What is a wife supposed to do?

[Penage]

If you're a wife and you had to write a job description, what would it be?

I must be a bad wife then because my husband couldn't make me obey him for love nor money🤭

This is a strange thread.

Being married isn’t an occupation.

This thread is about to take a turn for the worse 🤣

OP, why do you want to know what it looks like for a wife to be loving and obedient???

Because I'm interested @SlugsWon

This is either a wife whose husband is being very abusive to her or a husband who wants to be a complete cunt to his wife.

No difference between what makes a great wife to what makes a great husband.

My husband would never expect me to obey him, just to be considerate of him and to compromise and discuss where we disagree (as I expect him to do too).

Obeying my arse.

Enough of the curt responses OP. What's up? Journo, abused wife or weird MRA bloke?

Or a trad wife Instagrammer who wants ideas for more content???

Being a good spouse is working together towards a stable, good and happy marriage, home and family. Sometimes putting the needs of the other before your own, but always in the secure knowledge that the other is doing the same.
You can't be a good wife in isolation. You need to be in a healthy relationship to achieve it.

@Penage please answer your own question now that people have answered you. It’s only fair.

Always look your best, makeup on, hair done, wearing a pretty dress when he gets home from work. Always have a martini ready for him when he returns home, a delicious meal cooking while you listen adoringly to his day.
Serve him first always.
Make sure the house is spotless, smile, always say yes to his ideas.

Is that the kind of thing you're looking for?

Do people really think that you have to any a certain way to be a 'good wife' Just another reason why I never wanted to be a wife.

A helpmate. Loyal, loving, caring - an equal
Now turn the clock back 25 years and cook, washer, cleaner, quiet, modest, obedient, nurse, Mother if applicable, the list is endless. Basically a slave.
But now thank goodness it is mostly but not everywhere hundreds of times better than it was.

First reply nailed it!

As you seem to be after more details, OP:

I did not agree to obey and I got married 30 years ago. I’m not going to trust someone else’s judgement over my own as I think that’s a dangerous road to go down. Nor do I expect him to obey me. So that’s in not in the job description.

Things being a wife has been to me over all the years -

Supporting him in the less good times - when he’s had operations or health issues I’ve been there for him, prioritised visiting him in hospital, looked after him when he’s got out. And he’s done the same for me. We’ve both had some major health scares and sticking by each other has been paramount. Sometimes we haven’t even known if those health isssues will ever get better, but we’ve hung in there and been there for each other, finding the good bits through the bad. Same through employment difficulties. Neither of us have taken advantage of the other’s earning power but both of us have leant on the other financially through difficult periods.

I think, in short, being there by each other for the ups and downs. My mum always used to say “row the boat together as you get there easier that way”. It’s good advice.

What I think a wife ISN’T - someone to take on an unequal burden of life’s difficulties, chores and work. Someone tied to a life of drudgery and unhappiness. Someone to put up with disrespect. Being a wife shouldn’t be those things. That doesn’t mean you have to do the same jobs round the house. But it must be equal work, however, you work that out.

Mainly, being a wife should be huge fun. Lots of laughs, lots of enjoyment. Shared goals and shared happiness.

Everything that applies to being a wife, in my opinion, also applies to being a husband, and also to both parties of a same sex couple.

None of the above @MrsTerryPratchett

Can't a person ask a question without being interrogated? 🙄

Thanks @MathsandStats Great post.

Are you writing an article?

Sorry what? Obeying?

No, not without some context.

Because it’s nice to know who the lazy journalist is.

It isn’t a job. The same as a husband - equality, respect, love, friendship etc.

Obey... FFS. A wife is the same as a husband. An equal partner with a commitment to a life together.

DH and I have mutual respect for one another.

I do not obey him.
He does not obey me.

We compromise when we can't agree.

We apologise if we're hurtful.

We share the housework equally.

We shared the childcare equally, too. The children are grown up now.

We do not hold the same views on everything but we treat one another with respect, compassion and humour.

Exactly. I’m just living the way I did before I got married, but having signed a document that ties me legally to a man I’d been committed to for many years previously. The thing that’s made a more of a day to day difference to my life is having a child with DH, but that’s not related to marriage as such.

’Obeying’ has no part in a marriage unless your kink is cosplaying Surrendered Wife.

Accept the legal requirements of being married, eg joint assets, inheritance rules, etc.

Other than that, it would be the same as being a decent long-term partner.

If you mean a wife within a specific religion, then that would be dependent on the religion.