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Original poster

SN club without SN

140 replies

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 20:51

Our DS6 went back to school and has been invited to join a SN lunch club.

No communication from the school on this, just heard it off him that he’s going to club tomorrow. He does not have any SN and is not under SENCO.

Am I being unreasonable by being extremely pissed off and wanting a meeting with the headteacher tomorrow?

OP posts:
Clarinetiu · 03/09/2024 21:43

wow I remember furious at my amazing daughter being invited to thrive club at 6. I mean what do these teachers know about kids? I knew much better.

6 years later with everything that has happened (Sen special school some really hard stuff) I am glad that my kid was invited to thrive and teachers did what was best for my kid.

cause if they had asked me AT THE TIME I would have been my kid is nothing like them.

your mileage might vary but generally speaking they know what they are doing

cansu · 03/09/2024 21:45

But this isn't a communication issue - it's just you overreacting to something normal like a child going to a club that might have children with special needs in.

SometimeSomewhere · 03/09/2024 21:46

Thanks, just ask the admin team?

Start with the class teacher. They'll most likely be aware of what they club is and what the benefits could be to your child. If they don't know, they'll be able to point you to the right person whether what's a pastoral person or someone else. It's definitely not something to involve the head teacher in. Stay calm. If you're not happy with the schools communication in general, I'd deal with that separately. One thing I learnt having had 2 kids go through school is that most things are easily sorted out with a reasonable conversation. If something is more of an issue, you want to save those things for the head teacher. Good luck.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education SEN
Original poster
HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 22:00

Thanks all always good to have a good grounding. Will talk to the class teacher tomorrow to understand but with it being first day back she may not know either. We just want him to be happy and thrive and worried sometimes the school are not doing things for his benefit but for others.

OP posts:
Choochoo21 · 03/09/2024 22:04

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:00

Is it normal for schools to ask 6 year olds if they want to join a club without consulting parents?

Of course it’s normal.

Why not let the child have a go and see how they like it.

Perhaps your child is anxious or struggling to make friends and they think this calmer setting will benefit them.

They wouldn’t invite the child to join if they didn’t think they would benefit/enjoy it.

How do you know that the club is for SN children only?

Most clubs would not advertise that it’s just for SN as that is ‘othering’ them.

Shinyandnew1 · 03/09/2024 22:10

We just want him to be happy

Is he not happy about going to this club? Has he called it ‘special needs’ club?

Original poster
HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 22:13

We have heard from other parents whose children attend that it is just for additional needs hence why it’s not an advertised club and lots of parents don’t know it exists.

OP posts:
Choochoo21 · 03/09/2024 22:18

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 22:13

We have heard from other parents whose children attend that it is just for additional needs hence why it’s not an advertised club and lots of parents don’t know it exists.

All of your information is second hand and there’s nothing to be annoyed about, especially as you aren’t sure of the full details.

Let your child join and then ask them how they feel about it after a few sessions.

You can then speak to the school and ask the reason for them joining and then ask to keep your child in it/remove them depending on how your child feels.

If only certain children attend, then the school must think your child would benefit from it.

Shinyandnew1 · 03/09/2024 22:21

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 22:13

We have heard from other parents whose children attend that it is just for additional needs hence why it’s not an advertised club and lots of parents don’t know it exists.

Right.

Am I being unreasonable by being extremely pissed off and wanting a meeting with the headteacher tomorrow?

Yes. Are you prone to overreacting?

MissFahrenheit · 03/09/2024 22:27

There’s a similar club at our school. Although they don’t have SEN, 2 of my kids go fairly regularly as their classmates who attend are allowed to bring a friend if they want. Is it possible your son has been invited by a friend rather than the school?

Original poster
HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 22:30

MissFahrenheit · 03/09/2024 22:27

There’s a similar club at our school. Although they don’t have SEN, 2 of my kids go fairly regularly as their classmates who attend are allowed to bring a friend if they want. Is it possible your son has been invited by a friend rather than the school?

No he said the teachers name who asked him as she runs the club

OP posts:
LeafHunter · 03/09/2024 22:31

If it was the first day of term today, how do you know what the club is? Surely he’s in a different year group so whatever clubs ran last year for either his year then or his year now might be different this year?

edwinbear · 03/09/2024 22:39

I have DC in Y8 and Y11 now but at Junior school they were invited to a few ‘invitation only’ clubs.

DD to a ‘friendship’ club, alongside a few other girls as they were quite frankly all being vile to each other and needed to learn how to be far more pleasant/kind.

DS to a ‘confidence’ club. He was fairly quiet and I think coming across as a bit anxious. They used to pass a rock round in a circle and when you had it, you were invited to talk about something that was worrying you.

DS also was struggling with his reading and went to an extra support club to help with that.

Neither DC have SEN, and both doing very well in Senior school both academically and socially. They just needed a bit of extra support and intervention at the time and I was very pleased the school identified it and stepped in early to help. I agree with PP a calm discussion with his teacher to find out what the club is for and why they think it would be beneficial for him is the first step.

