Oh what financial fools we’ve been

[Platform8]

Good evening,

So today DH and I finally sat down, pulled our credit reports and faced up to years of spending fuckery. We are early 40’s with 2 teens. In ‘good’ jobs with a reasonable mortgage. I earn 65k and DH earns 50k. I also earn an additional 5-10k on freelance work .

for years we have been financial dickheads taking fancy holidays, spending on the house, cars, supporting other family members and generally buying whatever we want. We’ve consolidated many times and run up debt again and again. We tried to remortgage recently but we were declined due to our level of borrowing.

I owe 47k and dh 44k. Please be gentle…. I know how atrocious this is. We also owe my mum 18k but she has said that there’s no rush to repay.

so…. This is where things change. Thankfully we can afford the payments if we get our spending under control. we’ve been through everything and we think that we can throw £3500 at the debt. It will still take a while but we WILL do it

what fucking idiots we have been

It is scarily easy to do!

I recently applied for a new credit card - I pay everything off monthly etc so no balances. It arrived with a credit limit of £13750. My other card has a limit of £12500 - both zero interest too - I need two cos I'm working away and need to leave one with my young adult kids to buy food/pay for vets etc

Who needs these idiotic credit limits - sure when I buy big things like a car etc I put sone on a credit card for added peace of mind, but they are daft credit limits.

Good luck @Platform8 you're doing the right thing in getting rid of debt. Once you're free, you will be able to afford what the F you like without credit!

My mum would have been furious if I'd taken a consolidation loan out to pay her. I admit she would have been pretty shocked at these levels of debt too.

This. Can't recommend this site and tge community groups enough. Some may not suit you right now as they can be brutally honest, but there will be one that's a good fit.

Are you the op with a name change fail?

I'm sorry you have had so many unhelpful comments. Its great you are facing up to things. I can recommend Christians Against Poverty (You do NOT need to be a christian to use their services). They will provide help and support, contacting the card companies, drawing up a very detailed budget with you and you will receive no judgement as it just doesn't help.

Most people come unstuck with their budgets, as they are just not realistic enough. You are going to find it very difficult to live without having any fun at all. You need to factor in birthdays/Christmas/car maintenance/house maintenance/dentists/prescriptions/glasses/clothing/shoes/etc. Also like someone else mentioned, have a really honest discussion about why you spend.

Best of luck.

Morning, that’s not the case. It was a loan from mum with the expectation if me repaying it. Mum is just happy for us to make some inroads with the other debts for now.

We are home owners- I did refer to our mortgage in my initial post.

I think the chances of us getting a consolidation loan at that level is highly unlikely!

Nope, not me

@Platform8 I reckon it's time for you to leave this Board. There are too many evil buggers just being spiteful because they enjoy it.
Best Wishes & Nil Caborundum

Some of the comments on here are appalling - total lack of empathy. As some pp have said, I'd get yourself onto the money saving expert forums and website - the website itself has great advice and you'll find much more empathy and practical advice on the forums than you're getting here. Good luck and well done for facing up to it!

I’m a tough old bird. I think that these type of threads often attract people who are deeply unhappy, and therefore make spiteful comments to make themselves feel better. Quite sad really not nothing that causes me to lose any sleep

OP, read your responses and not the whole thread, but I’m sure you’ve been recommended YNAB (You Need A Budget app) by now. It’s incredibly helpful and will give you clarity over your financial choices like nothing else. It’s also slightly gamified (without intending to be, I think!) and so it’s a helpful obsession to throw yourself into.

Good luck. You’re not only trying to pay things off you also need to learn to save for future expenses you’d have previously put on credit, so it’s a very big adjustment.

Once you're done with the debt, get your ISAs filled up each year and look at your pensions because you are likely underfunded in pensions and your employers might be willing to make additional payments.

I have a question, no judgement, I'm just curious because this size debt would terrify me and its interesting how people end up in this situation

As you were accumulating this debt, and as it got bigger and bigger what was your feelings towards it. Was it head in the sand or were you comfortable with the amount of debt and happy to carry on spending? What was the plan, or wasnt there a plan. And what was the breakthrough moment where you decided it needed to stop?

Our heads were definitely in the sand, I also think that we kidded ourselves that everyone is in debt and that it was ‘normal, which it clearly isn’t!! I think that not being able to remortgage was the wake up call we needed

There's people with much more debt than you over on money saving expert debt free diaries but that have paid it off. We're all wise after the event !

Have you anything you can sell to quickly make an impact ? Just paying one debt off helps your credit score to get better offers.

Really? More than 100k? I thought there were only a few of us!!

Thanks for replying @Platform8

Good luck with the repaying!

@Platform8 Please don’t follow the advice to borrow against your house to consolidate. This is terrible advice as it essentially converts unsecured debt into secured debt.
At the moment if it goes really wrong you can get a CCJ, if you consolidate and it goes tits up they’ve got your house.

@Platform8 yes really !

Wow

It's probably people with tax debt

I think that debt does have to be considered in relation to income. From the numbers you have posted, you owe about the same as 1 years gross income. This might be a lot but there’ll be hundreds of thousands, if not millions of others in the same situation. I think the people often experience a knee jerk reaction when the numbers are higher, however a person on 30k a year wouldn’t elicit such a reaction.

It is all too easy to accrue a lot of debt. Buy now, pay later. There is a whole industry around convincing the willing to commit and the unwilling that they want to really.

No judgement from me.

@Platform8 is there the possibility for you/DH to increase your income? We only truly got a grip on our finances when I secured a better paying job (I hadn't realised how underpaid I was). If you have been in the same roles for a while you might be in a similar position.

Good lord. The average debt unsecured in the uk is 4k per person. Of course millions don’t owe a years gross income.

I’d that right? Seems low when you factor in car loans etc.