How often do your children see their grandparents?

[genuinelycuriouss]

We visit my partners family once every two weeks at a minimum and often once a week. Our child’s grandma says that she rarely sees our child. This just isn’t true is it? Or am I wrong and we should be going more?

My children haven't seen grandma since the day I left my cheating exH and she dropped me like a brick. 2 years this August.. her own cheating exH (grandpa) runoff to new Zealand with another woman before they were born so have never met him! I'm sad this is the situation we find ourselves in especially as my own parents have passed but not much I can do about it.

In person

Paternal Grandparents - 2/3 times a year

Maternal Grandparents - 1/2 times a year

This is due to a combination of distance, poor health and other factors.

We try to FaceTime/Zoom in between times but finding suitable times for everyone makes it harder.

My parents everyday until she started secondary, now a couple of times a week. - we live on the same road and they did the nursery and school runs for me.

Her paternal GParents about twice a year

I only met my maternal GFather once, my paternal GParents I saw once a week / nan looked after me when very young and mum was at work, then Tues-Thursdayish every school hols when we moved away.

Different families do different things, what she is saying though is she'd like to see them more, is that something you and they would be happy facilitating in person or remotely, she can attend their sports events etc if they have training or matches as they get older etc

Live very locally to one set, think walking distance (1) , quite local to another (2) and the third set live literally a few streets away (3. divorced parents..)

1 - atleast once a week, either at our home or theirs. They frequently babysit. We often just pop into their house for a cuppa, or when I just need a breather with the kids.

2 - again at least once a week, usually the same day and they take the kids for a few hours. Often see them outside of this too.

1 & 2 have key access to my house and me theirs. They are a fantastic support system.

3 - due to family falling out no time is spent with them. It's difficult and a sad situation.

Every family is different and there is so much to factor in (work, retirement, school hours, travel etc) Also a bit of come and go if possible, you got to them and they come to you or you meet up somewhere either routinely or spontaneously. If it's comfortable to you seeing more of the grandparents can be a great support system.

Maternal 3 x a week.

Paternal 1 x a month roughly.

My parents live in Australia.

We went there in October 2019.

They came here April 2023.

We will go there Christmas this year.

Paternal GPs are deceased.

I am afraid your child's GP moaning in your situation is quite simply incomprehensible to me.

My toddler sees his paternal grandparents three times a week. They look after him one day a week and the other times are just when my husband takes him over while I work.

He sees my parents once a fortnight, maybe.

My eldest sees both sets about once a fortnight as he's at school.

My mum will moan that she hardly sees them but she lives four minutes away and never asks. I'm the one that makes the plans.

I'm a Gran ( four Grandkids/ two step Grandkids) see them all at least 3 times a week.
Age range 19 to 4.
They want to see me and l want to sew them.

About once a week on each side. I'd be happy for them to see either side more.

Maternal: they moved to live near us (15 mins, were 3+ hours) when ds1 was little.
I went back to work when he was 7m and they were coming down, staying with us and doing 2 days a week childcare, after 6m said they were moving and took a out another 6m to do so.
Both children looked after by my mum 2 days a week, then 3 shorter days.
We'd usually also see them most weeks for a Sunday roast.
And I'd often see them with the children on my non- working day.
So, alot!

The childcare aspect tailed off, but we'd still see them most weeks for Sunday roast, and often maybe another time a week.

The "children" are now 22 & 18, and both still enjoy spending time with their grandparents and mostly ensure they are available for the Sunday roast when they are here.

Paternal: I split with their dad so they see them when they are with him. Probably 5/6/7 times a year, which is similar to before we split.

my kids see my parents usually 2-3 times a week and see my husbands mum about once every 2 months. My mum and dad are younger and closer

My children see their nan (my mum) at least 5 times a week which is a mixture of childcare, and just popping into see eachother, dinner at her house etc. I wouldn't be happy only seeing my mum once every 2 weeks

Their other nan (husbands mum) very rarely because she never asks about them and he never takes them over 🤷🏼‍♀️

My parents - once a week, sometimes more. We live just round the corner and as well as socially, they might have them after school or in an evening if I'm away for work and not home till late, or will help out by driving them to activities jn the summer when I'm at work.

