Single men buying babies

[WandsOut]

x.com/surrogconcern/status/1829411675671240815?s=46

This is really really worrying.
Surrogacy is becoming more acceptable as a way to procure children. Of course it would end up being taken to its worst conclusion.
This is in the US, but will happen everywhere.
The vetting process will be minimal compared to the profits that will be made.
The results will be potentially devastating and horrifying for these innocent newborns.

Sadly I agree with this. There are so many women on here every day who are encouraged by posters to have a child even though they are completely unsuitable because of their situation. Usually terrible outcomes for the children as well I'm sure!

There are so many women on here every day who are encouraged by posters to have a child even though they are completely unsuitable because of their situation.

Are they? I usually see posters telling women not to have children with terrible men, telling them a baby will not fixing an ailing relationship. Or enquiring whether posters are in a good situation - job/career, family support, ability to pay for childcare etc. I’m not trying to be goady but I genuinely haven’t seen those kinds of posts.

I've seen so many with single women with zero support who will have to put their child into full time childcare and go back to work encouraged to 'go for it', when they should probably just get a puppy to fill whatever void they think they have. And when people say it is unfair to have a child that doesn't have a father, they are met with the justification that there are so many terrible fathers so it isn't a factor. I've seen this so many times

I thought surrogacy was illegal in this country, if so I hope it stays that way. There's nothing to stop anyone going abroad for it or maybe doing it informally, the 'host mohvther' giving the baby for adoption to the would-be parents. I'm not sure how that would work.

What is seriously wrong, in my opinion, is the belief of some people that they have a right to a child at all costs, sometimes without even being in a committed relationship. I never felt that and neither do most people but some do. Having a child is a privilege, a gift in some people's view, but not a right.

Infertility is very hard but, when various methods are tried, surely a person can eventually accept and throw themselves into something else. I've known childless couples who have, and do, live extremely happy, useful and fulfilled lives, having accepted their infertility.

Not enough status is given by society to those who cannot have children. That was not the case in the past.t

I daresay some would say it's all right for me, I don't know how it feels. However I do, albeit second hand, my parents couldn't have children and adopted me. I know a lot about infertility, I lived with it through my mother. She spent eighteen and a half years, married, before I came on the scene; never went to work (except some part-time war work because everyone had to do something during WW2), did no voluntary work or mixed outside the family. She never stopped being resentful of pregnant women (except for her family), and showed it; would make horrible remarks about unmarried mothers despite the fact that she wouldn't have had me without one.

PS: I can't get into the link but will google the title.

Well that's a bit rich. There have been women since the beginning of time who have desperately wanted a baby and any man will do to be the father. I worked with one such man, who outgrew his usefulness once the desired baby arrived.

I think he sounds desperate rather than seeing a woman as an object. Women are told all the time on here not to waste their time on men, who won’t commit if they want marriage and children.

Babies who are removed from their birth mothers immediately suffer from trauma that may never heal. Surrogacy plans and expects this therefore it is wrong. The baby should be central to any plans for them but in surrogacy it's the needs of the parents that are put first, therefore it is wrong. It's especially awful if the traumatised baby is given to a single man, as ordered.

Commercial surrogacy is abhorrent. Using the body of one woman and the egg of another so neither has a legal claim. Denying the woman a place in the child's life. In this country, we allow altruistic surrogacy with conditions. There was a piece on woman's hour recently. This was done through love and friendship, but commercially it's shameful.

Surrogacy should be outlawed worldwide.

@KendraTheVampyrSlayer so because a single man wants a baby he's a predator? That's a hell of a disturbing over reach. Also the reaction to a man being honest that he wants kids desperately is seen as him being disgusting but seen as so sad for a woman to have 'wasted time on a man who won't give her kids'.

Then people wonder why men are seen as not caring towards their own kids when wanting kids apparently makes them 'predators'.

I actually understand @User49 's response, I could have written that but from the female perspective. When I met my now husband in my late twenties, early on I said I wanted children and I wanted to be married before I had them, I said if they aren't things you're interested in then don't waste my time. My husband said he actually found it refreshing (and attractive) that I was so up front about it! Obviously we didn't know for certain that we could have a family but I was clear from the start that that was going to be an important part of my life. I didn't enjoy dating either, always felt that it was a game I didn't really know the rules of... by the time I met my husband I was ready just to say this is what I want. I do feel very lucky to be together decades later and have the family I wished for.

Does anyone actually think of what is best for the child. It's all about peoples rights etc. what about the poor baby's rights. It's ridiculous and incredibly sad.

What worries most people about surrogacy, I’d say, is the rent a womb aspect which is exploitative whichever way you look at it.

I’d imagine though that in the future it may be more regulated, and children from surrogacy classed as vulnerable as adopted children are.

Just think all children need a mum.

This is extreme.

Absolutely. Nobody has a right to have a child.

I don't want to comment on infertility because I haven't experienced it, but it's quite different from single men wanting a baby.

I can't believe some women here are so naive not to think this practice is extremely dangerous from a safeguarding pov.

I dislike surrogacy intensely. I agree it makes babies into commodities and women into service providers.

Horrific

You've got this arse backwards.

If paedophiles could buy babies, do you think they would?

It's not just single men but gay couples. I'm not for one minute implying they're going to abuse the baby but removing the mother from the baby's life is awful.

Don't have children with a woman you're 'fond' of- the relationship won't last.
If you're that desperate for children, foster or adopt.