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Original poster

Were you attracted to your partner or husband at first sight?

130 replies

ChipsCheeseAndGravey · 20/09/2024 13:38

I was taking to a friend the other day who was saying how when she met her partner she was taken a back by how handsome he was (can’t say I see if I’m honest but I kept that to myself). It got me thinking - when I first saw my partner I didn’t think he was that attractive. He had and still does have a great face but he had this fucking awful haircut. He had a mullet with a rat tail I shit you not. My original plan was to leave after one drink, but about half way through the first pint I knew he was the one for me, rat tail and all. Now the haircut is a distant memory and we both laugh about it. But I want to know:

Were you attracted to your DP or DH at first sight?

If not, how long before you were physically attracted to them and what changed?

OP posts:
MayaPinion · 20/09/2024 15:39

Yes, we met through OLD and I got a train to meet him. He met me at the station and it took every ounce of strength I had not to hold his hand immediately - the pull was just so strong. I’m not a believer in ‘the one’ but it felt like some sort of magnetic attraction. Luckily he found me not unpleasant and 9 years on we’re still going strong

IMustDoMoreExercise · 20/09/2024 15:42

Yes, then I was disappointed to hear that he was married but later I found out that he had separated from his wife as she had had an affair.

AddictedToBooks · 20/09/2024 15:42

Yes - first saw him the morning after I'd left home and I was sat in my little flat and saw the most gorgeous 6'4" redhead crossing the carpark in a long black coat and full of confidence. I had a crush instantly.
He was a neighbour and we became friends and one day we admitted we liked each other, he bought me an engagement ring the next day and I moved in with him 3 days later and gave up my flat.
We married 2 years later and have now been together for 26 years and still happy and still in love.

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Dating General relationships
TheShellBeach · 20/09/2024 15:42

Yes, I was immediately attracted to him.
His looks, his voice, his sense of humour.

I fell in love within a fortnight and we've been married for 25 years now.

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 20/09/2024 15:43

Yes. DW when I met her ticked all the boxes.

OnNaturesCourse · 20/09/2024 15:43

I definitely was attracted to DH right a way.

We were very young, in a club and had a few mutual friends. The first night I seen him I didn't actually meet him. Just seen across the room.

The next day I was speaking to said friend and said I had seen someone that ticked all my physical boxes so to speak and they instantly said my DH name. Clearly I have/had a type 😂

DH approached me the next time we were all out and the rest is history as they say.

Catlover1705 · 20/09/2024 15:45

Yes, instant attraction, not felt it before or since.

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 20/09/2024 15:47

Yes. He isn't classically handsome but when he smiles, his face come alive.

Married 22 years and we still can't believe how lucky we were to have met. I had never met anyone I wanted to marry until I was 40 and I met him in the October, got engaged at Christmas and married the following June.

He is sick now. He has recently had a devastating diagnosis and I think I am likely to lose him sometime over the next two years. I am going demented with grief as our life together has been an absolute blast and no other human being on this planet has ever come close to him for his qualities.

showersandflowers · 20/09/2024 15:47

Not even nearly. Thought he looked awful. Was a right fixer-upper.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/09/2024 15:49

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 20/09/2024 13:39

I have a rather specific taste in men and he ticked all the boxes.

So did I. He didn't tick any of them.

But he bounced in, looked me straight in the eyes, smiled and said hello and it hit the pair of us at the same time.

Beansandneedles · 20/09/2024 15:49

Yeah something bizarre happened when I met my husband. I was playing the field, mid late 20's, zero desire to settle down then met this guy in a board game cafe and it was like a frickin gong went off...this is it, if you ever want a life with 'the one', it's him.

Button28384738 · 20/09/2024 15:50

Not physically attracted no, but attracted to him as a whole person yes. Which hopefully makes sense!
He's good looking but not male model "phwor" attractive, he also isn't my usual type tbh because I always went for dark muscly types before but DH is blonde and slim (quite skinny when we met). I obviously did become physically attracted to him after a couple of dates

Alltheworldisastage · 20/09/2024 15:53

Yep. Felt like I'd been hit with a bolt of lightning. I saw him do a comedy double take from across the bar as well 🤣

Original poster
ChipsCheeseAndGravey · 20/09/2024 15:53

My DP says the whole “I knew you were the one the first time I saw you” thing but the first time he saw me wasn’t the first time I met him. He saw me at a Halloween party at my flat (i actually looked great so i can see why he wanted to talk to me) and I apparently he tried to talk to me but I disappeared (went to bed) and he begged my flatmate to set us up for a month and half. A lot more men that I’ve spoken to say they were instantly physically attracted to their wives than vice versa. This thread is where I’ve heard the most women say they were instantly physically attracted to their man.

