Shall I leave dd to sort her own food

[Dustybrain]

Dd is 14 . I'm getting really fed up with her at dinner time. And it's every dinner time. I don't have the best food at the moment but dd does eat it. Its pizza , fish gingers, chips chicken nuggets. Pies Jacket potato's, pasta . Pasta sauce cheese eggs ham , veg fruit .

I'm awear this is not the best food. But she does eat it when it suits her. I m transferring over to uc which means I do not get much money at all until uc kicks in so I had to fill up the freezer.

Everyday she's asking for money for the shop . Every day I'm telling her I do not have the money.

Shall I tell her from now on she sorts herself out because I'm really fed up with it now.

Look I've had a 14 yr old DD (two of them, in fact).

They can be fussy little so-and-sos. They want every meal to look like it's come from Nando's. One of mine went through a phase of saying "ugh can't you calm it on the carbs" when I served perfectly normal (and home cooked from scratch) meals like spag bol or dhal and rice. The other refused to eat home made soup for about 5 years (we have a soup night once a week, proper hearty soups like harira or leek&potato or carrot&lentil or minestrone) and would push it round her bowl complaining that it "looked like baby food". Now she's an adult and left home, she bloody loves my home made soup (and Little Miss Calm It On The Carbs is now a total pasta fiend 😂).

When money is tight, it's absolutely fine to serve basic food that will cover most nutritional requirements and keep tummies full. Sounds to me like that's exactly what OP is doing and she's said herself it's short term during a period with no money coming in.

The food bank suggestion is so odd . I honest could not take food from a food bank kneeing my freezer us practically full . Amd yes I forgot to mention we have bread milk cereals. Tinned beans , tinned spaghetti, bread, few other general bits

Have you got an Iceland or Heron near you? If so in future I’d give her £7 out of the shopping money and send her to choose 7 of their £1 microwave meals and tell her that’s her dinners for the week. Nothing from the cupboard or fridge. No extras, just her precious microwave dinner 😁. I’m mean like that though 😉.

I have never been to one either . But you only have to watch the news . And simlar to know the sort of food they have . And it's definitely much less choice than I have in my house.

I actually can't believe posters are advising going to food banks and community kitchens because a teenager doesn't fancy the food in the house and wants a microwave meal. Mumsnet gets crazier everyday

I know right? Absolutely ridiculous.

Imagine if I posted on here I took dd food bank as she did not want the food we have om the house 😅

I imagine you are frustrated at having such limited options so it's no surprise she is too. I'd try and team up with her. Agree things are a bit crap right now and try and make the best of it, see what meals you can come up with using the ingredients you have.
I don't think community fridge and Olio are bad suggestions tbf. My nearest community fridge is for anyone to use, they're always putting Facebook posts that it's open to all and Olio is the same isn't it?

"limited options" is hardly how I'd describe the list of food that OP posted

Pizza
Fish fingers
Chips
Chicken nuggets
Pies
Jacket potatoes
Pasta and sauce
Cheese
Eggs
Ham
Vegetables
Fruit
Bread
Cereal
Milk
Baked beans
Tinned spaghetti

That's a pretty reasonable and varied food selection, no? Ok it's not a different cuisine every night, and there's nothing fancy, but it's just basic normal everyday food, and a decent range of it too.

There's not really alot we can do with the food we have . But she's still got a freezer of food she can choose from .

There's no hope in hell of Me going to a food bank . I'm not taking from people that ( need) it.

The DD is not rejecting nuggets and chips because she wants a vegan stir fry packed full of pak choi and fresh ginger! She wants different ‘crap’ food, and is spending money she does get on fast food.

She’s being a bit of a brat. She’s old enough to understand money is tight and her mum is trying her best.

In my house you eat at dinner time with the family. If there are parts of the meal you aren’t keen on then I understand you don’t eat it but there’s no alternative offered and there’s never an option to go to the shop and choose your own food. End of. If you’re hungry later you can have some toast etc. she doesn’t need to understand the ins and outs of it, just that this is what’s on over, like it or lump it.

I have a 14,18 and 22 year old I do know that they’re like

Yes at the end of the day there's food in the house that she can eat. And does eat. It could be a whole lot worse and we could have needed a food bank. She's very lucky that we don't need one

From that list I'm struggling to understand what people actually think is wrong with that list of food, that literally looks like my shopping list. And that's not due to money that's just what we eat and if people where honest what most families eat the only thing missing is some meat which is a money thing but 🤷‍♀️

If I'm doing food like I have on the list . Then I let the kids choose it's all easy cook throw in the air fryer type stuff.

If I'm cooking a proper meal then 90% of the time we eat the same

I can’t cope with people suggesting food banks as if it’s a neatly stocked shop that DD can walk around and browse to her liking!!! 🙈 I despair at this site sometimes.

OP all you can do is weather these next few weeks - make it clear there is no more money, let her know when the next payment is coming in and tell her to start thinking of a few dinners/tea’s she’d like so you can go in and buy the ingredients when the cash comes in. Other than that you need to just let it roll of your back. Presumably dad will give her a tenner some time next week, that will keep her quiet for a day or two.

Normally I would have whats listed . Then as you say meat for us it would be chicken. Mince beef . And we would do a couple of different meals with them.

I would tell her to work it out herself.
She is a brat and can join you at dinner, do her own dinner or go hunngry. You have provide a good range of food. I wouldn't pay more attention to her.

Same

@Dustybrain Cant she heat it up?

I was just thinking . Where I say I do not have the money . Then I buy some milk bread . I wounder if she thinking actually I do have money and I'm just feeding her BS.

I don't really want to make Any promises or tell her to much regarding money and what we can /can't afford. It will be my first uc payment and I have heard the amounts are being messed up quite alot so I want to be sure of things first.

Heat what up?

You are not feeding her BS.

A lot of kids in UK are feed this.

Don't discuss with. It's her choice if she goes hungry.

Have a wild guess?

I'm thinking this. I'm not stopping her from eating. She has choices . I will sort what she chooses from home whilst I'm sorting the other kids . Or she can sort herself from home . And yeah it's probably best not to give it attention. I guess some of it will be teenage strops