(Lighthearted) Compliments which aren't really compliments

[Mynameistallullah]

What backhanded compliments do you get?

I have had the following in the past week 😂. No idea why as all from different people.

1. "I love your hair - I wish I had the time or the inclination to do that" (it was up in a braid because my hair is a mess and I don't earn a lot of money and can't afford to have it cut 😂). Compliment came from someone at work who earns about 5 x my FT salary fwiw

2. another work one "You're so lucky - I wish I had time for a lunchbreak" 🙄😂. I responded to this one later in the day by offering to cover for half an hour everyday and just doing my work at her desk (her job is one where you have to sit there in case customers come in, but I wouldn't have to do her work iyswim). She hit the roof and said she prefers not to have a lunchbreak...um...

3. this one was a weird one and you'd need the context to get it maybe... but, from family member hearing that I finish work in time to collect my kids from school "you are so lucky - you have the perfect life" (I won't go into it, but I very clearly don't 😂)

Not sure why I've got so many this week, but thought I'd share and see what other backhanded compliments people get...or maybe I'm the only one #blessed

At least today you are not looking too bad. You should wear this more often

From an ex work colleague

”no matter how much your weight fluctuates you never get a double chin. You’ve got a good jawline”

From my old boss when I was looking for a new job…”The trouble with you is that you are much more intelligent than you look!” 😂

I used to get the IF you lost weight one from my mum all the time 🙄

usually while fawning over my younger (in her 20s) sister saying how pretty she is etc.. she is substantially ‘bigger’ than me!

My best friend is guilty of saying “it’s very you!” if someone is wearing something/has a new hairstyle that isn’t to her taste but feels like she has to be polite

Translation is “I fucking hate it”, but she’s a good egg and a genuinely lovely person so I always laugh it off!

On being accepted to university (my DM) - that’s amazing, who knew you were clever enough to get into uni!

on women (and my grey hair) (my MIL) - grey hair is usually so ugly on a woman.

That is harsh 😳 especially from your own mother! 🙄

Oooooh, sounds like they are getting jellus!

You keep on losing the weight! (If you want to of course._

My mother in law said to me today wow that cream is really working! Your face looks good!

Oh I have a recent one from MIL on a joint holiday: "It's great how brave you are wearing bikini. Good on you!"

From my DM "Well a good thing you're bigger, you'll be less likely to get osteoporosis like me."
I mean to be fair she is crippled with osteoporosis, but it's not really a nice thing to say to someone.

My mother " Yes, you've tried lots of things haven't you"
"You've never been very good at any of them"

OMG I have had that! "Wow, you dont look like you have had 6 kids" so I always reply with "Really? What do women who have had 6 kids look like then?" and they never know what to say! It really is the killer comeback and it was one I, naturally, got from MN!

My mum often tells the story of the first time she met my fathers grandmother. It was the 60's so she was wearing the fashions of the time and was 16...

"Oh thats a nice skirt, did you get it on the never never?"
"No, why?"
"Oh, I just wondered when you were going to get the bottom half"

At a funeral when I was a teenager.
A lady came up to me and told me that I looked identical to my nan when she was my age. I thanked her and she said “yes you have the same spots!" While pointing at my face.

When MIL was staying: "I had a bath earlier, your bath is so... manageable! Ours is much too big." 😆🛁

One of my cousins, Auntie Susan's daughter, took up running in her early sixties. "Auntie Susan's very worried about her," my mother told me. "She's says she's got awfully skinny, like a bag of bones. So I told Auntie Susan that you've been a runner for years and you're not at all skinny."

Er, thanks, Mum. I think.

(I looked up the cousin concerned on social media because I'm every bit as nosy as my mother. Auntie Susan needs to go to Specsavers.)

"You look like Ugly Betty" said by a waitress in a restaurant

"You look much better in real life than you do in your passport" - shop assistant in Morrisons

After telling someone what I did for a living, they said "I wish I had a job where I didn't have to use my brain"

"You could be a model if you were taller"

“’I bet your little job’s very rewarding.”
SIL, when I worked part-time at a nursery for children with additional needs!

I only realised in my 30s that when someone says ‘your just like your dad/mum/uncle’ it’s invariably an insult rather than compliment.

An older Italian man joined me uninvited at a cafe bar: "You must have been beautiful when you were younger" as an opener 😶

I've had this one!!

Also why don't you try to become really beautiful

Both from my parents.

There are many more!

My mum, having snooped and discovered what I earned in my first real job after a graduate scheme:
"That's more than some men earn!"

My mum, any time I mentioned a new female acquaintance before I myself was married
"Is she married? She sounds lucky enough to be married"

My mum, after I'd lost weight
"Thank goodness I've got my daughter back"

She's a joy

Haha I've had this one from my mum several times!

I've had a few other compliments from her throughout my life and they are usually said with a tone of surprise which is annoying.

Another that comes to mind was meeting my boyfriends mother for the first time as a teenager - "you have quite broad shoulders dear, do you play rugby?" 🤣

I used to often get this compliment in the past , especially as a teenager- you are so pretty for an Asian girl - do you have Caucasian blood in you? Both my parents are Asian.