Their dad's side, once a month - they live about 100 miles away.

Well there’s no standard answer is there. My parents live 5 hours away so we see each other 3-4 times a year, but for a few days at a time. My in laws live 20 mins away, both drive, are much younger than your average grandparents and they’re fit and healthy. They haven’t bothered seeing us in ten years, they’ve never met my youngest. How old is your child? Given that it’s the grandparent complaining, have they ever made the effort to come to you? Or offered to take your child out for a few hours every week or so?

My dc haven't seen my dc since 2012. We are nc. Youngest dc hasn't seen his paternal dgps since he was 3 months old.... Their choice.. And their loss.
Any relationship dgps have with their dgc is a privilege imo.

I'm sure you can take an average reading from the comments on this post and go from there, but it seems plenty to me.
We visit my parents most weekends, if we are away for the weekend, then we don't see them that week, if they are away we don't see them that week etc. If we are all available then we would at least make the effort to come over for some time on the weekend. We don't go over on weekdays. So we see them almost every weekend but sometimes that actually ends up being only once in a month if we're busy on opposing weekends.
And I consider us to spend a lot of time with my family, like well above average, based on the people I know in real life and their situations.
On the in-laws side.. granted they live abroad, but we see them like once a year at most.

Maternal grandparents- live near us and do childcare two days a week and we often see them on additional days too depending on what plans we have.

Paternal side (just Grandma)- lives four hours away but travels down regularly to help with childcare, or spend a long weekend with us. We go up 1-2 times a year.

Seems lots to me.

My parents - 20m drive - usually once every 2/3 weeks for an afternoon.

DMil (DFil no longer with us) - 2.5hr drive - usually once every 6/8 weeks for a full weekend.

One set live 200 miles away. We see them roughly four times a year (Easter, Summer, Christmas and one of the school half term holidays). Most years we have a family holiday together at either Easter or Summer to try to get DDs some extended time around their grandparents.

The other set live very locally, around a 20 minute walk but we only see them every two to three months so not very dissimilar to the grandparents that live a long way away. Mainly because they're busy with their own lives, away on holiday etc.

It sounds like plenty of time together. For us it works out as:

MIL - about once a month
FIL - about once every few months
My mum - 3 times a year
My dad - once a year

They range from living 2 mins away to 4 hours away but they all work full time (as do we) so what we have now works fine. It probably doesn't help that both sets are divorced so we have 4 of them to see separately.

Kids have always had equal time with both sets. Before they started school 1-2x per week. Since starting school and a huge number of after school clubs once every couple of weeks probably. In holidays they have children for at least a day each per week, then family socials. I don't know how people manage to fit in more. My kids have school, clubs, homework, friends and they need to sleep! I need to have some time at the weekend where I am not socializing with friends or family to rest!

My parents once a week for a full day (youngest) after school (eldest) they do my child car a day each (DP divorced and both remarried)
My mum and stepdad also take them out at a weekend occasionally as SDad works the day DM has the kids and likes seeing them
MIL - sometimes once a week (couple of hours at a weekend) sometimes less depending on what we have on, she sometimes picks eldest up from school on DH pick up day if he can’t

all live 20min drive away max though

Complicated relationship with all of them tbh, both come from ‘broken homes’. FIL has a horrible partner- she’s just so fucking rude, controlling, outspoken and difficult so we find it genuinely challenging to be around her. Subsequently only see FIL when he visits without her in tow, probably 3-5 times a year.

See MIL every birthday and Christmas.

My Dad isn’t around so never met my DC. My Mum probably same as FIL, 3-5 times a year.

Our family live is very much involved with each other and I see all of my 5 children and 8 grandchildren at least twice a week. We even holiday together once a year though we don’t normally have a full contingent due to individual leave patterns but we can generally have a very good long weekend camping trip with everyone there once a year. And if I don’t fancy cooking I can go to any of the homes for dinner any day of the week and they know there’s always a meal at mine for when they want it.

Dc see MIL maybe once every 6-8 weeks. She lives an hour away. They never see my family (last time was 5 years ago) as we are NC, but when we did see them, it was maybe every 3-6 months.