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What is a wife supposed to do?

124 replies

Penage · 04/09/2024 19:15

If you're a wife and you had to write a job description, what would it be?

OP posts:
DadJoke · 05/09/2024 12:47

circular1985 · 05/09/2024 12:46

@Penage

What, in your opinion, makes someone a good wife?

The same as what makes a man a good husband.

Which is what?

Objectionhearsayspeculation · 05/09/2024 13:05

Survive whatever shitshow life throws at you and your spouse as a team without either of you being homeless, murdered or divorced.

Overbearingndn · 05/09/2024 13:13

DadJoke · 05/09/2024 12:47

Which is what?

In my opinion, mutual respect, kindness and empathy. How about you?

DadJoke · 05/09/2024 14:15

Overbearingndn · 05/09/2024 13:13

In my opinion, mutual respect, kindness and empathy. How about you?

Be a good supportive friend and helpmate; be in things together through thick and thin, share the drudge work fairly, be kind and loving in word and deed, make time for fun and communicate with and support your spouse.

Overbearingndn · 05/09/2024 14:18

DadJoke · 05/09/2024 14:15

Be a good supportive friend and helpmate; be in things together through thick and thin, share the drudge work fairly, be kind and loving in word and deed, make time for fun and communicate with and support your spouse.

Sounds perfect!

coxesorangepippin · 05/09/2024 14:19

Take lovers

Approach your marriage as if it's to Mr. Collins

invisiblecat · 05/09/2024 14:31

Being a 'wife' is not a job description.

hth

TheShellBeach · 05/09/2024 15:32

coxesorangepippin · 05/09/2024 14:19

Take lovers

Approach your marriage as if it's to Mr. Collins

🤣🤣🤣

MovingBird123 · 05/09/2024 15:44

Well, here's a Biblical suggestion, Eshet Chayil, sung on Friday nights in Jewish communities:

10 A woman of valor, who can find? Her worth is far beyond that of rubies.
11 Her husband’s heart trusts in her, and lacks no treasures.
12 She is good to him, never bad, all the days of her life.
13 She looks for wool and flax, and sets her hand to them willingly.
14 She is like a merchant fleet, she brings her bread from afar.
15 She rises while it is still night, and supplies provisions for her household, the daily fare of her maids.
16 She sets her mind on a field and acquires it; she plants a vineyard through the fruit of her handiwork.
17 Her loins are girded with strength, and her arms are mighty.
18 She sees that her business thrives; her lamp never goes out at night.
19 She sets her hand to the distaff; and her fingers work the spindle.
20 She stretches out her palms to the poor; she extends her hand to the needy.
21 She does not fear for her household on account of snow, for her whole house is dressed in crimson.
22 She makes covers for herself; her clothing is linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, where he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes cloth and sells it, and offers a girdle to the Canaanite.
25 She is clothed with strength and splendor; and laughs until the last day.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is upon her tongue.
27 She oversees the activities of her household, and never eats bread of idleness.
28 Her children stand and rejoice in her, her husband praises her.
29 Many women have displayed valor, but you rise above them all.
30 Grace is falsehood and beauty is vapid; a woman who fears God is the one who shall be praised.
31 Give her from the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

I write, gorging myself on the "bread of idleness"... I may also struggle to find a Canaanite to offer a girdle..

More info here: https://www.alephbeta.org/shabbat/eshet-proverbs-31-meaning-explained

Eshet Chayil: Meaning, Translation & More | Aleph Beta

By reading between the lines of Eishet Chayil, what deeper meaning can we uncover? What does it mean to be a "Woman of Valor" like we read about in Proverbs 31?

https://www.alephbeta.org/shabbat/eshet-proverbs-31-meaning-explained

Parker231 · 05/09/2024 17:48

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 05/09/2024 11:40

Are people on this thread not aware that "obey" is actually part of the traditional wedding vows? Tends to be removed nowadays but it has always been there.

Obey is only there if you want it. Why would any woman include it??

