Shall I leave dd to sort her own food

[Dustybrain]

Dd is 14 . I'm getting really fed up with her at dinner time. And it's every dinner time. I don't have the best food at the moment but dd does eat it. Its pizza , fish gingers, chips chicken nuggets. Pies Jacket potato's, pasta . Pasta sauce cheese eggs ham , veg fruit .

I'm awear this is not the best food. But she does eat it when it suits her. I m transferring over to uc which means I do not get much money at all until uc kicks in so I had to fill up the freezer.

Everyday she's asking for money for the shop . Every day I'm telling her I do not have the money.

Shall I tell her from now on she sorts herself out because I'm really fed up with it now.

I think you just need to be clear that the only option is what you're cooking. And stick to it.

Does she have any pocket money she can budget out for when she REALLY wants a treat (not every day)?

Ha ha you are not alone!
My 14 year old didn't join us for tea tonight despite calling her numerous times - too busy on her phone so thought sort yourself out.
She has just this minute wondered into the kitchen and asked when did you have tea!!
Sick to death of tea time with her moaning grumbling swearing being horrible to her siblings so she can please herself - hoping it's an age thing and will pass!!

Paper round is from 14 isn't it? I'd be telling her you've already said no because you don't have it, but if she's so desperate then she can get a job and make her own money.

DS is 12 and he sometimes cooks his own tea if he wants it earlier or later than we're having it. A 14yo can definitely do that!

What I don't want to do is cook food for it to be wasted .

My ex ( not her dad) gives her 10.00 a week give or take a couple of days. She spent it on taco Bell.

What food is it she wants? The things you've got in don't sound great to me, but I would have thought they were a teenagers dream.

Given she's 14, and you can't afford to give her money, I'm not really sure how she can "sort her own dinner out".

Maybe talk to her about what foods she'd like before you do the next shop, and sort out a meal plan together. There's plenty of lovely cost effective food that isn't beige freezer stuff. Dhals or veggie traybakes or bean chilli for example. Or a roast chicken eaten over a couple of days can be quite cost-effective.

What food does she want?

YABU not to feed her a healthy diet.

Dd is 14

That's a yes, let her figure it out.

There's no paper rounds in this area anymore it's all on line.

That's what's pissing me of the most I'm constantly on repeat. I do not have the money over and over again .and then her attitude. Rince repeat.

Oh yes she can definitely do it. But she can't be bothered. I'm basically asking her because im cooking for the younger kids . I would not mind if she just said she will sort herself later. But she does not. She just moans about the crap food she doesn't want it .

I think I will because I'm fed up with it .

What does she know how to cook? My DD12 can cook herself pasta with frozen veg makes a white sauce it’s her favourite basic tea, or noodles. I batch cook chilli or spaghetti bog, pasta bake in fridge plus options like beans on toast. Giving options can help give them back control. We eat together 3-4 nights others we don’t because of different work or activities. I’ve also got a 17yr who also sorts her own tea when our schedules don’t align 4n a week.

She wants to go to the shop and gey a microwave meal .

I already explained why the food shop is a bit messed up. But there are vegetables that can go with the food to make it a little better . The fact is she will eat it when it suits . Money Is extremely short at the moment. Till mlbru kicks in .

It is crap food though. I'm not surprised she moans about it.

I understand that money is short but there are better meals you can make on a tight budget.

I'm.not going to keep going in circles about the food i bought. I have already said dd will eat it when it suits her. I have also said its only till uc kicks in . So its only temporary

How long until you shop again,, next week? Can you get her to help you make a meal plan for next week? Plan in a few of her favourite meals so she has something to look forward to. Ask her to choose one day/recipe she wants to cook for everyone.

She isn’t asking for something more gourmet though is she? She wants to go get a different simple meal.

my child has Arfid so we have to cater to her just to keep her weight up. Around 12 I did start expecting her to prep some of her own food. Not everything, but some. It’s not just about complexity in our house, it’s about what triggers her disorder, but that is a different post.

If she were asking for fresh meat or vegetables, I would have more sympathy, but if she wants a ready meal, it sounds more like feeling deprived or bored than not actually being fed well.

I would propose the two of you look for creative ways to combine your available ingredients. If you have some soy sauce and rice, chicken nuggets and vegetables can become a stir fry. That sort of thing.

No I can't shop next week . My first payment of uc won't be in then

I'm sure her moaning is annoying but there isn't really an option here. You've bought the food. You can't afford to buy other food. She can eat it, make something from whatever you have in the house, or go hungry. You're not being unreasonable because it sounds like you simply can't do what she wants. On the other hand, you might have to put up with her being unhappy about it.

Firstly ignore people on here there is nothing wrong with freezer food. I would say to your daughter I'm making x later do you want any making or not if she starts moaning about it say I will take that as a no then you can make yourself whatever you choose later but clean up after yourself. If she asks for money for the shop the answer is no their is food in the house. Migrating over to universal credit is awful I hope it's not to much longer for you

How old are the other dc? Is the uc going to be your only income, her dad and the £10, is that his only contribution?

My ex is not her dad . There's dla as well.

I think that's what I will do. I will keep it short and sweet. I'm not even going to explain

She's 14. She really ought to be able to take on board that at the moment, you just don't have any money to buy what she wants, and there is nothing either you or she can do about it.