Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I'm at the vets. My dog is very ill. Help me get through this.

111 replies

ApolloandDaphne · 28/08/2024 12:56

My beautiful 12 year old lab has been slowing down a lot lately but today she was visibly very unwell. I'm at the vets and they have done tests. She has a mass on her liver. I don't think she is coming home. I'm on my own at the moment and am struggling to cope. How do I manage this?

OP posts:
sweetgingercat · 28/08/2024 14:31

In the way you talk about her and your photos you can see she is very much loved. You have given her the best life you could do, to love and care for her. Not every animal has this, it’s a significant thing. Now this is the final act of love you can bestow on her by making sure she does not suffer in pain. You will get through it, knowing you have done the best you can for her. Hugs, for you both.

oakleaffy · 28/08/2024 14:33

Blessings to all who have lost a beloved pet.
I’m 😢 at everyone’s stories of their Darlings.
I hope we will one day be reunited with them.

They are so innocent.
But they can have a peaceful passing not legally allowed for humans in this Country.

Wigtopia · 28/08/2024 14:40

Beautiful name and beautiful dog. I can feel your love an heartbreak through your posts. The hardest part of living with such lovely creatures is letting them go when the time comes. But there is so much joy they bring us. Be kind to yourself OP

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dogs
spiderlight · 28/08/2024 14:41

I'm so sorry. Sending a very tight handhold - been there too many times and I know how utterly bloody awful it is. She's clearly had a long life filled with love, and that's all that matters to her. You're taking the pain on now so she doesn't have to.

Thinking of you all.

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 28/08/2024 14:45

She has gone now. She summoned up a wag of her tail for me but her eyes were so sad. Thank you all for helping me through it and making me feel less alone.

OP posts:
JSMill · 28/08/2024 14:47

ApolloandDaphne · 28/08/2024 14:45

She has gone now. She summoned up a wag of her tail for me but her eyes were so sad. Thank you all for helping me through it and making me feel less alone.

I'm so sorry to hear that. She won't suffer any more. She clearly loved you and you gave her an amazing life.

Starlight1979 · 28/08/2024 14:50

ApolloandDaphne · 28/08/2024 14:45

She has gone now. She summoned up a wag of her tail for me but her eyes were so sad. Thank you all for helping me through it and making me feel less alone.

I am genuinely so sorry for your loss @ApolloandDaphne

Please take so much comfort in the fact that Sadie had a wonderful life and was so loved by her family and neighbourhood. She won't have known what was happening and you were amazing to be so strong for her - she was still wagging her tail until the end. That's how happy she was!

Sadie's photos have made me cry and smile today. Dogs are the absolute best and we are so lucky to have them for the time we do.

❤

fizzandchips · 28/08/2024 14:50

‘How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.’

A.A. Milne. This got me through the day I made the same heartbreaking decision you have made today. Sending hugs OP. Sadie is at peace and in no pain thanks to your selfless act of love.

crumblingschools · 28/08/2024 14:53

I am so sorry @ApolloandDaphne 😔💐

We had to have our dog PTS earlier this year. I am still heartbroken. They bring so much joy and love into our lives. Take care

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 28/08/2024 14:53

Sometimes the tails tell more than the eyes.. She loved you to the very end op. You were truly privileged..
So sorry for your loss..

threelions · 28/08/2024 14:53

I am so sorry. I'm heartbroken for you. You did the right thing though.

Okokokokokish · 28/08/2024 14:56

I am so sorry and sad for you . Am sitting here with my little dog shedding a tear for Sadie.
She clearly had a fabulous ,happy life and you showed your love for her right to the end by making that hard decision. Take care OP ,loving our pets is so,so hard at times 💐🌸💐

Kleptronic · 28/08/2024 14:56

Well done lass. You did the absolute hardest thing, you were there for her.

RB68 · 28/08/2024 14:57

Oh I am so sorry its heartbreaking. We had a very similar situation in May with our 10.5 yr old, masses in abdomen and on chest. I told myself she can sense my distress, so I had to be strong. We were allowed to bring her round from the anesthetic to spend a couple of days at home (bring daughter back from Uni) and do all our last things and then take her in with all of us there to be euthanised - I am crying even now. Ask then to do pawprints, take some fur if you want, do some last pictures, and let her go with love around her - that is all you can do. BE aware costs for cremation vary wildly, our vets was least expensive as they had an agreement with someone a little way distant. Took a few days for her to come back, more local pricey ones were a 24 hrs service. It is unlikely to be covered by insurance due to her age. See if the vets will do spread payments if thats tricky for you.

