What are the worst social faux pas that new parents make?

[ThinkingUpsideDown]

I've seen some pretty heated threads over the last week, from bringing children to 'adult only' events to parents letting their children run wild in cafes. As a rookie mum of a 6-month-old, I am keen NOT to lose friends and piss off strangers.

What would you consider the worst social faux pas that (new) parents make? Is there an unwritten code of etiquette? Have you been in any situations recently that made you think 'how obnoxious!', 'Are they serious?' or '"What were they thinking?'

Genuinely curious to hear the responses!

Lying about things your child can't do. Had an antenatal friend who told everyone that her baby started walking at 8 months old. He wasn't even crawling at this point. She said he wouldn't walk in public as he was too shy!
Now she's older she tells us all sorts of fibs and plasters them on Facebook. "Ethan went to a cricket fun day and the coaches said he was the most talented 6 year old they had ever met" and "Ethan has been chosen to play rugby for England u8 boys" and "Ethan is 6 and has the maths skills of a 16 year old and his teacher has never met a child as talented"

When Ethan was a baby she said that the most he had ever slept in 24 hours was 45 minutes. In total! She said the paediatrician even called his colleagues in to look, as it's been proven that geniuses don't need to sleep as children and he must be the cleverest baby in the world!!!

Do not let your child roam in cafes or restaurants, it's bloody annoying and they're often a trip hazard. Would you expect to eat a relaxed meal in the middle of a children's playground? No, of course you wouldn't. So don't let your child use the restaurant as their fucking playground!

Don't spend hours endlessly trying to 'reason it out' and 'talk it through' with your toddler. Seriously they barely understand a word you're saying and have zero grasp of logical reasoning. All they hear is you earnestly repeating 'Blah blah blah blah blah blah'. Total waste of everyone's time.

Don't ever, ever be frightened of your child sometimes not liking you [gasp]. It's simply part of being a parent. If you allow your child to dominate you and call the shots then you have failed them terribly.

Having no clue the conversation than your frankly boring child. I can only smile a nod so often.

Don't forget about your older friends, especially the child-free. Often we get replaced by the NCT mummy group.

@Confused19831983 I'm actually embarrassed for you that you posted a photo of your child on a work WhatsApp.

Being super smug about how good an eater your newly weaned baby or young toddler is! Honestly most of them eat everything at that stage, they will eventually form their own opinions

Don't latch onto some slightly non-mainstream parenting technique - or even some entirely out there parenting technique - and make it your entire personality, while treating all those who do not subscribe to the cult of slings/ baby-led weaning/ cloth nappies/ unschooling as lazy or a bit stupid. And I say that as a sling/cloth nappy user. It's just stuff - not the symbols of some sort of esoteric knowledge cult.

If you breastfeed with joyous ease, don't offer endless advice to someone who says they struggled or didn't manage it. 'Did you try X? You should have done Y.' Chances are they did try X, and whether they should have done Y or not, it's a bit late to tell them that now.

Don't be one of those colleagues who take off every single Christmas just because you have kids.

Most of us have kids, we all have to be fair and take turns.

Meh ... there's like seven of us and have worked with most for about 15 years.
Also posted pic just after he was born.
Had forgotten about that.

Performance parenting.

Performance parenting.

My Dsis has a favourite pic of my niece. She’s about 1 and has a gorgeous, beaming smile. She’s also covered in dribble and chewed carrot. It makes me feel queasy (I am autistic and probably have a higher disgust level than most).

I have received it in hard copy

Dsis used it as her Xmas card one year

Everytime she does a ‘my, hasn’t she grown’ FB flashback, this is the pic she uses. DNiece is now 17 and probably loves seeing it as much as I do.

There are so many cute baby pics of her, why for the love of god do you keep posting this one!

@Confused19831983 - a genuine question, have any of your friends ever said 'meeting without the baby please?'

If my friends give me the choice I feel I have to say 'oh I don't mind' and then they always bring them and then I have to pretend to be happy to see them when really I just want to see my friend. (I care about the babies by extension because my friends care about them but I'm not bonded to them...)

If they stated 'I'm coming without the baby' I'd respond enthusiastically and say 'great yes please'

Do you have any friends that would openly tell you they want to see you for a proper catch up without the baby?

That is beyond grim

You chose to have kids

These are fair points, but they mainly relate to the earlier stages of child-rearing. I think people can (and should) be forgiving of friends who have a newborn or very young child, but when little Jocasta is about to start secondary school and her mother still can't talk about anything else or show an interest in anyone else's non-child-related activities or any sensitivity to their different circumstances it can start to get a bit tedious.

I would not have minded that but a friend used to leave them at the front door and NOT TAKE THEM HOME. Local dogs would rip them open.

I am sure you will be a lovely, considerate parent. xx

Arghhh!! That sounds terrible. Its not even to do with parenting - just gross!

Whatever you do, you'll piss some people off and will be criticised - all mothers are! Here's what I personally did:

• Don't talk incessantly about your baby, especially to people who really aren't interested. I have friends who don't want children and really aren't interested in mine. Therefore, I talk about other stuff with them. They didn't want to hear about explosive nappies!
• be sensitive to friends who want children but don't/can't have them. They don't want to hear how amazing/life changing motherhood is (or how hard it is). Don't start sentences with "As a mother" because you immediately make them feel alienated.
• Be kind and inclusive to your MIL and other in-laws. They're your baby's family too.

@TrainWeirdos Not often, but yeah, sometimes they will choose evening date over daytime.
I only really have two childless friends I meet up with fairly regularly.
I will perhaps have to be more mindful going forward when making suggestions.
My baby is still quite young and I haven't felt he's got in the way of having a proper catch up when he's been there.
I was childless until I was 40 so thought I was pretty careful about this kind of thing.
Also, if my baby's dad is at work sometimes the only choice is to either meet us both or don't meet us at all.
It's not nice to think friends have been secretly pissed off with me for taking my baby along to meet ups.
Friendships are really important to me and I would genuinely rather talk about love life / work situations / gossip than baby stuff.
Before I had a kid the only thing that would annoy me would be incessant talking about or constant focus on the child.
I do try my very best to avoid doing this myself and it still annoys me in others.

Letting your child disturb other families, assuming that they must think your child is as adorable as you do.

Taking your child to someone’s home / event, sitting down to enjoy yourself and mentally transferring the responsibility of watching your child over to the host.

Insta parenting seen this a lot in my last job parents taking their kids somewhere raking a photonon arrival half way through and at the end and zll the poor kid sees is the bar
Letting kids scream shout and run round restaurants/pubs while mum n dad haveva pint/glass of wine look at their phones then drive home after few drinks with kids in car