Should neighbour noise be affecting me so dramatically?

[UtterKaos]

I'm pretty sure I'm NT but the longer my neighbours plague me with their noise, the more I start to feel that maybe I can't deal with it as well as other people. I just can't block it out.

For context, they moved in in May. It's a terraced house. Thin walls but no so thin that I could hear the people who lived there before as much as this.

All day, all night their TV is on. They never turn it off, only when they leave but they rarely leave their house, once or twice a week if that. It's on at full volume. It vibrates through the wall and I can feel it under my feet. It can be heard in every room apart from my bathroom. It's so loud I can hear words being spoken clearly and know exactly what they are watching.
It's so loud that I now wear noise cancelling headphones all the time. I put them on as soon as I open the front door and only take them off to shower. The headphones only dull the sound though and I can still hear their TV. I'm sure they have soundbars positioned along our shared walls.

It's now got to the point where I'd rather die than have to live like this. I know it sounds extreme and that's why I wonder if I'm not NT, if their noise just affects me more than it would affect others.

I can't make a complaint to the council as I'd have to declare it when I sell. They're homeowners, no landlord to speak to. I've spoken to them to ask them to turn it down countless times. I'm usually met with a grunt, a shrug of the shoulders and their door slammed in my face. Recently, they've also started banging on the wall. I feel I'm going mad but I honestly believe they're doing it on purpose to annoy me even more. They bang in the area where I believe their main TV is.

Today I cracked. I just wanted to die. I banged my head on the floor and screamed. I think I had a breakdown. I can't stand it any more. Am I overreacting? It's so unlike me. I'm usually calm and level headed. I hate myself like this.

Where would I find animal sex noises? On repeat? You tube? I think I'll have to change the settings on my TV as it turns off after a couple of hours of inactivity.

You mention it's a terrace house, so their neighbour the other side - can you have a chat with them and see if they hear the same?

OP this is NOT you being unreasonable or a snowflake. That degree of noise would have almost anyone on the verge of madness. So please stop thinking that this is in any way a problem with you.

Take some time away to give yourself a break and when you get back report the noise to the council. You are never going to sell with that amount of noise. If the council put a stop to it it will make it easier to sell, not harder, and even if you have to declare it that's not an issue if it's sorted. And who knows, if the council come down hard on them they may even move to start making their racket somewhere else.

Can you just read the OP properly? Reading comprehension on this site is terrible

Agree!!!

If you can somehow borrow a large speaker. Preferably the type used in gyms. Leave it right up against their bedroom wall and put a 24 hour drum and bass playlist on. I’m sure YouTube will have them. Then move out for a couple of days. I think your noise problem might solve itself

I found loud squealing noises and the like on you tube, also loud crying babies etc, so they can't say you're annoying deliberately, hey its just neighbours noise🤷 I put a sound bar against the wall and left it. Then I slammed doors at all times of day, unexpectedly still didn't stop them completely but they toned it down , then the cunts moved hurrah. Good luck op, I am Nd and it nearly drove me mad

I actually don't think you're over-reacting at all OP. It sounds awful.

While I agree this sounds incredibly annoying, I wonder why they have the TV on so very loud. It can't be pleasant in their house either.
I know this doesn't solve the problem - but is it possible that there is a hard of hearing person sitting in front of the telly all day?

Legal routes take ages, this is daily torture for the OP and she’s clearly at breaking point. Noise is used for torture for a reason, it’s soul destroying, your home should be your haven and you shouldn’t have to leave it to escape the noise.

Give her a fucking break.

Oh this sounds dreadful. You have my sympathy. Neighbour noise is horrendous. The people who suggest asking them to turn it down or to invite them over for coffee live in a bubble and haven’t had neighbours like this.

As I see it your options are either sell or go down the formal complaints route. Personally I’d look into selling.

It’s not about giving someone a hard time. It’s about advising the OP to stop thinking about the value of her house and start taking the required steps to make these noisy bastards stop.

@UtterKaos This sounds awful, it would drive anyone to breaking point so don’t start questioning yourself. I agree with PP, book a couple days away if you can and leave something on so they get a taste if their own medicine.

If not you must speak to your council who deal with this kind of thing, you can’t live like this forever.

Maybe a pair of noise cancelling headphones in the interim to help when it’s really bad but no one deserves to live like this and I’m really sorry this is happening to you x

I know this won't solve anything long term but as an autistic person who has previously struggled with neighbour noise there was only one thing that worked for me in the short term until I could move.
I used my noise cancelling headphones and connected them to my tv and phone and played white noise. You might not be the sort of person who is OK with white noise though. But for me a constant steady noise that I was in charge of was far more preferable to other people's unpredictable noise.
So like you, I'd put them on immediately after getting through the door, the headphones were connected to the TV so if I was watching tv I could only hear it through my headphones, then if I wasn't watching tv I would just play white noise in my ears. Including throughout the night. Occasionally I'd even watch tv with subtitles on with white noise playing in my ears via my phone Bluetooth.
I have now moved to a detached property more rural in order to not have to deal with that again. It was unfortunately the only way.

Which she is asking for advice about, she’s clearly worried and thinking about all eventualities and what effect this will have on a house sale which is completely understandable.

You didn’t need to point out that you think she’s overreacting in what is a very stressful and distressing situation, to which people would have different reactions to. It doesn’t help to give your opinion on whether you think she’s being extreme because you aren’t living her life. That’s what I mean.

I had neighbours move in who behaved like this and it destroyed my mental health I became a nervous wreck. The only thing you can do is move. You may like where you live and moving will cost you a lot of money. Leaving was the best thing I did they would have had to carry me out that house if I'd stayed any longer.

Constant noise can break anyone, nd or not.
I cried to council then gp (who prescribed aleeping pills) etc. I was luckily renting so we moved as soon as contract was done. Agency or landlord just shrugged🤷

I agree with others about if you can stay elsewhere for few days to clear your head

Well you can make the kind, sympathetic posts and I can do the straight talking practical posts. We will balance each other out and hopefully the OP will be galvanised into solving this issue.

You aren't over reacting. What makes this so hard is that you have been really brave in asking them, and they've reacted so badly. You feel at their mercy now.

If they react so badly, I don't think it's a good idea to get into playing really loud noises back. To react
as they have so far means they are not nice and will get worse if you do it back.

You have absolutely no choice here but to complain in writing to Environmental Health at the Council. It must be in writing. You need to document how long, how regularly, your attempt to address it. The Council should at least send them a warning letter.
Councils used to have Anti social behaviour departments. They may still so I would also find them and speak to them. After, it goes in writing.

The other option is to just try sell or rent it out and move.

I feel your pain, my old NDN used to play drum and base music so loud in their garden I get panic attacks when my new neighbour has their radio on in their kitchen quietly whilst cooking. 2 years later I'm still incredibly sensitive to noise and have the physical scars on my body of the breakdown I had because of it.

If you can, I'd look at moving it will be the only way of stopping it - DO NOT complain to the council, I made that mistake and it devalued my house by 30%+ according to the estate agent.

If not, fight fire with fire - play louder music, play louder TV put your own soundbar on the wall and turn up the bass. when they complain say its so you can hear it over theirs.

Well your original post offered no advice just sneering, I saw no practical advice just judgment. I make practical, supportive well reasoned posts without resorting to sneering which you’ll see from my posting history. The OP clearly needs support as she feels she has nowhere to turn.

I will not derail this thread circling on this.

If you worry about not being able to sell, an option we started (before the NDN did a runner from the bailiffs) was to sell to a newbuild and do a part exchange - expensive, but they wont care about noisy neighbours as much

She has already advised the neighbours have no neighbours but a pathway next to their house.

Definitely agree you should play (annoying) music as loudly as possible, all hours on repeat. Even very loud white noise would probably be annoying for them.

If neighbours bring it up with you, then say they need to lower their volume or you will continue

@Bringautumnnights wow. That is so unfair. It really does leave people stuck.

You really need to be determined and in for the long haul to do it back. If there's more than one of them and OP alone, plus ND potentially, that's going to be really difficult. Some people actually enjoy fighting.
I think I'd just want to make plans to move if these are the options