OP posts:
OneLilacPeer · 20/09/2024 15:58

I was a last-minute fill in blind date when DH's date cancelled on a double date with his best friend and his girlfriend (my good friend). My friend is the one who called me and convinced me to go and I wanted to know what was wrong with the guy/how weird looking he was that his date would cancel just hours before and with a really lame excuse. I distinctly remember my first impression when I saw him was, "Oh, he's totally cute!" 😆 And he was very nice to me despite being absolutely gutted that the girl he really fancied had left him. By the end of the evening, I was thoroughly sympathetic to him and thought the girl who cancelled on him was a total idiot who had no idea how lucky she was.

Six years later, we saw each other again and it was his turn to feel that instant attraction, while my thoughts were more along the lines of, "there's DH he was a really nice guy... he's put on a bit of weight." 😂

Oganesson118 · 20/09/2024 15:58

I'm not sure, I don't think it was exactly at first sight but when we got chatting and spent a bit of time together a few days after we first met then I was attracted to him.

ThirstyThursday · 20/09/2024 15:58

He's an Ex now unfortunately, but yes, he walked into the room and I knew! We had many wonderful years together & I can still feel that feeling I had when he walked into the room.

my current bloke, no, I thought he looked 'nice' but assumed he was my Dads age🫨
very grey hair & Dad bod. When I learned he was not my Dads age. He turned from 'nice' to 'sexually attractive instantly!

the 'minor players' in between some yes/some no.

IdahoGal · 20/09/2024 15:58

Yes and we went on a date the day we met, got engaged 2 weeks later and married 2 months after that date. Celebrated 37 years this month, so I guess it worked!

Sourisblanche · 20/09/2024 15:59

@ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley I’m so sorry.

I was very attracted to future DH. Super tall with wide shoulders and a strong jawline. Then he started speaking and was obviously Dutch. It was a done deal at that point even though I wasn’t looking for a long relationship. Been together 22 years.

TakeMeToKernow · 20/09/2024 16:02

Nope. Not at all. In fact, I can recall during a bored moment thinking through males I knew to decide if they were attractive, and I put him in the “nope” pile.

But as we got to know each other, we ended up getting on really well, being on each others wavelength, made each other laugh. It still didn’t occur to me to fancy him though!

Till one lunch with mutual friends, everyone else had to leave, and I realised he was flirting with me. A lightbulb went on. That was 15 years ago.

Worldgonecrazy · 20/09/2024 16:05

Current one - yes. Previous ones, no. I used to buy into the myth that looks we’re not important.

Thankfully I found a man who is sexy as hell, and a decent bloke too.

LimeSqueezy · 20/09/2024 16:05

Absolutely yes. The first time I met him I knew he was the one. I'd have quite happily married him and had babies straight away which would have been stupid but I was head over heels in love with him and knew it was inevitable.

BubziOwl · 20/09/2024 16:08

No. I wasn't really into him and didn't see it going anywhere, honestly for the first two months of dating... he was extremely nice which is why I kept going on more dates. Then eventually I started to feel something🤣

Snippit · 20/09/2024 16:08

YES, after 40 years I still find my husband sexy, gorgeous and funny. He’s been there for me through thick and thin and me for him, especially my menopause 🤪I realise we’re really fortunate to have our relationship and I never ever take it for granted. Some new friends recently were shocked that we’d been together for so long, two of them were on their third marriage 🥴

Echobelly · 20/09/2024 16:09

Our eyes met across a crowded dance floor, I thought he was cute. When we met again in daylight I saw for the first time what amazing colour his eyes were, I hadn't actually realised he had something I really like, which is dark hair and pale eye colour. He thought I was cute and was very much his type (he has always like women with very short hair, as I had at the time) but worried at first if I was too young for him - I was 24 but did look in my teens.