Help me get over being so short

[BodyHate78999]

Name changed because I'm aware how ridiculous I am.
I'm 4'11 and hate it. I mean really hate it and it's taking over my life. When I was younger I played up the 'cute' which I can't do as a 40 something. I'm otherwise healthy, solvent, succsessful.... but I can't get over the 'short'. I haven't dated in years because I worry about being such a disappointment when I turn up. I'm getting a bit obsessive about it, to the point I get to client meetings etc early so I'm already sitting down.
This isn't something I can admit in real life because I'm fully aware I'm ridiculous. I'm otherwise objectively attractive but I hide away because I'm so unhappy with my height.

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My DP is 4’ 10’ and is very senior in her job. She is definitely not cute. She sometimes wishes she were taller, but it has not affected her career or love life. Size of personality is much more important!

That's 5' 1 and 5' 9" to save anyone else having to look it up! You are too old to be doing height in cms. Plus 5'1 is two inches taller than the OP.

5'9 also isn't short for a man. That's about average height I would say.

My Dad is short for a man. He's about 5' 6.

Does he not crick your neck. I'm 5' 3 and can't cope with going out with anyone over about 5' 10. I have to look up too far which hurts my neck and just they seem too far away!

It's the proportions. You can be short and still have comparatively long legs, Kylie Minogue for example who I think is 5 feet tall.
No, I don't think men go for tall women necessarily.

4'11" here.
The only time I wish I was taller is now I'm menopausal and have put on loads of weight. Short and petite was ok... short and fat and I look like a hen.

@BodyHate78999 my mother's the same height as you and never been short of a man!😅shes 43 and honestly doesn't care about her height and neither has anyone she's dated. If someone can't look past your height why would you want them anyway? You'll be fine. Get out there and enjoy life. Fake it until you make it via giving a don't give a sh*t attitude😅

I'm just over 5 foot. Your height isn't your personality. Just act with confidence. I know many formidable short people.

I'm shorter than my mother and both my grandmothers, who were all short. Also, I've shrunk with age (now 154 cm). As I said, all three of them were short but strong, memorable women, so it's normal for me that I'm a strong character too (in my mother tongue there is a saying "a short woman is dynamite", which helps somewhat).

It is annoying being short, though. I've finally bought a stepladder for home after making do with my daughter's toddler step stool for many years (my DH did not see the point of having one, duh!).

Date if you feel like it. Do tell the dates what your height is before you show up, though. It's a nice selection criterion - any man (or woman) who would not meet you because of your height definitely is not worth your attention.

@BodyHate78999 don’t stop socialising !!! That is crazy! Some men like tall women some like short, just personal preference.

and you are slim as well which means clothes shopping easier (which is my only bug bear for being short).

I’d book in some therapy sessions as really this is holding you back and it shouldn’t

Oh yes and everyone !!!! News alert - I went to a yoga retreat and randomly got measured the day after and had grown 1.9cms!!! From
all the yoga.

I don't understand what an -ie name has got to do with this?

You've got hung up on the height issue even though you know you're attractive. Can you make it a priority to 'cure' this hang up in the next six months? It's the hang up that's the problem not the height.
A few suggestions ( though I'm sure you'll find your own way):

1. Find a therapist and ask for their help getting over this.
2. Use a personal shopper or stylist to find flattering clothes.
3. Google successful women under 5'. Spoiler alert ... there are loads
4. Pursue an interest that you have that is not to do with appearance.
5. Finally, date if you want to. If you fear OLD will pull in pervy men just get out and about more and do more of what you love ...YOLO so it would be a crying shame if you dont make the most of the one precious body you've been given .

These would work under long trousers to hide them

www.beserk.com.au/products/frankie-platform-boots?variant=40560176300166

My husband says he’s 5’10, but I think he’s probably only 5’9. I think he’d secretly love it if I was short. Sadly for him, I’m pretty tall.

OP, I think the only thing that might help you is some therapy. I can understand you don’t like being short, but it shouldn’t be something that’s clouding your life.

As icky as it seems, I think some men quite like shorter women.

What on earth is 'icky' about men who find shorter women attractive?

Surely you aren't suggesting that it's because they are likely paedophiles and they bizarrely think that a shorter woman is somehow 'more like a child'?

Just to offer another side, I'm tall. Now I tend to prefer my partner to be taller than me (don't shoot me, we all have preferences) and men tend to prefer their partners to be smaller than them, which sort of rules out a lot of men for me. And me for them.

But the dating world is your oyster! You can snap up a lovely 5'5" man and you get to feel 'cute' if you want, and he gets to feel tall. It's a win win. I think you would be surprised how many nice men get overlooked because of their height but it wouldn't be an issue for you presumably.

You just need to reframe things a bit and see the advantages where you can.

I’m short too, with quite a baby face as well. When my daughter was about 7, she wanted to go on the bouncy castle and the man asked if I was going on too as he thought I was her sister. Oh the shame 😳 She’s also been taller than me since she was about 12 and rests her arm on my head 🙄

I'm 5 foot 3 and people are obsessed with my height so yes people are odd

My brother used to do the arm resting thing too. Drove me mad!

I'd focus being on solvent and healthy. I'm taller but fucked financially. Maybe have some therapy? And if you want to date, put your height on your online profile. It's really not a big deal.

My goodness! What a waste of your life! I'm 4 ft11 and size 20. I'm 53 years old. I decided years ago to never, ever give a toss about what people might think about being so short. I'm quite ballsy and outspoken which helps. Occasionally people might mention my height. Well I just laugh along and say something like "you might be confusing me with someone who gives a shit!" They laugh, I laugh and we don't give it another thought. The only time I can find it difficult is in a big crowd of densely packed people. Haven't done that for years though. Embrace it OP and sod the lot of them!

I'm 5ft and can honestly say the only time I'm bothered about my height is when I can't reach something on the top shelf in a supermarket!

I’m really short, just under 5ft, and it bothers me less now I’m older than it did before. I’ve just accepted that I’m more Shetland pony than racehorse.