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Original poster

SN club without SN

140 replies

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 20:51

Our DS6 went back to school and has been invited to join a SN lunch club.

No communication from the school on this, just heard it off him that he’s going to club tomorrow. He does not have any SN and is not under SENCO.

Am I being unreasonable by being extremely pissed off and wanting a meeting with the headteacher tomorrow?

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 03/09/2024 21:10

So, just ask for info and then decide what you think. No need for the anger and the apparent contempt for "SN" children, or a meeting with the head!

Frowningprovidence · 03/09/2024 21:10

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:06

He says that they go for lunch early then play inside while everyone else is eating or playing outside. I personally don’t think that that is healthy for a child who doesn’t need it. He should be outside playing.

Well we can't answer why they feel it would benefit him but his class teacher can, so just ask.
Then decide whether it is wrong based on the answer.

Laszlomydarling · 03/09/2024 21:10

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:06

He says that they go for lunch early then play inside while everyone else is eating or playing outside. I personally don’t think that that is healthy for a child who doesn’t need it. He should be outside playing.

Sounds like you need to calmly ask for more information. Definitely doesn't sound like something to meet the head about. Does he want to go?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education SEN
gamerchick · 03/09/2024 21:10

Can't see what the issue is. What makes you think it's for kids with SEN?

Your reaction is a bit explosive for something that isn't a big deal.

Laszlomydarling · 03/09/2024 21:11

I wonder if he struggled at lunchtime last year.

weebarra · 03/09/2024 21:12

DD was asked to go to a communication group once a week, during school time, as a 'support' for the other young people in the group. This wasn't made clear initially so I was a bit confused, but her teacher phoned me later to explain. She enjoyed it.
She is also currently in the school nurture group due to confidence issues, and most of the other kids have ASN. While she does have her own issues, helping them with the academic side of things is good for her confidence. Could it be something similar?

Original poster
HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:13

This isn’t our first problem with the school to be honest so it’s been a long line of communication issues although a new head has just started this term.

OP posts:
NiggleNoggle · 03/09/2024 21:14

I was in almost the same situation as you when my son was 6. I thought at the time that there was no SN had a meeting with the school etc. etc.

It was only years later that he got diagnosed with ASD. The very young teacher (first teaching role) had clearly noticed something and now I am thankful that she did as it started us on our journey to better understand our son.

Littleme2023 · 03/09/2024 21:16

It might be that your child is friends with one of the children already in club and been invited to attend.

It’s slightly different but in my school - we invite children with no SN to join our children with SN in short interventions to help with things like turn taking like building a tower with blocks or a short board game/puzzle etc, it helps their social skills. It’s just a quick 5 minutes during play and they are invited, they can say no. I don’t think we explicitly get parent permission.

I can understand you maybe not wanting your child to miss out on their usual play time. Maybe just ask if he can go once a week or something.

It’s really not a “demand a meeting” with the headteacher situation in my opinion, it’s a quick call to the office or email to the school sendco.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 03/09/2024 21:16

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:06

He says that they go for lunch early then play inside while everyone else is eating or playing outside. I personally don’t think that that is healthy for a child who doesn’t need it. He should be outside playing.

Well when he gets home you can refuse to let him in and make sure he plays outside. That'll make up for it.

Sleepbabysh · 03/09/2024 21:16

Are you angry because you think that him being offered to go to the club means that they think he may have some kind of additional need but they haven't communicated this to you?
Do you know for definite that it's a club specifically for children with additional needs or are you assuming that? Many schools run lunchtime clubs indoors for children who may struggle with certain aspects of playtime, sometimes this might be related to having an additional need but sometimes not.

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 03/09/2024 21:19

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:00

Is it normal for schools to ask 6 year olds if they want to join a club without consulting parents?

Yes. I have no clue what my 6 year old gets up to at lunchtime. Maybe your kid is struggling in some way, maybe his best friend goes to the same club, maybe he’s joining as some kind of buddy system, the options are endless.

