I'm at the vets. My dog is very ill. Help me get through this.

[ApolloandDaphne]

My beautiful 12 year old lab has been slowing down a lot lately but today she was visibly very unwell. I'm at the vets and they have done tests. She has a mass on her liver. I don't think she is coming home. I'm on my own at the moment and am struggling to cope. How do I manage this?

You get through it by knowing you've done the right thing for them, that any pain or suffering will be over and that you've given them the best life.

Shes an absolute beauty.

Sending lots of love. We have puppies and then the thought of them one day not being around has made me cry more than once. Dogs are such beautiful creatures.

It hurt incredibly, never felt a pain like this, as real as when I've lost a human family member.

@siabm . Honestly, I think I found it a more visceral pain, I think because our beloved dogs are our trusting dependents, and they're such a physical part of our lives.
But - when we left the vets that last sad time, I had an unexpected reaction of sheer anger that DHs parents hadn't been able to have such a peaceful end.

This is beautiful 💔💔

I am so very sorry to hear about this, all I will say is the absolute last love that we give these wonderful dogs who share their love and life with us, is to not let them suffer.

The pain and grief will seem totally overwhelming, never ending and you will also feel guilt - time does heal though and eventually you will remember all the good times and the wonderful memories.

We are so blessed to have these dogs and the grief we feel at the end is the price we pay for so many good times.

Edited to say, sometimes it is good to go and say your goodbyes, even when they have passed away - that one last cuddle, as painful as it will be.

One hundred percent.

I get that. My dad died of cancer and was in such a lot of pain at the end. I just wanted him to die quickly so he would be at peace.

I'm so sorry @ApolloandDaphne - there's no pain like losing a beloved pet. When I helped my first beloved DDog along the way, our lovely vet described it as the last and greatest act of kindness and love and that really resonated for me. With big hugs and hopes for a peaceful end - all mine have slipped away very peacefully x

That's exactly how it was, yes. Visceral. You described it better than I could. And I felt sad for my mil who was taken off fluids and put on a morphine pump, yet took 8 days to pass.
Devastating. So incredible that we can relieve our dogs pain in a way we can't for our human family.
Sadie is a beauty. She knows how much she's loved.

It’s so painful saying goodbye to your lovely dog, but you’re doing the right thing. Give yourself time, three months at least after my dear old retriever went I felt terrible. When it’s their time though, you can’t hold on to them x

@ErrolTheDragon I could have written this post word for word - I was incandescent that I couldn't arrange the peaceful death for DM that I have always been able to for DDogs. It's inhumane.

What a beautiful dog OP. It’s the final, hardest kindness to let them go. I’m so sorry for you both x

I am so sorry, i have just seen your thread and your last reply was 1.15 hours ago.

I was going to reply, just love her, tell her how much you love her and give her a big hug and try not to cry when it happens.Try and keep your tears until afterwards as you don't want to distress her.

Sending you lots of love OP. Sadie looks a lovely girl and you are doing the kindest thing you can do. You can whisper you love her and give her a lovely cuddle and she will have felt your love for her right until the end.

I’m so sad to read this, am crying for you and Sadie. How do dogs do this to us? But like another poster says, this is the greatest gift you can give her. You are there for her and this is a natural part of life. You are doing the right thing xxx

So sorry op, it's just heartbreaking. Such a beautiful dog. Hold on to the lovely memories, and the lovely life you gave her and the adoration and loyalty she gave you all 💔

I'm sat at my desk in my office crying my eyes out reading this. Mine are 3 and 5 but I am absolutely dreading when this time comes. And that's the hardest part about having dogs, we all know that time is going to come and we have to get through it - it's the price we pay for having such loyal and loving best friends for all those years.

Give Sadie a huge cuddle, lots of kisses and keep hold of her until the end. She will know how much you love her and will be comfortable and peaceful. It's us it's the hardest on.

Sending you so much love ❤

I'm so very very sorry OP; it must be bloody awful. You're setting her free and ending any pain she's in.

It’s so tough isn’t it. When our dog was put to sleep recently our dog walker said ‘the final act of love is usually the hardest’. At least with our pets we don’t have to let them suffer.

Our dog loved sunbathing in the garden too. Dd wants to plant a rose bush in her memory in her favourite spot in the middle of the lawn. I’m trying to suggest we plant it in the flowerbed.

What a beautiful dog. You cared for her in death as well as in life. How wonderful she could be with you and forge a bond with you in the way she did.

Take great care of yourself.

Beautiful beautiful girl.
I am so sorry OP. Fellow lab mum here to a 4 year old bouncy black boy. They are our world aren’t they? I am sure she felt so loved and has had a wonderful life with you XXX

When I knew my black lab was going I took her for a final day at the beach because it was her favourite place. I carried her down to the water and she stood in the shallows and just smiled and smiled. I carried her back up to the car (no mean feat) and she slept with her head in my lap all the way home. Beautiful soul. I still dream of her running on the beach towards me whenever I am stressed or ill. That dog was a mother figure to me (my actual mother wasn’t a good one.). I genuinely believe she’s still with me, as she brings me so much comfort in times of genuine need. I have a heart condition now and was very seriously ill with sepsis in February. I was lapsing in and out of consciousness and was certain she was on the bed beside me.

I'm so sorry, I know how incredibly painful this is. What a beautiful girl ❤️

Oh bless. I’m so sorry but I’m sure he’s had a wonderful life, and the kindest thing you can do is let him go at this stage. But it is so hard.

I lost my best boy a few years ago but the vet came to the house to put him to sleep, so his last memories were of us talking to him and holding him in familiar surroundings. That did help a little but I still miss him.

What a beauty - you were clearly in tune with each other, that she let you know something wasn't right. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had to let three dogs go now, and in each case they took their last breaths in my arms, the place where they always felt safest, knowing they were loved. It's the smallest comfort but so hard. Be gentle with yourself.

@ApolloandDaphne We had a terminally Ill dog - It’s incredibly hard to emotionally cope.
We had home euthanasia- We didn’t opt for amputation or chemo or anything as the chief vet said if it was her dog she’d PTS when symptoms got worse ( limp).