Should neighbour noise be affecting me so dramatically?

[UtterKaos]

I'm pretty sure I'm NT but the longer my neighbours plague me with their noise, the more I start to feel that maybe I can't deal with it as well as other people. I just can't block it out.

For context, they moved in in May. It's a terraced house. Thin walls but no so thin that I could hear the people who lived there before as much as this.

All day, all night their TV is on. They never turn it off, only when they leave but they rarely leave their house, once or twice a week if that. It's on at full volume. It vibrates through the wall and I can feel it under my feet. It can be heard in every room apart from my bathroom. It's so loud I can hear words being spoken clearly and know exactly what they are watching.
It's so loud that I now wear noise cancelling headphones all the time. I put them on as soon as I open the front door and only take them off to shower. The headphones only dull the sound though and I can still hear their TV. I'm sure they have soundbars positioned along our shared walls.

It's now got to the point where I'd rather die than have to live like this. I know it sounds extreme and that's why I wonder if I'm not NT, if their noise just affects me more than it would affect others.

I can't make a complaint to the council as I'd have to declare it when I sell. They're homeowners, no landlord to speak to. I've spoken to them to ask them to turn it down countless times. I'm usually met with a grunt, a shrug of the shoulders and their door slammed in my face. Recently, they've also started banging on the wall. I feel I'm going mad but I honestly believe they're doing it on purpose to annoy me even more. They bang in the area where I believe their main TV is.

Today I cracked. I just wanted to die. I banged my head on the floor and screamed. I think I had a breakdown. I can't stand it any more. Am I overreacting? It's so unlike me. I'm usually calm and level headed. I hate myself like this.

Can you just knock on their door and ask them to turn it down?
Or invite them for coffee and bring the subject up?

I've asked them loads of times. I believe me doing this made it worse. I was always calm and polite but they just grunted at me and slammed door.

The special services are trained with this kind of torture. Everyone reaches a breaking point with relentless noise. Maybe talk to their neighbours on the other side as they must be getting irritated too? Or look into soundproofing (I get that will be expensive). But you can't carry on like this.

Noise is used as a form of torture, so I really feel for you.

I think that you have to record it and complain, especially if it is loud in designated quiet hours (11PM-7AM). Vibrating through the wall is totally unacceptable.

Yes, it might make your house trickier to sell but, if they are forced to sort it out, a new buyer would probably thank you for it. You have to ask yourself what is more important to you, peaceful enjoyment of your house now or a potential sale price in however many years when you come to sell it.

I definitely feels like torture. There's no building on their other side just a public path.

You’d rather slam your head on the floor and have a breakdown than go down the necessary legal routes to solve this? I’m sorry that’s just madness.

You need to complain to the council. Realistically any buyer who came round to view will hear the noise if it’s as bad as you say. So you have to do something about it. You can’t carry on like this

@NewtonsCradle ,

Sound proofing can improve things a bit, but it is far from perfect (I invested in it previously).

Firstly, it takes a lot of space and money for decent soundproofing. But, more importantly, low frequency sounds carry through the joists, so a heavy bass will still vibrate the wall and floor and easily be heard.

I feel I've become broken and can't stay a moment longer in my home. Any action I take now whether it be making a formal complaint or selling my house or soundproofing, will take time and I can't cope with another second of it. I'm afraid I'll lose my mind if I return. I'm wandering around outside now. Will probably stay at family or friends but I have pets and will have to take them with me wherever I go.

I know. I feel like I've lost my mind.

I’m been on the receiving end of constant loud noisy neighbours. It leaves you feeling constantly on edge. I don’t think the mental impact can be underestimated.

However, banging your head hard is an extreme reaction.

If you don’t want to make a complaint I suggest getting even. It worked with my neighbours. I became a noisy neighbour, not banging saucepans and ridiculous noise, I just lived like them, like I had no neighbours with no care what time it was. It was the only thing that worked.

This

Yes you have to get even in this situation. At the moment they think they can walk all over you. I suggest getting speakers and playing animal sex noises at full volume against the wall.

Can you stay somewhere else for a few nights to escape the noise? It sounds horrendous and it has tipped you over the edge.

The banging on the wall sounds very deliberate.

If possible have a few nights away to regroup then decide on a plan possibly involving your local council noise monitoring service, can't remember the proper name.

It sounds torturous, I hope it gets better x

Getting even is an option that may solve matters more quickly. I'm going to stay away tonight and tomorrow and leave the radio on full volume. I don't think they'll be able to hear it though.

It also is suggestive of ND which the OP has questioned.

Yes, it's tipped me over the edge. I totally recognise that. I've never reacted like that before to anything and was worried I might do something worse to hurt myself just to make the noise stop. I've never felt like this ever before, so out of control almost and like I'm losing my mind and I don't care.

This.
You need to record it and start logging the times, since the council will probably tell you to do this anyway. It might also be worth keeping a diary regarding the effect it is having on you.

Radio won't do it. You need to play something really annoying and get a speaker.

Honestly, if it as loud as you say, call the council noise team out.

I believe that if they are asked to turn it down and they turn it back up again, the council can seize the speakers.

It’s a case of losing perspective on this which is why we need to be the ones who bring back some sanity to the situation
I would rather lose 50k on the price of a house and make the noise stop than I would give myself a skull fracture.

This is what I thought. I imagine other people can put up with this level of noise better and that they definitely wouldn't react like this. This is is the only time I've considered it. I'm usually very calm and a pretty good problem solver at work and in other aspects of my life. Not with this though. its like this has brought out another side to me.

I had to sell my flat to escape this scenario. In my case, one of the couple was apologetic and friendly but had no control over their partner who had 24 hour plus parties. I put in soundproofing which helped a lot but my nerves were shot and I had to move, I didn't want to end up stuck there. I'd say you have to consider what is the better scenario- having to move or making a complaint? It'll depend on many factors which makes more sense for you.

I'd also recommend having the radio on low all the time and silicone earplugs for sleep- and a white noise machine.

Thanks for the advice. I feel a lot calmer since I left and went for a walk but the thought of going back fills me with dread and I hurt my head. I'm staying at a friend's so will have to return pack a bag and pets. I know it's over the top but I don't think I can actually go back inside just yet.

Put something horrendously loud and annoying on - love the suggestion of animal sex!

Put it unbearably loud and go out.

So not let them know you aren't home. Let them keep retaliating until they drive themselves nuts with noise and turn it down again.