One night stand and feelings

[Meltedcheeses]

Went back to a guy's house on Friday.

A lot of chat from him about the future.

Texted a bit since but today is clear he's not interested in seeing me again.

He's done nothing wrong. We are both locals at the same pub. One of those things. I was insanely drunk.

Just the classic embarrassment now. And a kind of disappointment he really gave the impression he'd liked me a while and was talking about cooking for me etc

And it was the usual.

I'm so dumb.

Well...it's the same pub isn't it. Be the weekend soon.

Was it good sex?

Was it safe sex?

If yes to both, all good! You've done nothing wrong either. So head held high, and carry on regardless.

Being insanely drunk and going back to a man's house, one I'm assuming you don't know well if at all, is really ill advised.

If you're looking for a genuine relationship, lay off the booze. It doesn't help anything.

was talking about cooking for me

Men will talk til the cows come home won’t they.

Don't have sex with men straight away if it's a relationship you are after , if not bang away but do it sober, you don't want to end up with men you would not even entertain without beer googles , plus you could end up doing things sexually you wouldn't consider sober . Sex and too much alcohol is not a good mix .

They will tell women anything to get what they want.

A man who has sex with an "insanely drunk" woman is no prince.

I think you've probably dodged a bullet.

Men will say anything and everything to get women into bed. Once they have got what they want, they will return to their normal everyday life. Don’t sleep with him again if you see him again, or he will happily string you along, as he will have nothing to lose, and your emotions will become more involved / deeper (we kid ourselves they won’t!). You sound young, I suggest you chalk this up to life experience!

You had a drunken one night stand, prior to which the man talked about having a relationship with you? All he wanted was a shag by the sounds of it. Hold your head high, you've done nothing wrong.

When you see him again, just smile and say hi, and carry on chatting to your friends. You can't have feelings for someone you don't know, you just feel bad because it seemed like the start of something new and it wasn't.

Forgive yourself and move on. I hope the sex was worth it!

Two pieces of advice. There's nothing wrong with one night stands as long as that's what you're after. I always saw ONS as exactly that, a chance to have sex and a good time. I never expected more.

If that's not what you're after ie you want a relationship. Then get to know the chap first and stop drinking so much. Getting insanely drunk is never a good idea.

If he was implying he wanted a relationship pre and then not after, he has done something wrong.

It’s a horrible feeling being led down the garden path but you’re not the first and won’t be the last. Chalk it up to experience and hold your head high x

Thanks. Perhaps insanely drunk was not a good phrase. I was drunk enough to feel a little hungover the next day. Not sick or headache.. just sub par.

I wanted a one night stand. He was good company and it was fun. I hadn't had my eye on him. I hadn't been in the market for a relationship. I've been single for years and prefer it. But through spending time with him I did get to like him. That's more the problem.

To the lovely and non judgmentals..

I'm seeing him tomorrow night!

I realised he just wasn't the pushy type. I already knew he was shy.

I'm happy.

😊

Lovely! What did he text you?

🥰🥰

If she was insanely drunk, isn’t that rape legally rape nowadays?

That’s good news OP. Why did you think he was clearly not interested btw?

I’d want to see if he’s communicative in the week, not just in the run up to the weekend. But I am extremely cynical and very single, so feel free to ignore!

Good luck and hope he’s a nice man.

Have a lovely time - it very difficult when things start out - I spent a lovely 3 nights with someone I’d met twice before - early days but great connection and communication - you never can tell !

Thank you because brilliant question.

I've always dated quite sort of "take the lead" guys. But then I've ended up feeling really controlled and judged in relationships.

Spending the night with this guy (lots and lots of talking then sex and sooo much cuddling) I could see he was kind of self secure enough not to push.

I noticed he replied immediately. Never once got into his first damn him!

I guess I appreciated a new say for men to be. Never chasing or pushing...but always there being happy with where you are.

And as soon I suggested meeting up (something i would never do) he replied immediately. In seconds.

It feels like a new way of being in a relationship.

Girls I am really liking this!! I feel in control of myself not trying to please someone. And responsible for myself.

I'm so looking forward to seeing him. It's a different vibe. Sorry to be so soppy.

Thank you xx I've realised it's a bad phrase to use.

I was drunk enough to be annoying. I've actually never spent the night with a guy so seemingly totally blissed out that I was there.