Sad our church turned its back on dd

[TeenLifeMum]

Dd has been to church all her life. At one point we moved to a different church that suited us more but we made lovely friends etc and dd was attending youth group until she was 15. Suddenly she was less keen but focusing on GCSEs so we didn’t push it. With clubs etc for the other dc, regular attendance dropped a bit but we were fairly relaxed.

I believe in god but have always had issues with “the church”, but put that aside to be with people of faith.

I recently learned why dd stopped going to youth - they did a full session on how they should pray for gay people in the hope of healing them. How they are so angry about people loving each other is beyond me.

dd is gay. Her girlfriend is loving, kind, polite, and caring. I want all my dc to have loving healthy relationships so have no issue and naively thought others wouldn’t care. Turns out they do. Two of her closest friends stepped away due to her being gay (parents we’d met through church) and now she understandably doesn’t want to go to church, and neither do I.

I’m angry. I hope they’re really proud of themselves from their high horses. On the off chance they’re on here - no, you’re not good Christians.

Thanks for humouring my rant.

Obviously I disagree with you. It's vile. And I really do worry for your children, and for the children of people like you. I've seen the impact on many gay people of having parents with your fucked up beliefs. It's devastating.

If you are taking the bible that seriously/literally then does that mean you're okay with lesbians? Because afaik there are no passages specifically condemning love and sex between two women.

Ah makes me sick to my stomach. I'm so sorry for your daughter. Hopefully she'll find an inclusive church not a backwards one. Steve Chalke is a big advocate for members of LGBT+ community, definitely worth a follow.

It calls itself a Community Church and preaches Chritianity (or so it says). The elders run it rather than a priest or vicar. Ex members have likened it to a cult. A previous worshipper, who was homosexual, went through 'the cure', then helped with this for other people before he came to his senses. He later wrote a book about his experiences.

Fingers crossed the conversion therapy ban actually happens!
I'm interested in knowing the name of the book if you're happy to share?

I will find it out for you. A relative came across it.

This is so uncalled for.

If someone called your beliefs on this matter f*cked up - there would be uproar.

People are allowed to have their beliefs and raise their children how they see fit.

OP, you have my sympathy.

I stopped attending the CofE church my family went to, and at which I had been christened and confirmed, back in the early nineties when the local bishop refused, at about three days' notice, to ordain our deacon because the deacon was gay and a repulsive round robin (which is next-worst thing to an anonymous letter) had been sent by some of the congregation to the bishop accusing him of bringing the church into disrepute simply because of his sexuality. I didn't want to share communion with any of them. The rest of my family were in the choir and continued to go to the church, and when they had left home and moved to other towns my children went on being in choirs and going to CofE churches. One of my daughters stopped being a member of the CofE last year when she and her girlfriend wanted to get married and realised that was not going to be acceptable to her church. I think the others are still CofE, but I am not at all sure why, given the prejudice. And the no-marriage thing applies to all CofE churches, not just the ones with bigoted vicars and unChristian congregations who openly display their bias against homosexuals.

Incidentally, and as others have pointed out using various examples, the influential early Christian who was thoroughly in favour of women knowing and keeping their place, and anti-gay, was also opposed to women braiding their hair (1 Timothy 2:9), but I've never heard a sermon preached against the wearing of plaits. And he wrote that women should remain silent in church (1 Corinthians 14:34), but we have female vicars and bishops these days. What people choose to take from the bible is extremely selective, and as various nutcases have proved over the years, if you look hard enough in it you can find justification for anything you want to do, or to persecute, especially if you look in the OT as well as the NT.

In fact one of the reasons the bible is such a terrible source for morals and particularly ethics is precisely because it doesn't change: I would hope we have grown up, as a species, beyond recommending that people should dash out the brains of their opponents' babies against the rocks, or suggesting it is appropriate to set bears on small children for being cheeky, but both of these are advocated in the bible, along with other methods of killing people for things we now (I do trust and hope) do not feel deserve a death-sentence.

