(Lighthearted) Compliments which aren't really compliments

[Mynameistallullah]

What backhanded compliments do you get?

I have had the following in the past week 😂. No idea why as all from different people.

1. "I love your hair - I wish I had the time or the inclination to do that" (it was up in a braid because my hair is a mess and I don't earn a lot of money and can't afford to have it cut 😂). Compliment came from someone at work who earns about 5 x my FT salary fwiw

2. another work one "You're so lucky - I wish I had time for a lunchbreak" 🙄😂. I responded to this one later in the day by offering to cover for half an hour everyday and just doing my work at her desk (her job is one where you have to sit there in case customers come in, but I wouldn't have to do her work iyswim). She hit the roof and said she prefers not to have a lunchbreak...um...

3. this one was a weird one and you'd need the context to get it maybe... but, from family member hearing that I finish work in time to collect my kids from school "you are so lucky - you have the perfect life" (I won't go into it, but I very clearly don't 😂)

Not sure why I've got so many this week, but thought I'd share and see what other backhanded compliments people get...or maybe I'm the only one #blessed

“congratulations on recognising not to push yourself too hard today.”

This is gold.

A friend looked at a picture of my parents in their youth, and then at me, and then at the picture again and said “why were people so much better looking back then?”

When I was about to start chemo treatment for breast cancer my friend said "oooo think about all that time off work" - yeah where I've got no hair, can't go anywhere or do anything! Great 🙄

I met someone who used to be a customer in a bar I worked in about 20 years later.
'Oh you used to be so slim and pretty ' 😂

This is odd as I am never told I look well with weight gain as it all goes to my face.

If I am at my optimum weight I am told I look well but only then.

This thread reminds me of a video I watched lately. It's hilarious:

It backs up the "You look well" comments on here too!

My mother once said 'Ooh, your bottom's very flat!' which might sound like she's calling me 'slim'... but she is a cast-iron biyatch, so I waited all afternoon for the other shoe to drop... waited... at last she said with mock-carelessness: 'They say women's bottoms go flat when they're old.' Brava, Ma... 👏

In our early days of dating, my now DH said to me 'you've got such a great figure, you could be a body model' - I immediately thought so what's wrong with my face then? I know he didn't mean it like that, but it was a bit galling at the time 😁.

I hear you (and hope you're better now). When I got Graves Disease I lost 1.5 stone in 6 weeks... the amount of jealous compliments I got for that, despite the fact I was exhausted, shaking, mentally deranged, my eyes were bugging out of my head and I could have lost my sight (and indeed, my eyes have been permanently impaired)... 😳

But thin, right?! (AND the weight came back on!)

Yes, I lost a ton of weight when my father died, because I couldn't eat every time he went into hospital. I'd have far rather still had my father than everyone telling me I looked great.

Not to me, it doesn't!! Coming from me, that means things like: you have colour in your cheeks, you have a sparkle in your eye, you're standing tall not stooping, you don't look ill or tired, you look fit and healthy... things like that.

“You look great in that! About three stone slimmer!”

”Oh, you’re quite beautiful aren’t you? Not what I was expecting at all.”

A few years ago, a 'friend' said to me "Your children are so lovely, you'd think they went to private school".
Obvs her kids did go private. Patronising (and naive) cow.

I've had this.. it takes me 15mins while the kids eat their breakfast. It's their own insecurity talking

Recently I was told I look healthy, I need to lose a couple stones, they actually meant I look fat.

So you did actually want to quit 😆

@AsIfIWish Yeah I've never used it to mean fat, I mean they are glowing etc

'I think you have a very clear, ringing voice' (she means I'm embarrassingly loud)

My dm to my dsis you will get wrinkles screwing your eyes up, wear your glasses.
Dm to me you would look much prettier without your glasses on. 🤷‍♀️

Dm after I told her that my unexplained weight loss was due to chronic leukaemia.
Being slim is a nice side effect though.
I was only 8st 12 lb to start with.

So many awful dm’s on here.

🤗

There really are some rotter DMs, aren't there?

I have an acquaintance who gives this sort of 'compliment' a lot. It's usually done in the presence of her closer friends and I suspect she thinks she's very cleverly making a comment that they will understand but the person it's aimed at will take as a positive. Eg

On arriving at a meal out- 'Oh Catless, you always look so NATURAL [long pause] I wish I was brave enough not to care, it would save me so much time' (I'm pretty rubbish at doing hair/makeup etc but had actually really made an effort that evening)
At school pick up, discussing the hassle of getting outfits for a day when the children were asked to come in a specific colour. Most said they had ordered a new outfit just for the day. One mum said she'd trawled the charity shops and finally found something in the right colour that she planned to adjust to fit her DD. As soon as that mum left, acquaintance said 'That's the great thing about the benefits families, they're so resourceful!'

Yes I'm never sure that's exactly a compliment when people say 'it's very you' !

"Such a shame because you have such a pretty face" - when I was 2 stones overweight

I’ve bought you the finest wine your palate can appreciate!

My 14 year old niece looking through family photograph album, "Wow, you were really beautiful when you were young!" Stares at me in astonishment as if she can't quite believe that this haggard looking 40 something once looked like that.