just got back from japan. omg wow.

[TheBlueHoney]

What a country! I saw much right there compared to Britain. 100x better infrastructure, friendlier people, safer street, luxury amazing looking roads, most well behaved children I've ever seen, modesty, people dress well, public transport etiquette, quality of food and healthy population, fantastic healthcare, longest life expectancy, lowest infant mortality, prices/affordability about same as London but get way more for your money everything better quality and no tipping culture, public bathrooms accessible everywhere and so clean and modern with built in tech. I could go on and on.

I must be blind, didn’t see the public porn displays, nor the cockroaches in Kyoto. Agree reg the maid cafes: we didn’t visit any maid cafes or characters or animals cafes.

I loved the order and cleanliness in public spaces and transport

IME quite a few people speak at least some English.
Otherwise, many restaurants and cafes have plastic food displays in the windows of the dishes on the menu (this is not just for foreign tourists, making them is kind of an art form in Japan!) and/or picture menus.
And I've found that even in tiny and/or greasy-spoon type places, an English menu, often hand-scribbled and crumpled is produced from out of a drawer or somewhere.

It's still fairly common for market and shop staff to use calculators, so often people can show you the price on the screen. Or shops often have electronic till displays, of course.

I also (generalisation I know) tend to find Japanese people very willing and keen to help. DP and I once asked a man for directions in the street in Tokyo and he walked us to where we needed to go, then bowed and turned back the way we'd come. We'd obviously taken him well out of his way.

We didn’t visit any maid cafes either, but they are everywhere and part of going is learning about what these things are! Went to a cat cafe, never again. That was an expensive mistake that left my boys a bit depressed. I should have researched that more, but they were desperate to go!

Tokyo and Hiroshima are very clean. Kyoto less so (we mostly visited the old town); Osaka same. But overall considering so many people live there, the cleanliness is pretty amazing. The cockroaches can’t be helped in such heat. The toilet shoe thing is pretty disgusting though!!

The schoolgirl porn mags were in the main magazine area in all the 7-11s or Dawsons, I can’t remember which.

I have family who live there and have been lucky enough to go several times and travel the country extensively.
It's fab, really interesting place, I love it.

There are many negatives! I wouldn't live there...

How does the "more respect" bit tally with the amount of sexual abuse? https://www.japantimes.co.jp/commentary/2024/04/10/japan/sexual-violence-japan-nhk-survey/#:~:text=High%20rates%20of%20sexual%20violence,many%20at%20risk%20of%20abuse.

Yes, I should have qualified. Tourists are (almost) perfectly safe in Japan but there is an endemic culture of paedophilia there as well as domestic violence.

I'm rethinking of doing an AMA about living in Japan, but I'd like input from @TanteRose and @GreenTeaLikesMe if possible?* *The Op's thread got a little derailed and I think people would find some of the topics interesting.

What, so if it’s culturally ok to be groped, upskirted, raped etc, then we should just put up with it? Cool 🙄.

This is the point I was making, surely cultures change and evolve.

We absolutely shouldn’t put up with it. But, what country or culture does this not exist in? Honestly, you just need to look at the news from the past week alone to know non of us are safe, anywhere, and least safe in our own homes.

Hi @soberholic
sure, I’ll contribute to an AMA
there have been a few AMAs over the years with people living here - we also had a long running thread in Living Overseas called Living in Japan, which was fun (that was about 10 years now!)
I’ve been on MN for nearly 20 years and there are a few of us here in Japan

That's true but there are degrees of acceptability and they are certainly varied depending on the countries values, it isn't a level playing field.

They didn’t make it illegal CSA till 1999 they still have the school girl skit that men love there 🤢

they have a housing issue as in no one can afford it

they have a high suicide rate mainly caused by the work ethic which is so sad.

misogyny is rife and women are treated as second class to men look at the tampering of women medical students.

having a baby or not is decided by men and very little pain relief is given if at all. Yeah you get to stay in a nice hospital for a week.

tourists yeah they love it but the under belly of it all for folks living there not so much

You’re right, there are some countries in this world I would never set foot in again. But, I think it’s easy to say one culture is misogynistic and dangerous for women when we forget ours is too. Plus, as a 50 year old women in someways the world is slightly safer for me now than when I was much younger, regardless of where I was.

Forgot DV you need proof of it
infidelity you need proof of it for divorcing as again men decide

The difference is I don’t ever think it’s acceptable, whether in the UK or Japan or anywhere. Saying that we have to see racism and sex crimes differently as Japan isn’t Western is batshit.

No there aren’t fucking degrees of acceptability!!

Paedophilia is unacceptable

Rape is unacceptable

Racism is unacceptable

End of fucking story

I don’t think it’s acceptable either. I did read it as saying that some cultures are far worse than others, more openly misogynistic and dangerous. I would say that is true, some of the things I experienced and witnessed in places like India was absolutely shocking and I don’t think I would ever have experienced anything like that in the U.K.. But, we can’t pretend that western countries aren’t also dangerous too.

No, I agree I don't think I've expressed that well, I meant some countries seem more progressive on these subjects and therefore safer but in reality that probably isn't true. As I posted earlier I think racism is racism is racism and mysoginy the same I think the meaning is no different wherever you are on the world.

@OrangeCrusherOrangeCrusher All female solo travellers I've met agree India is a challenge. What tempted you?

@TanteRose thank you 😊 - I'm sure it's been discussed, I've done it too, but it's always the same topics - no one ever mentions how boring Japanese TV is or about watching hanabi - and where to go (fukui!!).

A discussion between people who plan to stay in Japan forever is probs a little interesting.

@FlatWhiteExtraHot

Japan is big on hebephilia - not peadophilia.

@FlatWhiteExtraHot

Japan is big on hebephilia - not peadophilia.

I spent a year travelling overland across Asia. Then, I took a flight from China to southern India and then travelled up to Nepal. Everywhere else was great with no hassle. India was an absolute nightmare (because of the men) and quite the culture shock, even though I'd been in Asia for some time.

I agree that we can't act like our culture has a clean record on fetishising schoolgirls : I bought a DVD of Malory Towers as a nostalgic present for my gran recently and was immediately recommended schoolgirl porn by Amazon! Ffs- it made me really angry - why should innocent things be twisted by creepy men all the time? Obvs many men aren't like that, but far too many are..

But in Japan it's on a whole other level. We don't have schoolgirl cafes, we don't have a huge anime & manga culture of fetishising young or young-seeming girls for their cuteness & innocence. Ofc lots of anime/manga is fine, but there is a big market for the unpleasant stuff. We also don't have any bands now like AKB48, which is all about fetishising underage girls. Yes, Britney's schoolgirl thing was awful, but there us no equivalent sort of singer in UK now.

Sounds awful and hopefully they are doing something about it.

Not sure why we can’t focus on the positives though and try to incorporate some of it into other cultures.