Maybe he just wants to go to lunch early and stay inside. I went to a Christian lunchtime group even though I didn’t believe a word of it, because I wanted to sit with my friends and craft.

Bluehotairballoon · 03/09/2024 21:19

R053 · 03/09/2024 20:58

Perhaps they want a mix of non special needs and special needs at the club?

I thought this as it’s usual to have a mix of SN and non SN in some clubs - as when I was at secondary school I got in serious trouble for refusing to go to the swimming club that was on a rota basis for everyone in the form to do 4 session at the SN school we were paired with . My form teacher shouted and screamed at me in front of everyone about my ‘disgusting attitude towards these people’ and told me to explain myself . So I did. I couldnt swim and had a fear of water after a near drowning at age 10 where I’d been in hospital for 3 days afterwards . His face just fell he was apologising and they had to call my mum to get me as I got so upset.

TomatoSandwiches · 03/09/2024 21:20

My DD who is extremely bright was invited to a communications club at primary school in year 6, there was no legal requirement for the school to ask me permission as it was within school hours and they had identified a possible need and addressed it.
They did inform me via phone the day after my DD told me excitedly about this " friendship group " she was now part of.

She is now in yr8 and is on the pathway to an ASD diagnosis.

There are no poor or devastating consequences to your son being part of this group 3 times a week, none.

There is no need to go guns blazing, enquire and ask questions and see what you come away with. Your son is enjoying the club, keep that in mind.

Headawobble · 03/09/2024 21:20

For what it's worth, teachers do get to see a certain side to our children that we may sometimes not. It may well be they have noticed a reason that this may be beneficial to your son even if he doesn't have previously identified SN.

As for it being unhealthy, children with SN are just children and are just as likely to be peers to your son as much as a child with no SN. An indoor lunch club, providing there are activities and options to play freely, sounds fun to me.

LanaParits · 03/09/2024 21:21

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FuzzyDiva · 03/09/2024 21:23

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:00

Is it normal for schools to ask 6 year olds if they want to join a club without consulting parents?

Yes it is. It’s also quite normal for children to ask for their friends to go with them so some children who have no need or requirement also attend.

Why are you so very affronted at the thought of your child going to a club?

AppropriateAdult · 03/09/2024 21:25

Honestly, I'd have a friendly chat with the teacher before taking the word of a 6yo, just days into a new school year, as gospel. There could be lots of reasons he's been invited to join, and he may well have got the wrong end of the stick about some aspect of it.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/09/2024 21:28

It's probably Lego club or something, and they let anyone in who wants to join.

Differentstarts · 03/09/2024 21:33

Firstly your overreacting, you don't need to speak to the headteacher i doubt they will even know who your kid is let alone what clubs hes in, just mention to teacher on drop off. Secondly your getting information from a 6 year old so I'd take that with a pinch of salt.

LanaParits · 03/09/2024 21:35

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Laszlomydarling · 03/09/2024 21:38

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Absolutely not

xyz111 · 03/09/2024 21:39

My son's school has lunch club. It's for any kids that don't want to play outside/ find it too noisy/ just want to chill inside. Sometimes my son joins in, but it's his choice. It's for any kids, sen or NT. it's no big deal.

Shinyandnew1 · 03/09/2024 21:40

HOL2024 · 03/09/2024 21:09

Thanks, just ask the admin team?

Show quote history

Our office staff wouldn’t have a clue who did a lunchtime club. Just go and ask the class teacher. No need to go in ‘all guns blazing’ to the poor head who presumably only started at the school yesterday!

Why do you think it’s a ‘SN’ club? It clearly isn’t solely for pupils with a special education need, if your son has been invited to join and doesn’t have SEN, is it? It’s not catching, you know.

If you don’t want him inside at lunchtime-talk to him about that. Presumably he wants to join the club so is what you want more important than what he wants? Do his mates go?

Let him play outside after school with you three times a week if you don’t think he’s getting enough fresh air.

cansu · 03/09/2024 21:43

It is just a club. I am not sure you should be asking for a meeting with the head. Just ask the teacher about it in a normal way. Maybe your ds will enjoy himself.