Would you have a child by yourself if you had a lot of money?

[lounellie]

As I approach my mid/late 30s, I am starting to ask myself what I really want regarding motherhood.

I think the chances of finding a man who is suitable to be a good life partner and father in the next few years are slim, so among other options I am asking myself if solo motherhood might be an option for me.

I have a very stable good job that pays very well and is quite flexible, so I have lots of disposable income. I live abroad so no family around to help unfortunately, but lots of lovely friends.

In these circumstances, would you have a baby by yourself?

Thanks for your thoughts!

I was going to.
I think it becomes not really about you. It's what the child would feel and what you would tell them. I'd look at personal experiences of donor children in depth.
I asked my gay friends first to coparent. That fell through.
I then looked at donors. Spoke to three women who had gone this route. ALL of them had children with inherited health issues not disclosed by the donor whixh I was shocked by.
I then ended up dating someone who really wanted kids but wasn't my type. We now have a coparent relationship and two children. It's not ideal. But I am glad I have them and so is he. They have never had to go through a divorce and have had input from two different people which has been beneficial in terms of balance. He is a genuinely nice person and loving Dad. Just not someone I was in love with..

I definitely would. I probably wouldn't have as many kids as I do now though.

may be yes?

Not to rain on anybody's parade with all the suggestions of nannys and continuing in your career, but please consider the possibility that your child might have special educational needs or disability that mean you can't work full time.

This happened to me and there are multiple threads on here from SEND parents who have given up careers and scrape by now.

Not a reason not to do it, of course, but don't assume you will have a child who can be happily packed off to childcare while you continue your career.

This

Go for it, my ex was abusive, i left when my youngest was 2, I have my children 65% of the time, I earn a very modest salary but we are comfortable and have a lovely life, holidays, family support, it sounds like you have a lot to give. X

No I wouldn't. I have 2 dc now but before I met my DH I never had any great yearning to have dc. If I had never found a partner I would have been happier enjoying a life without ties and spending all my income on myself.

As a parent now I would say that even with lots of help like a nanny, PA and cleaner, you can't buy all the help you need. Some of the support I get from DH is emotional, or just being there in evenings and weekends, and being able to share the load but still enjoy time with the dc, for example on days out and holidays (though I know people who pay for a holiday nanny, but I'd find that intrusive). And also talking over major decisions like school choices or medical decisions - it's only the other parent who can share that decision with you.

Oh give over, shit happens all the time and I’d rather make plans with a friend than some of the feckless twats people write about on here!

Go for it OP.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion but I agree with this. You're procuring sperm to make a baby. There is no father figure, no intention to have a father and I wonder the impact on the child.

I'm separated, due to various reasons my marriage broke down. I am co-parenting amicably but this was never my plan to raise DC between two homes.