I haven't been able to do anything with her ashes yet and probably wont till next year

Getonwitit · 28/08/2024 14:57

I am so sorry you have had to say goodbye to Sadie. You have done the absolutely the right thing for her, the last act of love you could show her. Bless you all Flowers

Duckmylife · 28/08/2024 14:57

I wish there was something I could say to make this better, but I don't think there is. I have never had a pet to lose but I know how hard this must be, and I'm really sorry you have to go through it. Just remember that a lot of dogs don't make it to the age of 12, and she has done really well. I'm sure she's had a great life x
I don't know if this has been already suggested or if it's even possible but could you have something made using her paw print or a photo for you to have in the future?
All the best x

RB68 · 28/08/2024 14:58

You absolutely did the right thing and it is so hard

Original poster
ApolloandDaphne · 28/08/2024 15:00

RB68 · 28/08/2024 14:57

Oh I am so sorry its heartbreaking. We had a very similar situation in May with our 10.5 yr old, masses in abdomen and on chest. I told myself she can sense my distress, so I had to be strong. We were allowed to bring her round from the anesthetic to spend a couple of days at home (bring daughter back from Uni) and do all our last things and then take her in with all of us there to be euthanised - I am crying even now. Ask then to do pawprints, take some fur if you want, do some last pictures, and let her go with love around her - that is all you can do. BE aware costs for cremation vary wildly, our vets was least expensive as they had an agreement with someone a little way distant. Took a few days for her to come back, more local pricey ones were a 24 hrs service. It is unlikely to be covered by insurance due to her age. See if the vets will do spread payments if thats tricky for you.

I haven't been able to do anything with her ashes yet and probably wont till next year

They are going to do paw prints. I don't want any fur. The house is full of it. She will be in the carpet forever.

I am having her cremated. The cost wont be any issue thankfully. I need to let the insurance people know i guess.

OP posts:
Notthatbad · 28/08/2024 15:01

I am so very sorry to read this. Sadie was clearly loved and she knew it. How lucky she was to have you and love you.

Our dog is 13 and reading all the messages has left me dreading the day her time comes. I am crying because I can feel your pain. She will always be with you xx

RB68 · 28/08/2024 15:02

I know what you mean about the fur - I am still finding Poppy's now even with two new pups contributing

BloodandGlitter · 28/08/2024 15:07

Run free Sadie, how very loved you were.

I'm sorry OP I think you're very brave for letting her go and I bet she felt your love to the very last second.

SphinxOfBlackQuartz · 28/08/2024 15:08

I'm so sorry, OP.

I was in a somehwat similar positon recently and while my dog seems to be doing OK so far, I really felt I might lose him - and so your post and the pain you are feeling resonated.

I don't know why the pain of losing an animal is so much sharper sometimes than that of losing a human. Most of us would not accept we love our pets more than our human families, but I often wonder if the love is far less complicated. So when they go, there are not the same complicated feelings of relief or guilt or regret or anger than sometimes cloud our human relationships. There is often just love and so the the grief has a different kind of clarity to it.

Plus, over the years I think you and your pet kind of mould together, knocking corners off and shaping your lives around each other, leaving a whole when they go that matches their form exactly.

But I think of dogs like yours (and mine) and am in awe: a totally different species and yet so wonderfully capable of forging a friendship with another species that they are so loved and so missed when they go. What a life they lead to achieve that!

Be kind to yourself in the coming weeks. Flowers

SinnerBoy · 28/08/2024 15:10

I'm so sorry to read this, ApolloandDaphne You know you've done the right thing, even though it's an awful decision to make. Just remember the joy you brought to each others' lives.

🌻

LumpyandBumps · 28/08/2024 15:12

I am sitting here in tears for you. I don’t have anything to say apart from sorry for your loss and I am sending hugs.

Sharontheodopolodous · 28/08/2024 15:23

My parents where told they'd never have children (3 stillbirths) so they bought a dog

She was a mix of just about every breed there was-she was black with a white mark on her breast

My parents went on to have 4 kids-im the eldest,and she taught me so much

She taught me how to behave round dogs,how to walk (we would grab her fur and she'd move,taking us with her)

she taught us how to walk her,love her,clean up after her,feed her,not to paint her nails red as we'd get into so much trouble...

(She also taught my aunt not to let her out accidently while in season,she was babysitting us at tge time,as she will get 'friendly' with a random dog and fall pregnant-my parents had to find home for 8 unexpected puppies!)

I lived with my grandad for 90% of my childhood and was there when the call came to say she'd had to be put down

I've never felt pain like it-she was my best friend,she listened to me when I was being bullied by teachers and children alike at school,when I'd fallen out with someone,when my parents where being abusive (again)-she never judged me,never bullied me and just accepted me

I'm 46 now,we lost her when I was 9 and I still want to cry over losing her

They leave such a massive hole in our lives

You gave her the best life,she will go over the rainbow bridge knowing how much she is loved