(Lighthearted) Compliments which aren't really compliments

[Mynameistallullah]

What backhanded compliments do you get?

I have had the following in the past week 😂. No idea why as all from different people.

1. "I love your hair - I wish I had the time or the inclination to do that" (it was up in a braid because my hair is a mess and I don't earn a lot of money and can't afford to have it cut 😂). Compliment came from someone at work who earns about 5 x my FT salary fwiw

2. another work one "You're so lucky - I wish I had time for a lunchbreak" 🙄😂. I responded to this one later in the day by offering to cover for half an hour everyday and just doing my work at her desk (her job is one where you have to sit there in case customers come in, but I wouldn't have to do her work iyswim). She hit the roof and said she prefers not to have a lunchbreak...um...

3. this one was a weird one and you'd need the context to get it maybe... but, from family member hearing that I finish work in time to collect my kids from school "you are so lucky - you have the perfect life" (I won't go into it, but I very clearly don't 😂)

Not sure why I've got so many this week, but thought I'd share and see what other backhanded compliments people get...or maybe I'm the only one #blessed

you’re looking well = you’re looking plump!

One of my work colleagues made a back handed compliment a while ago which stuck with me. Basically implying that our company only employs pretty people and that's all they are good for - they're looks. She then proceeded to point at me and state 'you are pretty'

😂 yep - I've had "you're looking...healthy" when I gained a stone

Wow that's quite pointed!

That's a nice dress, did you make it yourself?

My mum's friend, who hadn't seen me since I was a teenager, said upon meeting me as an adult, "Gosh, you've changed so much. You're so pretty now" 😂 😂 😂

When my daughter was in severe Autistic burnout and I had to give up my job to look after her (causing severe financial hardship) my sister said "lucky you, getting to stay at home all day!" WTF!!!

My nana admired my black dress, then followed it up with 'black's a very slimming colour, isn't it'.....😅

Aren't you doing well for a girl - my aunt, often.

My husbands Nan when I showed her a picture of me in a wedding dress Id chosen "you actually look quite thin in that" 😅

" Your hair and makeup always looks so beautiful, I wish I had time to do mine but I'm always so busy with the kids".
I have four kids of my own and a foster child. We are all up, washed and dressed, fed and out the door on time. I just make time to get myself look good too. Don't be trying to make me feel bad just because you're insecure about the fact you didn't!

My MIL is very good at this. She doesn't speak English so she tells DH to translate.

"Tell BoPeep she's much prettier in real life." When meeting for the first time, after seeing me in photos.

"Tell BoPeep she's looking much better." (During a video call a few days postpartum. DH had apparently been sharing photos I didn't look very good in.)

My mother met an old schoolfriend that she hadn't seen in years . The woman said " Oh Mary you used to be lovely " 😁

OH Grandmother - you’re doing so well with your ‘little job’ and raising the children at the same time - every time I see her. I’m not quite sure what she means as she never says anything like this to OH. She worked full time and brought up her children, so she was hardly a 1940’s housewife.

You’re looking really nice, from the back.

Thanks Mum!

I really like your nails, we used to call that colour slapped red

An ex boyfriend. ‘You must have been stunning when you were thirty’. 😂

Slapper

You look good for your age!

And my favourite: If you lost weight you'd actually be quite pretty!

Yeah thanks for that! 🤣

DM talking about my wedding dress on my wedding day to the hairdresser doing my hair, "and it's such a slimming shape too".

My mum when I had completed my second year of uni (challenging course with 50/50 theory/placement, older student). Oh you've done so well, we thought you would have quit by now!

It was that comment that made sure I completed the course even though I wasn't enjoying it at all.

I had hair extensions due to alopecia but my work colleagues wouldn't know about that as I've never met them, and one said I wish I had your confidence when she saw me on Zoom.

Yeah, the 'you're looking well' one can be a bit triggering as it always means weight gain.
But that's not anyone's fault but my own as they're just trying to be nice.

Out on the town with a bunch of mates when I was in my twenties. Strap broke on my shoe and one of the guys decided to be gallant and carry me to the taxi rank. After a few steps he said "wow, you are heavier than you look". Errm, thanks?!

I always get ‘you look great considering you’ve had 3 kids!’