Daughter going on holiday with bf's family

[Gratefulforadvice]

DD is 15 and she's been invited to a week's holiday during half term by her BF and family. They say they are more than happy to cover the costs but we would be paying if we let her go.

Question is - would you allow your 15 year old to go on holiday with their partner? If yes what would the sleeping arrangements be like? Are you quite open to your kids about relationships?

Any advice very grateful. We've never had this experience and she is an only child (not that it makes any difference). What would you do?

No I wouldn’t allow it. She’s too young.

Imagine if she got into a situation she wasn’t comfortable with or they fell out or just if she didn’t enjoy being away with the family - it’s a long time and far away from her support network.

I'd let her go providing bedrooms were separate and I trusted the parents/partner and dd

No probably not abroad.
I took my dds gf away with us camping at that age and they shared a tent, but it was close enough that wouldnt be too hard to get collected if there was any issues, and also we didnt have to worry about anyone getting pregnant.

They've been seeing each other mostly one on one, have had meals with his family and ours. Bf seems nice and his parents come across as kind and caring, hence feeling bad for rejecting their invitation, but I hope they'll understand.

Dd is 15 and a half, bf is 16.

I think you need to discuss safe sex with her. Avoiding it doesn't mean they won't have sex.

Oh no! I'm sure that was well intended but I'd hate to share a room with my bf's mum at that age!!

maybe. more details tho.
sleeping arrangements?
does bf have siblings? or is "bring a friend"alwys a thing. i know with ds 2 ,huge age gap tween him and big bro so high days and holidays we quite often include friends. that puts me back to-what sleeping arrngements.
does dd wnt to go?

I would assume different bedrooms though I haven't asked. He has a brother but no details of whether he's bringing a friend or a gf

You owe it to your daughter to discuss contraception and consent right now.
She's been going out with this boy for six months.
Sex will very much be on their minds.

It would be impossible to stop them.

Please talk to her about contraception as a matter of urgency.

I allowed nights once they were both 16. Not before.
Next year is soon enough.

@Gratefulforadvice well,first off- dont assume.
ask,?suggest meeting the parents for coffee/lunch whatever and have a clear picture?what exactly the holiday offer is?
given your expecttion\no reason not to believe the are fairly decent. they wont think twice to agreeing.
its bit harsh to outright reject. Know what you and indeed dd would be ok with and what you wouldnt. communiction is easy fix

Yes, I would. We took our dc and their respective girlfriends on holiday for a week, overseas. The youngest couple were, at the time, both 15. We had good communication with her parents who trusted her, and us. A lovely holiday.

My daughter was 15 (+6 months) when her boyfriend’s family asked her to join them on holiday. I said hell no until she’s well over 16. I called his mum and explained my reservations, so there would be no misunderstandings. She did say she intended them to have separate rooms, but also agreed that it was too soon and she herself was having doubts about it, but didn’t want to be the un-liberal parent. I raised my eyebrow at that, but really she’s a very lovely, sweet, fragile woman, so I let it slide.

In the following summer, my daughter went on holiday with his family after their GCSEs and he also joined us on ours. By that time they had been dating for over a year and (most crucially) were both well over 16.

I did worry about them breaking up on holiday and how that would pan out but that never happened. They’re still together at 21

No absolutely not

My dd is 15 and went on holiday with her boyfriend and his family in the summer. They’d been together a year. She shared a room with her boyfriend’s sisters. We get on well with her boyfriend’s parents - similar values etc. We’re open about relationships etc.

My honest opinion is that 15 is too young, and only being together 6 months isn't really that long, to be starting to think of going on holiday. If they"d been together a year, you'd met the parents properly and knew them better, and she was a little older, then of course she could go. If it was me inviting my son's gf on holiday, I'd be giving her parents all the information - the resort, the name of the hotel, making sure they knew the sleeping arrangements, reassurance that she was in safe hands etc. If you are seriously considering allowing your daughter to go, you need much more information from her parents and a good chat with them both in person. Once you have all the information, you can make a decision. You do need to have a chat with your daughter about contraception! You may not think she's having sex, but it's possible that she is!! Buy her a box of condoms, and make sure she keeps a couple in her purse. It may be time for a GP appointment, and see if she should go on the Pill.

i lived with my boyfriend from age 16 so yes i would.

although at that age i would expect some sort of contraception and also only if they had been dating a while as if the relationship broke down whilst away that could be awkward

No, it’s all a bit intense isn’t it??
They’re children.
I’d be a bit wary of any parents that suggested this to be honest.

Really? Your 15 year old DD who has been in a relationship with her BF for 6 months is not on any sort of birth control because it suggests intimacy is inappropriate. I think you need to get passed this. I work with young people and unfortunately the amount of 15 year old girls from good decent families having sex is staggering. I suspect she will be having sex or at least thinking about it.
Don’t mistake your hope for a certainty….

No, but have a frank talk with her about why. 15 is too young to go on hols with boyfriend, 6 months seems a long time but it’s not really. You’ll review next year and if they are still together and still have your trust you may be happier to let her go. It’s a long way from home and it’s a lot of pressure being away with a boyfriend (or a friend) and their family. It would be easy to feel obliged / pressured / get carried away and go further with BF than she perhaps intends to at this point. While on this topic, would she like to talk to you about starting contraception for when she is ready? If not the time now, you think it’s a good idea when she is 16.

You’re sorry it’s not the answer she probably would like just now but you’re glad she came to you and hope she continues to come to you whenever she would like to talk.

I agree. Of a mum of a (much younger!) son when he’s older there’s no way I’d be taking his underage girlfriend on holiday and be responsible for them both! After 16 maybe

They’re 15, chances they probably won’t even still be together by February half term! Too young for that sort of thing IMO.

That made me laugh too