I need all your swear words, stuff to smash and best cures for a headache, fury and downright devastation

[BirthdayRainbow]

Please.

Ex h has met someone else. Don't care.

What I care about is he has told her really really personal stuff about me. Stuff she didn't need to know. Stuff he didn't need to tell her. He could have said something fairly benign about why we split without telling her something so painful. They've been dating a week. Seven fucking days.

I'm not saying what but trust me when I say it is gobsmackingly bad.

I have been tearful for hours but I need to sleep, have two difficult and busy days coming and need to deal with it.

I printed off some photos today and in Boots noticed I had photos I didn't want to keep. I had already deleted photos of him or coloured over him if he was in a photo with the kids so wanted to keep them but today I even coloured over if his hand or leg was showing. Can't stand him. Dreading tomorrow but will stay out of his way as much as possible. I'm not helping him put the stuff in his car either. I know he'll think it's because of his Gf but it's not.

His mum will be all welcoming to the gf I expect. Hope she thinks it's worth it. I wonder what the kids will do if she stops talking to me. My kids are the only grandchildren.

I want to change my name asap. So any suggestions would be great. Can't start with a B or a G.

Thank you @Isittoolatea. I feel less alone.

Shame Etsy don’t do next day delivery so you can have a nice cup of tea tomorrow whilst drinking from this cup ….

I can’t promise to fix all your problems because I know I can’t but what I can promise is that your not alone xx

😂🤣

Thank you.

Your indifference will hurt his ego more than anything you could say.
Indifference is the goal, but not for that reason. It's for your healing. Do whatever you need to do in order to heal.

I'm just not good today. I can hear his voice in my head but it is the old him, the one when we were first together and all loved up. I don't want him to care about me as I certainly don't care about him, but I think I do in so much as I want him to understand how I'm feeling. But he never will. I can't compute why he has power over me. Why am I so stressed about him coming when I can't stand him? There's an element of pissedoffness that he's caused us all so much pain yet he's living at mummy's and has no responsibilities. Nothing with the kids, the house, the dog. Nothing.

I don't think he'll notice I'm being indifferent and if he did he won't care.

He has no power over you. He's an immature man baby. Sorry you're not feeling good. Will you be able to do anything nice tonight to make yourself feel better? Hugs.

Thinking of you BirthdayRainbow.
Sorry I havnt got anything better to say tonight going through a crap evening myself xx

I'm just frustrated as I don't know what is wrong with me. I have so much going on as I'm also moving house and have to get rid of most of the furniture and white goods in the house and he's doing very little to assist. I don't want to see him but I can't do it all myself as only have a small car.

I am tired as was awake 3-5am but too wound up to sleep.

Sorry you're having a crap time @Isittoolatea checking in with me helps. I wish I could help you too.

Yes that's definitely frustrating for you and stressful. I hope you get some sleep, you too @Isittoolatea 💐

Thank you @Userofcoffee . I slept better than expected but I'm a bit stressed now as I've realised I don't know when he is coming. I had assumed first thing but I don't know. I want to just get on with what I'd be doing if he wasn't coming but I need to be here when he comes to tell him what to take.

It is so upsetting to have been taken advantage of so blatantly for so long and to be treated badly now. I know he's lied to me and it's not right. His mother said I'd always be family. Weasel words. Certainly not true.

@BirthdayRainbow stay strong today, easier said than done, I know. You've been through so much.

I felt like I was looking forward to him coming but I realised very quickly it was just because more stuff will be taken from the house. I just don't know how to be. I don't want to talk, be friendly or help him. I shouldn't care what he thinks but feel if I am indifferent as I've been advised to be, he'll think I'm upset about her. I'm really not. I'm upset for me 😢

It went worse than I could ever have believed.

I'm left to dispose of everything that is in the house that I'm not taking. Have to pay him back money. Will only pay have for our sons food. Said awful awful things to me.

Im in shock.

So sorry to hear that BirthdayRainbow.
How did you handle it with him when he was there?
How old is your son?
What a shit head he sounds!xx

Have you spoken to a solicitor about the break up? It sounds like your ex is taking advantage of your vulnerability. I'm so sorry you are dealing with such an arse!

@Isittoolatea @JollyTallTeddy apologies for joint reply.

I've got a headache just coming on now with it all.

I am not even sure what happened. I said he was spineless as won't talk to me and for discussing my private stuff. He just kicked off. Laughed in my face when I said I was happy he's met someone but upset he's told her it all and asked when. Said he doesn't have to speak to me and won't. Threw the stuff on the sofa for the tip and left. I told his mum. Asked her to clarify if he literally wanted nothing as there is a lot of stuff which is just his. He sent me an email saying he won't do any jobs, won't take any stuff, wants money back, our son is 19 and he'll only give him half his food money.

I did two tip runs and found a low cost van hire to take his sofa and other bits. Wouldn't take my call so again, I rang his mum. She passed the message on and he texted me. Thanks for the van info. I told him how I felt. He said it is horrible for both of us, he didn't know I rang as was on the phone sorry about this morning.

why is it horrible for him? He cheated on me, I stayed, he said cruel stuff and I had to divorce him. He can't have thought I'd stay after that but I think he did. He's now at his mums, has a new woman, does nothing with the kids or dog, will be a lot better off than me in the future, why is it horrible for him ?

and if he was on the phone wouldn't it go straight to voicemail? It didn't.

we are divorced. My conveyancer knows he's been horrible. She's been very supportive.

the kids that know are not impressed. I did go too far with ex though. As he left I said I hope he's enjoyed being a dad as he won't be seeing the kids once they know.

It's horrible for him to not be able to control you, because he is an abusive prick with a sick compulsion to control and dominate women. That's why he's so angry. You dared to dump him. Even if they don't want you anymore, they are enraged by being dumped. They always have to feel that they have won and when you draw that line in the sand and say no more, they lose. So he gets his petty revenge by depriving his own son. Sick freak.

He will not have a better life than you because he's got an empty elevator shaft where his soul should be and that's a horrible way to live.
In time you will thrive without him in your life.
He, otoh, will never be anything but a miserable bastard. He's never going to be happy. He doesn't have it in him.

Why do you have to give him money? Do you mean you have to pay spousal support to this POS?
I would talk to your lawyer about fighting that in court, if for no other reason than that the dickhead will lose again, as he richly deserves to.

Hi BirthdayRainbow.
Hows your headache now ? I hope it’s eased off.
Sorry to hear your ex is being an arse.
Your son will soon realise what a prick he is .
Regarding the money he says you owe him I’d be as awkward as possible regarding it .
I hope you charged him for the van hire and it didn’t come out of your own pocket .
It’s horrible for him because he knows he’s lost you and he knows what he has lost . Don’t let the new girlfriend act fool you.
Why do they always run back to mummy? That’s what I want to know .
Your children will soon see him for what he really is .
Try keep your chin up I know it’s easier said than done xx

I've just realised I've got confused and posted on a thread I started last night thinking it was this one. I actually wrote what happened to me on that one thinking I was being brave as it was this one. What an idiot.

@XChrome i always thought men who controlled women were a particular type and it was a shock to the system that it was the opposite. I'm his first girlfriend. He had one affair. Two months after divorce he is with a new woman. He has been awful with the kids since we split last summer. The money I have to give back is it came out of the joint account as too late to swap to mine and I bought a book recommended and petrol to take our son back to uni from it. He bought a drawer for the freezer and wants that money back as well.

@Isittoolatea i only told him the van hire firm name. I won't organise anything or pay. It helped me if he took the stuff so that's why I did it. The kids have a very low opinion of him that's for sure. My headache did go thankfully.