulted, and I really don't think there can be any doubt that you were.
Anyone doing a treatment needs to agree a treatment plan before work starts. You did, and then he went ahead and did a procedure you refused several times. It is also a big concern as to why was the dental nurse looking away the whole time?

I think you need some form of justice. Do you have family or friends who can support you.

SmallMexicanChihuahua · 30/09/2024 16:42

changedusernameforthis1 · 30/09/2024 16:37

I'm sorry you were treated this way, OP.

Years ago I had a horrible dentist experience too and it's left me with a dental phobia. I spent years avoiding dentists until I desperately needed treatment, but I panicked so much that my dentist referred me to somewhere else where I was sedated which worked amazingly well.

I can now have check ups calmly but any mention of treatment and I need sedating again.

I really hope you can get some help with this and maybe sedation too if necessary.

Thank you for the advice and I'm sorry you too had a horrible experience.

OP posts: