Slightly anxious about a day out in London with friends next weekend, I hate being pressured to drink more than I'm comfortable with!

[Winterysun]

I'm going with 3 friends who I like very much, it's one of their birthdays. We're sight-seeing in the morning, followed by lunch and then a show. 🎶

All my favourite things, EXCEPT - they want to start drinking on the train at 9 am, bringing a bottle each. I just know I won't enjoy the day if I do that, I love a drink or 2 with lunch, then maybe in the theatre during interval, but alcohol hits me v quickly and the thought of constantly needing the loo, feeling headachey & sleepy is likely to ruin the day for me. I'd rather just have coffee on the early train, which I have before with them, but they (one in particular) got irritated because I wasn't drinking. I think she felt I was judging them, but I wasn't at all, I just can't drink what they can! Doesn't affect my enjoyment of going out though.

If I'm with them and skip a round (even if it's my turn and I buy them drinks and myself a soft drink), I always get a few comments, even though I say I'm enjoying the evening but don't want a stinking headache next day!

Any ideas how to deal with this?

This!

I wouldn't contact them about it before going, it'll just set them off to grumble at you and try to pressurise you beforehand. I'd just turn up, grab my tea and croissant and say a polite but firm 'no, i'm fine with this, thanks' when the drink starts pouring.

But as others have said, the thought of being in the theatre with people who've been drinking since 9am, all raucous and no doubt getting up for the loo during the performance, disturbing everyone, sounds horrendous and I'd be fuming if I was sitting near them.

Firstly if you are all too drunk they won’t let you in to watch the show/ ask you to leave if disturb others.. worth thinking about.

Also - it must be a British thing (I am British) but why is a “drink” always alcohol in these circumstances - when people say come have a “drink” and you say yes pls, I’ll have a diet coke. Do they then say, not that type of drink- I mean alcohol.

But if you always say an alcoholic drink- people look at you like your judging them… it’s a quite weird. Sorry random thought but I seem to ponder this a lot at the moment.

I understand they are keen to have a big day out but starting drinking at 9am seems .... odd.

I enjoy a drink, but If I was having a day out with friends I may have a single drink with lunch (but often not) and then not drink again until the evening. If there is a theatre or cinema trip involved I wouldn't drink until the interval or after the show as I want to enjoy the show i've paid for.

Honestly, OP, once you're planning an elaborate subterfuge so that your friends don't constantly harass you and make spending time with them thoroughly unpleasant... I think you have to step back and look at the macro situation a bit?

Why are you going? It doesn't sound like you're going to enjoy yourself. You don't have to write these friends off entirely, maybe they're great hiking friends or great one-on-one with a coffee friends or even great dinner out friends, but it doesn't sound like they're great day-out-in-London-with-a-show friends for you. And that's fine. And they clearly have some drinking issues, which is their business but not one I'd want to mix myself up in.

Good advice. Also what is their plan when they arrive in London late morning half cut? London during then day when you are a bit pissed is no fun. It's busy, had few public toilets and complex to navigate if you are not a local.

Exactly, Ginmonkey. I've been in the position before when I had a few proseccos with afternoon tea in London. A family event. It was lovely, until afterwards when I realised people were relying on me to navigate the Tubes, to get us all back to the train station!

I did it, but was certainly slower at working it all out than if I'd just stuck to tea or coffee! 😃 Got a few eye-rolls too, directions aren't my forte, even without a drink! 😊

Those of you who live in London, you must find it amusing seeing groups of women unpacking prosecco and plastic glasses on trains, which must sometimes be your normal commutes to work!

Trust me, it's not amusing seeing that.

i was on the train this morning and a group of pissed up middle aged women making absolute fools of themselves were in my carriage

I thought of you and your friends op

@MounjaroUser I was on the train into London for a work meeting and two youngish lads cracked open a full bottle of Prosecco at 9am - admittedly they had brought extra plastic glasses and offered it throughout the carriage. They were going to Stansted to get a flight somewhere so starting their holiday early.

Gin and tonic ...then just order tonic wayer so you have the fancy glass. Do every other and youve halved it

Just realised I didn't come back to this thread, thanks for all your messages!

I went on this day out about a week ago, I contributed one of those low alcohol proseccos (didn't want to feel a completely party-pooper)! The others wanted to open one bottle at a time, and keep filling the glasses (one brought normal prosecco, the other Lambrini). I was firm and said I'd just have mine, willing to share but didn't need any of theirs that early in the day)! I did see an eye-roll pass between them, but they only tried to push me once, then left it. 👍

I really enjoyed the day actually, and that was partly achieved by not feeling drunk! 😀 It doesn't affect them so much.

I have to admit I prefer shorter meet-ups though, I'm generally quieter in nature than they are, and being 'on' for a whole day & evening is definitely harder for me than if it's with my dh, family trip or solo shopping trip. I was ready to sit back and chill on the evening train home, then one of the others suggested Charades to pass the time!

I don't need to pass the time, I'm happy sat looking out the window, but did join in. WHY do I find that game so difficult when others can play it for pleasure?! Depends on how extroverted you are, I suppose.

Charades on the train 🙈 OP I could not put up with this bunch at all.

Omg that sounds like my idea of a day in hell. Prosecco at 9am 🤢

@Winterysun

How did they behave at the theatre....?

Boozing on public transport at 9am is sad skank behaviour. You need better friends

They sat quietly throught the show👍, one was fidgety and needed the loo a few times though. Not sure if she would have anyway, but daytime drinking doesn't help!

Yes, all I'd ever need on a 9 am train is coffee & a pastry, and NO charades coming back! 😃 I do like quiet journeys though, in truth I'm probably a bit too quiet for them anyway!!

Omg I'd want to throttle anyone playing charades on a train.

It's public transport, not your bloody living room

Well done OP, sounds like you managed it really well and I'm glad you had fun. Charades on the train though... eek.

Yes, there were other people further down the carriage and I did feel self-conscious in case they found us irritating!

To be fair, it's a game I find embarrassing anyway, I'm hopeless at it! 😀