Has there been an uptick of male posters on MN?

[whitefiligree]

Just something I’ve noticed recently. I know MN is not just for women (the About Us states it’s for parents, but I haven’t watched the video as it’s pretty long so maybe more is said there).

I was wondering how other women feel about this? And as for men, are you here to gain a perspective from a female-dominated space? Is there even an equivalent space for men?

On certain threads there seems to be more MRA types who pile on to belittle women’s experiences. I’d happily do without them!

On the whole I’d prefer a male free space, I’ve spent most of my life having to make way for men and seeing how much they are prioritised and pandered to.

There is something I want to discuss but it’s very sensitive / sexual in nature and I don’t feel comfortable actively knowing men are reading it. Of course I realise this is the internet, anyone can read anything, but it puts me off posting about it. I don’t have anyone I can share it with as it’s so personal, so an anonymous forum of women is such a wonderful resource.

I’ve just seen a post now by someone with a male sounding name who is defending the men in the situation (poor behaviour by them).

I remember sticking up for a male poster once after he wrote a fairly tame comment on a same sex relationship thread. A poster was having a go at him for what I thought was just a man having an opinion, but she then advised me to look at his posting history. Every single one of his posts was on sex/lesbian related threads. I’ve done that quite a lot since, and there’s definitely a theme with men and repeated posting on sex subjects. And I know a lot of people on here find it infuriating with the ‘man here’ posts about literally any subject, like as a man then his opinion must definitely represent the entire other half of the population

So what would you suggest? A women’s only area where mnhq must verify you are a woman before you can post?

I have no suggestions on this, just asking questions and sharing experiences about it.

I was thinking that just now and kind of made myself chuckle. As if mn did make a women’s only area then 100% all of the men would flock to it as who could stop them, but then that does still solve the problem somewhat as all the creepy men will keep each other occupied in the women’s only section 😂

There must be a thread about men every other day!

I think it behooves us all to remember that this is a public forum, and anyone can read anything we post.
Recommend using a tame subject title and posting on one of the boards that gets less traffic, so is less likely to make it to 'active'. Though obviously you run the risk of only getting a few replies.
Otherwise, use a throwaway user name that can't be associated with other posts you've made, and make sure you don't include details that might get you recognised in real life.

But yeah, men do sometimes pop up, and there's no reason why they shouldn't as a lot of discussions aren't specific to male or female posters.

What I find interesting us that most men - who identify themselves as men at some point either in a thread or user name - write posts in such a different way 😂 there’s often a ‘style’ to the posts, as if they are trying to write a newspaper opinion column. I love it when you get a really longwinded, sort of jocular post and then the first response is something really abrupt. It’s how I would like to reply to men at work lol.

I don't mind a few decent blokes. I really mind the MRA fuckers who come to tell us off. They are massively too common.

Sometimes it's the opinion expressed that makes me think 'man writing' when I read a post. Sometimes it's the language used. Sometimes the way they react to criticism or disagreement. Sometimes it's the style of username. Once it was the dick pic😂(swiftly reported & removed).

Yep, they walk among us. And I've noticed a few more recently - a whole cluster on one thread the other day. It's an open forum so anyone can read or post here. We're also free to ignore or report any posts we wish to, or to reply as we choose. And, of course, to enjoy contributions from those men who post with good intent & some insight.

That is exactly what I am dreading 😖

I think I’m divided on the ‘man here’ type replies…on the one hand I appreciate it may be out of thoughtfulness/consideration that this is a female-dominated space, on the other hand it can come off as you described. Often it isn’t even necessary as it was pretty obvious before they even announced it at the end of the reply (ex: ‘From, a man’.), as @ifIwerenotanandroid pointed out.

Dick pic is grim! I’ve thus far avoided that here and thankfully it seems very rare?

And they all go exactly the same way! Three groups (1) ban men somehow, (2) it's a free internet, (3) NAMALT. Plus a couple of men popping up, which leads to an equal number of posters attacking them and defending them.

Three groups (1) ban men somehow, (2) it's a free internet, (3) NAMALT.

There is a fourth, nuanced place. Men shouldn't come into mainly female space with their sharp elbows and their walls of text and expect women to defer to them. They shouldn't be banned, they should have the decency to know not to do it. The whole rest of the internet is by and for men. Go there.

No way of getting rid of them. Surely they can just identify as women now and be allowed here anyway.

I'd prefer there not to be men. Not saying it should be locked down to women only, just that I'd prefer there not to be men. I wouldn't mind SAHD's so much but there are way too many men whining about their wife who it then turns out they are cheating on.

There are actually a couple of long term male MNers who I really like (especially for providing legal advice and cat pics ).

I think it's impossible to ban men from an internet site, as Australia sadly demonstrated recently

What I would like is for MN to remain a female dominated site. It's so unusual these days to find somewhere where women's voices are in the majority - and they're being eroded daily. I think we just need to make sure our voices are heard and would encourage every MNer who sees or even suspects a MRA, or man trolling/with an agenda, to report to MNHQ so they are investigated and banned.

I can't link on the app but there was a fabulous thread once where some young man helpfully offered his IT services to us poor female codgers with our tiny brains. He got his arse handed to him. On a silver platter. It was fucking great.

YABU for using the word uptick.

So not small or incremental you mean?

I did look for that Australian app but couldn’t find it. Has it gone, and was it to do with the court case?

There’s loads more than there used to be and it’s a shame.

DH was a SAHD and occasionally posted for advice on practical matters such as feeding/sleeping, but wouldn't have ever posted (for example) advice on a relationship thread. This was yonks ago and MN was much smaller and much more female dominated than it is now. He is well aware of his privilege as a man and felt it would be disingenuous to post knowing posters would assume he was a woman posting with a female viewpoint, it would have felt like intruding. Or he had the alternative of disclosing by basically saying "man here" which he knows would make him a total bellend (He fucking loves MN though and our automatic first question on any moral/legal/financial dilemmas is "ask MN").

Let women speak.

It's in FWR, albeit "the hiding place of sex and gender" topic with Giggle and Tickle in the title.

Yes, even the non MRA types you can spot a mile off, even the ones who write as if they are women, they're very much not.