Needmorelego · 05/09/2024 17:52

@Parker231 you don't have to have any vows if you don't want to.
Just certain legal words
"I name take name to be my lawful wedded husband/wife" - if I remember correctly.
I didn't want to do vows. My (now) husband agreed to it so maybe that means he obeyed me 😂

Penage · 05/09/2024 19:22

TheShellBeach · 05/09/2024 11:27

No, not without some context.

Give over, half the OPs post and run, which is hardly surprising given the level of hostility.

OP posts:
Penage · 05/09/2024 19:24

Since a lot of posters seem to have their back up, let's rephrase the question - What makes a good spouse?

OP posts:
badgerpatrol · 05/09/2024 19:25

Penage · 05/09/2024 10:06

What, in your opinion, makes someone a good wife?

The same things that make a good husband or same sex partner.

Penage · 05/09/2024 19:27

Which are? @badgerpatrol

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 05/09/2024 19:27

Why are you being so curt?

The first reply nails it.

badgerpatrol · 05/09/2024 19:29

Penage · 05/09/2024 19:24

Since a lot of posters seem to have their back up, let's rephrase the question - What makes a good spouse?

I haven't got my back up, and obviously if you have a background of trauma and perhaps have never been loved or safe and are in an abusive relationship because you don't know any different then perhaps you genuinely don't know.
But even very young children have a lot of good ideas what makes a lovely spouse/parent/friend because most 'good' qualities are universal

XChrome · 05/09/2024 19:30

"what does loving and honouring (and obeying, occasionally) your husband actually look like in practical terms?"

A man who thinks obeying is any part of it, even "occasionally" looks like a man who will be getting dumped. That would be not only practical, but essential.

Benvolio · 05/09/2024 19:36

Loving the way OP can't hide his (presumably) affront when mumsnetters won't 'obey' him either!

Needmorelego · 05/09/2024 19:41

Penage · 05/09/2024 19:24

Since a lot of posters seem to have their back up, let's rephrase the question - What makes a good spouse?

My husband just got me a Pepsi Max from the fridge when I easily could have got it myself.
So that's good.....🤔

Overbearingndn · 05/09/2024 19:43

Penage · 05/09/2024 19:24

Since a lot of posters seem to have their back up, let's rephrase the question - What makes a good spouse?

A lot of people have answered OP. What do you think? What makes a good spouse?

PorridgeIsNotSlimmingTheWayIMakeIt · 05/09/2024 19:46

Penage · 05/09/2024 19:24

Since a lot of posters seem to have their back up, let's rephrase the question - What makes a good spouse?

Compatibility.

It's got nothing to do with deliberately chosen behaviour.

It's about a natural response to someone who "gets" you, and vice versa, so that you never find yourselves having to hide anything from each other, or having to explain something obvious until you're blue in the face. Instead, you always find yourselves laughing at another truth shared.

It's about enjoying someone's mind and personality so much that no one else really makes the cut.

Wanting the best for each other, unconditionally, is very easy in these circumstances - it's not some kind of selfless charitable pose.

TheShellBeach · 05/09/2024 20:11

What are your wife's failings, OP?

DadJoke · 05/09/2024 20:15

Penage · 04/09/2024 19:15

If you're a wife and you had to write a job description, what would it be?

It’s about time you answered this question yourself and gave us some context.

Penage · 06/09/2024 09:09

PorridgeIsNotSlimmingTheWayIMakeIt · 05/09/2024 19:46

Compatibility.

It's got nothing to do with deliberately chosen behaviour.

It's about a natural response to someone who "gets" you, and vice versa, so that you never find yourselves having to hide anything from each other, or having to explain something obvious until you're blue in the face. Instead, you always find yourselves laughing at another truth shared.

It's about enjoying someone's mind and personality so much that no one else really makes the cut.

Wanting the best for each other, unconditionally, is very easy in these circumstances - it's not some kind of selfless charitable pose.

Interesting - definitely food for thought.

OP posts:
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