CrunchyCarrot · Today 16:43
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I know I will get hate flung at me but let me try to explain the Christian point of view about homosexuality. God has said that sex is only acceptable between a man and a woman, within marriage. That means that any sex outside that, so pre-marital sex, adultery, 'open' marriages, sex with animals and homosexual sex are all outside what God wants for us. He has been very clear about it. Since Jesus is God incarnate, He too has the same disposition.
It's not the same as saying a person who is born with homosexual feelings is any worse than any of the rest of us, we are ALL sinners and separated from God. A homosexual person should not be hated and reviled whatsoever, otherwise you would have to hate and revile a huge part of the population for their own sexual sins. Or indeed any sins! Christians are (or should be) taught to show compassion and love for everyone. Not just some people, but ALL people. However loving the person is not the same as loving their sins.
Practising homosexuality is continuing to sin in the eyes of God (as would be carrying on practising adultery, or continuing to have sex outside marriage).
I personally would not pray for someone to be 'healed' of homosexuality, I might instead pray for them to understand that homosexual sex is a sin in God's eyes, and for strength and guidance for them so they can resist this. You cannot expect a person to suddenly turn into a heterosexual, that would be unrealistic.
I have 2 Christian friends who are gay and they both live celibate lives. This is of course a difficult thing but the Holy Spirit can give you strength in order to do this. The Christian life isn't easy, nor is it meant to be. Christians need to help each other to bear their burdens, but at the same time we shouldn't just say 'society says it's OK to have gay sex (or be an adulterer, or have sex outside marriage) because it's the tolerant thing to “

Blither, stuff and nonsense. I enjoyed sex pre-marriage. I am not a sinner and I don’t need to be tolerated, thank you.

I thought “God is Love”. That should be it. No proviso’s necessary.

What being HATEFUL due to someone's sexuality isn't vile?

What I hate about what happened to your daughter is it can leave a spiritual void and a mistrust of good things. It's really really disgusting. I'm getting angrier the more I think about it. I can't believe leaders of this community are so dim as to interpret the bible so literally. When it isn't symbolism and myth it's all interpreted, translated, and compiled with various do-gooders (all men) most likely adding their own 10p's worth into the mix too.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime you do know there are various editions of the bible? And actually the old testament modern Christians have is missing sections? (And that's ignoring the translations.)

You seem like the type that wouldn't call out blatant racism...

RisingSunn
People are allowed to have their beliefs and raise their children how they see fit.

Not at all true. Not if for iinstance the father believes it's just fine to fuck his daughters before they are old enough to have periods and so won't have children by him. Not if the mother thinks beating her children with a stick is OK so long as it is no bigger round than her thumb is. Not if either parent believes that an appropriate punishment if a child is rude is to lock it in a cellar without light or heat for twenty-four hours. I could go on, but I prefer not to because the horrible things people sometimes believe make me feel sick.

Yes, and thank you for supporting my point! You can find anything there if you try hard enough, and many, many people have and do.

It’s a perfectly normal C of E point of view. All congregations are different, depending on the vicar and the demographic- but this is a common belief.

Unless you’re in a southern US state, I find this hard to believe.

I am the type to accept people will not always agree with me or my way of life.

That doesn’t mean they hate ME.

I don't understand this . If you chose to be religious you chose to believe in everything that the faith says . Homosexuality is a sin in all abrahamic religions . You might not like it or agree with it but you cant change the religion to fit your lifestyle .

Do you honestly, really think these type of outlier examples are what I was referring to?

Homosexuality isn't a "way of life". That suggests there is a choice. It isn't a choice.

How is it an "outlier example" if it is what the bible says?

This thread is depressing. So many people using their faith to justify the hatred of others. I fail to see anything positive that religion adds to the world. It just creates division.

I was responding to the poster that was assuming the type of person I am.

I described myself and my way of thinking - was not referring to homosexuality.

I think in general society these would be considered outlier situations.