KnickerlessParsons · 03/09/2024 22:55

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:00

Is it normal for schools to ask 6 year olds if they want to join a club without consulting parents?

Yes

DarkForces · 03/09/2024 23:01

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:00

Is it normal for schools to ask 6 year olds if they want to join a club without consulting parents?

Unless you've misspelt cult you're overreacting. Just nicely ask the class teacher by email and you'll have your answer

Singleandproud · 03/09/2024 23:09

There are so many reasons he could have been invited

Perhaps he's quite quiet and they've noticed he doesn't make friends easily,

Perhaps there's a child he is friends with that goes to the club that has asked him to come along as they can invite a friend

Maybe he is easily distracted at lunchtime and slow to eat so eating in a smaller group is better

Perhaps it's been picked up that he doesn't like the noise and hustle and bustle of the main canteen so a quieter place to eat might suit him better

Perhaps he needs some support with minor social skills like turn taking so the lunch club will practise that with board games

There are lots of interventions that can be offered for minor things without any diagnosis but just a skill that needs practising.

NewName24 · 03/09/2024 23:10

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:00

Is it normal for schools to ask 6 year olds if they want to join a club without consulting parents?

Yes

NewName24 · 03/09/2024 23:12

Singleandproud · 03/09/2024 23:09

There are so many reasons he could have been invited

Perhaps he's quite quiet and they've noticed he doesn't make friends easily,

Perhaps there's a child he is friends with that goes to the club that has asked him to come along as they can invite a friend

Maybe he is easily distracted at lunchtime and slow to eat so eating in a smaller group is better

Perhaps it's been picked up that he doesn't like the noise and hustle and bustle of the main canteen so a quieter place to eat might suit him better

Perhaps he needs some support with minor social skills like turn taking so the lunch club will practise that with board games

There are lots of interventions that can be offered for minor things without any diagnosis but just a skill that needs practising.

Edited

All of this.

Am I being unreasonable by being extremely pissed off and wanting a meeting with the headteacher tomorrow?

Yes, very.

Would YBU to ask calmly what the club is, and what the criteria is to be invited ? No.

Original poster
HOL2024 · 05/09/2024 11:58

Slight update here we told him he wasn’t to go until we had spoken to school. So he informed the club head that he wasn’t to go until we had spoken to the school. They then said that it was up to the child as the parents aren’t there. Is this not against parental consent?

OP posts:
Frowningprovidence · 05/09/2024 12:04

HOL2024 · 05/09/2024 11:58

Slight update here we told him he wasn’t to go until we had spoken to school. So he informed the club head that he wasn’t to go until we had spoken to the school. They then said that it was up to the child as the parents aren’t there. Is this not against parental consent?

Well no, as you told a 6 year old to tell the school and the 6 year old has relayed a response.

If you want to withdraw the consent you need to contact the school and withdraw consent yourself.

Original poster
HOL2024 · 05/09/2024 12:06

Frowningprovidence · 05/09/2024 12:04

Well no, as you told a 6 year old to tell the school and the 6 year old has relayed a response.

If you want to withdraw the consent you need to contact the school and withdraw consent yourself.

Show quote history

Which we tried to do as we phoned the school first thing for the teacher to call but they never called - and still hasn’t.

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 05/09/2024 12:08

The teacher can't phone you back during their teaching day. You will need to wait until they have their Admin time which is very limited ie once a week, or if they can call you back after school.

Don't you get a chance to speak to the teacher in the morning or afternoon, when dropping off/picking up?

Singleandproud · 05/09/2024 12:08

@HOL2024 why on earth are you making such a big fuss of this? He can't catch 'SEN'!
It is up to the child they don't need your consent for things like this inside school time, they offer it out/invite the children they think will benefit and the child decides to go or play outside.

His class teacher who is running it clearly thinks he will enjoy or benefit from it.

If he had come home and told you he had been put into a challenge group at lunch time for high achievers to practise higher maths thinking / logical puzzles or whatever but didn't discuss with you first would you have the same response?

If you continue to make such a song and dance about a non event I'd expect your child to never be offered any more optional events or opportunities. Teachers don't have time for this.

Original poster
HOL2024 · 05/09/2024 12:09

SilenceInside · 05/09/2024 12:08

The teacher can't phone you back during their teaching day. You will need to wait until they have their Admin time which is very limited ie once a week, or if they can call you back after school.

Don't you get a chance to speak to the teacher in the morning or afternoon, when dropping off/picking up?

No there is no opportunity at our school to do this.

OP posts:
Frowningprovidence · 05/09/2024 12:10

HOL2024 · 05/09/2024 12:06

Which we tried to do as we phoned the school first thing for the teacher to call but they never called - and still hasn’t.

Show quote history

Well tell the admin person clearly that you withdraw consent until the conversation with the teacher. And email in to say the same for good measure.

Don't take this wrong way but 6 year olds say my mum says I'm not allowed to do stuff all the time. It will be stuff like washing their hands, or doing school work.