Best age to give a phone to kids

[Gifgaf]

My soon to be 8 year old keeps asking us when she gets a phone and I have to explain numerous times she's too young right now and will think about it once she's independent enough.

What is the right age really ? How do you approach this question without making them wish to be older straight away ?

Oh dear!
🤣🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes this is where I'm at as well - all mine have had phones for their 11th birthday, so they can get used to them going into Y7, but they are also young enough to respect the boundaries I set and know that I can and will check them at any point. I know from my teen that they do so much socialising and arranging meet-ups etc via their phones, that as much as I'd prefer them not to have them, I'd hate for them to be the ones missing out on social stuff and friendships. I see my job as helping them to learn how to use their phones appropriately, rather than giving them one at 16 and saying off you go!

It's not a binary choice. It's not phones at 13, dressed skimpily on a street corner OR no tech and no going out alone til 16. Many of us manage to find a sensible balance

So you're her parent not her friend? Too right. Don't cop out with lazy parenting banning things you can't be bothered to work on with her.

And funnily enough she will want her own friends, not just cousins! Her actual friends will be chatting on their phones and making arrangements.

What is it exactly about these kids ‘up North’ that you dislike in dress sense? It’s normal for kids to dress similarly and act the same, it’s why they choose the friends that they do.

Northern bashing 🙄

Well at least the kid won’t be missing out….cos she’s not going to be allowed out with her mates til she’s 16

My dd had to have one at age 5 due to a medical condition so it was with her all the time. At first she didn’t know the passcode but from age 6.5 she did and we had to monitor all use as she had it in school on her all the time too. She is now so responsible with it so it can work if done carefully with a child with the right mindset . My other dc got one when they started secondary school

@Hayley1256 you as a parent maynit see the attention span problem but the teachers are certainly seeing it in school. Because kids become used to watching short Ticktock videos and receiving quick rewards, they don't have the same ability to sit and pay attention in lessons. The problem is particularly bad at high school, honestly it's bad and getting worse. I really think we have done this generation a total disservice. They have been used as an experiment an not in a good way. And the metal health problems are really bad I see it every day at work and I work in nice normal high school not in a difficult or deprived area.

All the teachers I know have been quite strict with phone access for their kids as they to see how it can go horribly wrong. Even if you try and do everything right.

I'm not exposing her to anything, I wouldn't say watching age appropriate tik tok videos is the same as been on social media. By the time she's 13 she will be a lot more savvy and safe then someone who gets given a Smart phone for the first time at that age. She knows not post stuff and she's never asked roo, we add new channels to her feed together so I know the content is appropriate. For Roblox, she tends to use a private server so her and her friends are the only ones in game- this avoids any interactions with strangers. People are making some pretty big and inaccurate assumptions just because she has a phone and tablet.

I would resist as long as possible. Definitely not before secondary but it's harder to resist then because they become more independent and want to talk to friends and organise meet ups etc. But you can still have rules at home like insisting phones are left downstairs overnight (the worst of the arguing and bullying on social media happens overnight and if they don't see it till the next day when it's all blown over it's easier to deal with).

Wow, OP I was not judgemental of your choices at all until you started the northern bashing (I am a southerner).

Re-reading this thread I am not entirely sure it is genuine. You seem to have made your mind up about when your DD will get a phone so I am not sure why you asked others apart from wanting to judge the answers?

I agree and we did this - kids eldest now 19 seem okay - kept them off social media till 13 and slowly drew back on the monitoring over teen years. Also strict about them not being in rooms at night till much older.

You could do something other than YouTube, at only 8 that's entirely in your control.

That may be the case for some kids amd that my be a wider problem but I honestly don't think it's affected mine. Her teacher even speciality pointed out that she has a good attention span and can be quite tenacious when it comes to completing tasks. She happily will sit through long movies, theatre shows, read a book etc. Like I've said, she doesn't actually use it that much (her choice) I was just stating some of the things she does do on her devices. Each child is different so there isn't a set age for first phone, walking to school alone etc

I’ve got a two year old and already know she won’t have one until she’s in year 6/7.. it would just transition to that with secondary school for me.

It's not about northern bashing but it's what I've seen and it makes me uncomfortable. Can't be anymore genuine, I have an idea of when I will give my child a phone but I was interested to hear the views of other parents also.

Very obvious you have no children 🤣

Extreme makeup choices, extreme revealing clothes and lots more and I feel bad for them because they are kids. I only mention the North because it's so far the only place I've seen it at. If you are allowing your young child to go out like that, then you are the issue.

All of my 6 and 12 year old homework is online. Even the majority of their reading books.

6 year has a tablet which they do theirs on.
12 year old has an I phone for school/ homework. They do have tik tok and snap chat.
It's all monitored.

The plan had been age 10 which we did with eldest but my youngest got areconditioned iPhone at 8 due to lockdowns to keep in touch with friends.

Both got decent Samsungs for starting high school at 12.

Is it only in the North children being in friendship groups make you uncomfortable? Does it not happen where you live?

I’d be concerned about your child being given the opportunities to mature if she isn’t allowed out socially by herself.

Let me guess you're also that "cool" parent that allows sleepovers.

Actually no it doesn't happen where I live. Where I live I see parents with their children and children who look like children.

In Scotland (still being rolled out) they all get handed a Chromebook when they start high school at age 11/12 so any delusions about avoiding the internet and social media ends there any way.

What’s wrong with sleepovers? 😂