Help me get over being so short

[BodyHate78999]

Name changed because I'm aware how ridiculous I am.
I'm 4'11 and hate it. I mean really hate it and it's taking over my life. When I was younger I played up the 'cute' which I can't do as a 40 something. I'm otherwise healthy, solvent, succsessful.... but I can't get over the 'short'. I haven't dated in years because I worry about being such a disappointment when I turn up. I'm getting a bit obsessive about it, to the point I get to client meetings etc early so I'm already sitting down.
This isn't something I can admit in real life because I'm fully aware I'm ridiculous. I'm otherwise objectively attractive but I hide away because I'm so unhappy with my height.

Move further north. At 5’ 2” in the midlands I was always one of the shortest, moved to Manchester and, whilst I’m definitely still in the shorter half, there was suddenly loads of women shorter than me!

I’m at the other end of the scale and am 6ft 2 and would love to be shorter… I’m a female Hagrid and have been asked if I’m a man in drag due to my height … sigh !

My mum is 4'11". She's always hated it. So much so that she lies about it. At medical exams she'll say she's 5ft. There was some mean song about short people when she was younger and it used to make her angry. I guess she got teased over it. She used to wear heels even though they hurt her. Honestly, it made me desperate to grow taller. I had no control over that, but I'd just taken on her self hate about this. In adulthood, I learned how sad it was that she felt this way. She's lovely, she's perfect, her height wouldn't feature in the top 100 amazing qualities she has.

I am also 4’11 and in my 40s. As a grown adult with a driving licence I once got refused to go on the go karts at Blackpool pleasure beach because I didn’t meet the height requirements. I was FUMING at the time. Now I just find it funny.

Start deadlifting, being short is definitely an advantage for that.

And there’s always enough leg room on planes.

Focus on the things you like about yourself. You’ll be fine x

I'm short 5'3 my dp is 6"foot all
My previous partners have had a preference for short women. Apparently makes them feel manly , so just be you.

I'm the same height and funnily enough it's recently started bothering me too (late 30s). So no advice but I do completely get it.

I’m 4’11 too & I detest the word cute. I never understand why people talk about it as if it’s a good thing & I’ve always been grateful that I didn’t get given an -ie name.

It hasn’t affected me at work as far as I know - not since my early 20s anyway - and I’m not interested in men so not an issue there.

On the other hand it can be a right pain at the supermarket.

I'm 4" 9". Height is an obsession inn the U

I'm short and have always considered it a positive or neutral but never a negative (except when I want something off a shelf). Admittedly I'm 5ft 2 (156 cm) so not as short as you, but both my mum and my MIL are shorter than me, MIL shorter than you, and seem to have found finding dates easy. I hope you can start seeing the positive sides of it too. I don't think anyone will be disappointed by your height at all!

I think you're blowing it way out of proportion - most people don't care or give you more than a passing thought. I'm 5 ft and find not being able to reach things annoying 😒 I have a tall husband and 5 tall sons who all think it's funny that when I hug them I only come up to their middle! I remind them that I grew all of them in this little body!

I would love to be tall & slim....but I'm not and never will be 🤷‍♀️ you only have one life OP - don't waste it over something that you can't change. Get on with life and grab it by the balls! Nobody is judging you and making assumptions about you because you're short!

In the UIK. It really is of no consequence in the rest of Europe. You are who you are- own it.

I'm the same height as you and wouldn't change a thing. It's part of who I am. Honestly you just need to embrace it at this point,
I have a colleague who is young, tall, stunningly beautiful & I just found out she's recently had a boob job. I was shocked as to me she is society's version of perfect or near enough. Just goes to show that everyone has their hang ups. If you were tall you'd be on here grumbling that you wished you were shorter!

Two weeks ago I was the same height as you @BodyHate78999. I'm having tests done at the moment and have to be weighed regularly at the surgery. The nurse measured me the first time and I've lost an inch!! 148 poxy CMs now😥I'm 53 and it never used to bother me but now I'm just wondering how much more I'll shrink as I age.

Think about speaking to your GP, and maybe get some counselling

I'm the same height as you. I don't give a shit. And I don't wear heels.

I've met some small and young looking woman in my profession. Of course I notice . But once they speak and they have a good awareness of the job and communicate effectively and with some authority about the subject , that first impression goes out of the window and i see just the worker. Do you need help with styling yourself now you are older, personal dresser experience to find a style you prefer? Develop your voice. Sounds like you've lost yourself along the way. Hope you find a way to value who you are and what you know.

I am just under 5ft and in my 40s. It's a talking point and a bit annoying for buying clothes/bags/fitting in seats etc but otherwise I don't mind. It's very useful now I have kids that I can easily fit in soft play structures and go down slides. Also never have a problem with leg room in theatres, buses etc.

People tend to think I am a bit younger than I am, which tbh is nice now I am heading into middle age...!

Op im 4f11 as well but i love it.

I think this is just your perspective as a short woman. I'm tall and most men tell me they like tall women.

It's also unkind (and untrue) to say "tall women are the losers."

To anyone feeling bad about their height, whether you're tall or short, you can't change it so just accept yourself as you are.

My size doesn't limit how mentally tall I am.

And zooming we're all sat down.

Nor Dollie 🤩
Madonna,
Kim Kardashian
Simone Biles
Queen Elizabeth II

I'm 5'1" and love it.

Bargain clothes and shoes for teeny feet are always still there in the Sales, but yes, as a PP said, don't even bother with the long dresses in supermarkets. 😂
M&S & Next Petite are better. I usually shop online or mooch in charity shops.

Same. I feel like an awkward lumbering giant most of the time next to others who seem so delicate
If I didn't have a herniated disc I would be a great powerlifter!

I feel the same too. Photo of some pretty girls and this ogre (me) in the background. I just want to fit in, not stick out like a sore thumb. I would love to have unicorn trainers, but they don't even do women's trainers in my size, let alone pretty ones.

I'm the same height, hated it when younger and always wore heels. Now, it only annoys me because of the hassle of trying to get trousers that fit well. I've ditched the heels and increasingly, since I hit about 43, just don't care what anyone thinks. All that oestrogen that used to make me want to please others has taken a nosedive.

People at work take me seriously even though all the kids tower over me (work in a secondary school) and it doesn't stop me doing anything. Husband is 5'7", my best friend (who is a man) is 5'4". I think they both like it that I'm shorter than them. And I still occasionally get taller men hitting on me so it obviously doesn't put them off... even though I'm average looking at best.

Trust me, nobody else cares, they're too busy worrying about their own problems and insecurities. The only people who have ever commented negatively have been casting directors - I do a fair bit of acting (who think I'm too short to play roles opposite the man they have in mind). So I've stopped auditioning for leading lady type roles and go for 'character' parts.

Time spent worrying about things you can't change is time wasted. You are great just as you are! Embrace your size and try to find the positives!