SN club without SN

[HOL2024]

Our DS6 went back to school and has been invited to join a SN lunch club.

No communication from the school on this, just heard it off him that he’s going to club tomorrow. He does not have any SN and is not under SENCO.

Am I being unreasonable by being extremely pissed off and wanting a meeting with the headteacher tomorrow?

This is complicated.

I used to work in a primary school.

We ran lots of clubs, some of which were for children with SN.

We were always told that if a child chooses to come to a club and it is on school premises in school time (eg at lunch time) then parental consent is not required and they cannot withdraw it and stop the child going if the child wants to go.

The same applies to SN interventions - so for example if a child needs additional spelling practice and is having a session with a TA once a week in assembly time then it is good practice to inform the parents but the parents don't get to choose whether the child goes as it is an educational decision made by the school.

I don’t believe it is appropriate to ask a 6 year child to miss out on learning by leaving for lunch early. I think that the school should have spoken to the parents first. I’d like to understand why he’s been included and if they suspect any form of additional needs. Clearly, I’m not happy that he translated the message that he wasn’t to go and they have undermined that message, what else are they going to undermine.

Of course it is if it's in school time and on school premises. It's not like they're going out skydiving or juggling flaming batons.

Except you don't even know if it's for children with SEN. You're just going off what other parents have said. Don't assume. It sounds like your child wants to go and that's all that matters.

Talk to the school about whether it is for pupils with additional needs and whether they have concerns about your son by all means but you've massively overreacted to gossip and speculation. Remember the school want the best for your child, the same as you.

Many primary schools will do meetings with teachers immediately after school, if you ask.

Do you have an email for the class or the teacher? Can you email them, although again they can't email you back within their teaching day so you will need to wait for a response till at least tomorrow.

Do you use breakfast and after-school clubs, and that's why you can't speak to the teacher?

Can you physically go into the school reception office and speak directly to an admin person and ask for clarification as to what this club is and why your child was asked to attend?

He doesn’t attend breakfast or after school club, but there is no opportunity to speak to the class teacher at drop off (which is done at the school gate where the teachers are in the class room) and at pick up (which is handled by the TA as the teachers have gone for a meeting). I have no email addresses for the staff only the reception phone number. I could walk there and see them in person but they don’t feel approachable in that way.

It is perfectly normal to for children in primary to go for lunch early so that they can go to clubs.

Parental consent is not needed for an early lunch.

I understand you are worried that school think he has SN but you are massively massively overreacting to something that is completely commonplace and normal.

You're overthinking it. Give the office a ring or pop in and ask to speak to the teacher. If they can't see you straight away then they'll organise a different time.

I wonder whether he’s being used to “mentor” a child?

When our son was in primary years ago there was a little boy with very challenging behaviour. He had a session every week with a specialist. His reward was to choose a classmate to go with him and he chose our son.
I found out after 2 sessions, our son told me. Was really cross. He didn’t go again!

So you are coming across as all dramatic over information you actually don't know about

Wouldn't it be better for your child to calm down first?

The teachers have a meeting every day at the end of the day? That’s unusual.

I would ring the school office now, explain your problem briefly and ask for the teacher to give you a ring after today’s meeting.

I could be coming across as over dramatic but at the moment I have no answers and no other parents of his friends know the club exists, one child who I know goes - their parent has told me it’s for additional needs children only which is why noone knows about it.

Why would they consult parents?

It’s an optional lunchtime activity, not the Freemasons.

Why would you put your child in that position? It’s a lunch club not a medical assessment.

In the time it’s taken you to post on MN you could have emailed the teacher and this would have all been sorted by now.

DD was sent to a phonics catch up in Y1 (shes G&T) and a group for children from deprived backgrounds at college (both parents professionals who went to Uni and she was at Private Secondary)
Each time I calmly asked why, explained why it wasn't appropriate and she didn't go. No storming into The Heads office required

I can understand why posters are annoyed but being totally honest I wouldn’t be happy and I can understand why the OP isn’t either.

When I first started teaching I had a girl in my form who had a squabble with some friends and was seized by a TA to go to a club at break which was actually for children who had social problems which meant they were best kept away from busy areas at break. This girl didn’t have social problems at all: it was a perfectly normal little tiff but the recruitment of the girl for the club actually did lead to social problems as it alienated her from her friends

You can’t ‘catch’ SEN but it isn’t a benign act either. It isn’t appropriate to single a child out in this way without an explanation. I’d certainly be puzzled and annoyed at the poor communication and I would expect the school to explain what is going on. I think that’s the very least you’d expect to be honest.

We just want him to be happy and thrive and worried sometimes the school are not doing things for his benefit but for others

What others do you think they’re trying to benefit? I doubt your son’s presence makes any difference either way to the other kids.

Environment is a huge factor in child development.

I do understand being worried that your school have identified a SN and not spoken to you which should happen.

And I know I sound unsympathetic. It's just it's so normal for schools to jiggle the day around and have different little clubs and interventions going on that aren't about having SN and parents don't get asked about, it's as unremarkable as teaching English.

Your concern seems to be that you don't think he has SN and therefore the club is detrimental so you dont want him to go or at least want to understand the benefit to him. Which I do get but I assume you don't trust the school generally which is a difficult situation to be in. It's much easier if you are lucky to assume the school is doing its best.

Yes

I think in the situation with pick up that you've described I would ask the TA and if they aren't able to answer, ask them to pass the message on to the teacher that until you know more your child is not to go to this club. And ask them to ask the teacher to contact you or send information home with your child.

If you are telling your young child not to follow the teachers instructions until you have spoken to them, you need to be a lot more proactive about speaking to them.

If you email the office they can ask the teacher to call you. Or you can tell the TA at pickup or drop-off that you need to speak to the teacher please. It shouldn't be on your child to negotiate this.

The thing about parental consent, you have consented to send your child to this school and for them to educate your child. That's the consent right there, that you've already given. I've only ever been asked for specific additional consent for things that involve outside agencies.

Can I ask are you British as I am getting the vibe that you come from a community where structure education is how uou perceive stuff and that you want to be strict over your child. You said he was excited so is happy but that's not good enough is it. You do know being this regimented all hos life can impact on him later

Daltonbear1 · Today 13:19
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Can I ask are you British as I am getting the vibe that you come from a community where structure education is how uou perceive stuff and that you want to be strict over your child. You said he was excited so is happy but that's not good enough is it. You do know being this regimented all hos life can impact on him later”

What an odd assumption! We’re white Brirish and didn’t want our young child being used to mentor the difficult kid!